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Whats the Easiest Way to tell somebody your Trans?

Started by rebeccacross, July 29, 2013, 10:30:29 PM

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Whats the Easiest Way to tell somebody your Trans?

In Person
16 (59.3%)
Email
7 (25.9%)
Letter or Note
2 (7.4%)
Phone Call
2 (7.4%)

Total Members Voted: 22

Voting closed: August 08, 2013, 10:30:29 PM

rebeccacross

This is not a scientific study, just looking for opinions. 
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kelly_aus

Depended on the person and how close we are.. Some I told in person, some I told on the phone.. Many just found out via Facebook..
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Constance

Quote from: Kelly the Trans-Rebel on July 29, 2013, 10:40:40 PM
Depended on the person and how close we are.. Some I told in person, some I told on the phone.. Many just found out via Facebook..
^ This.

I used a letter for my parents and brothers, and emails for some friends. Some friends I told in person, as I did for my kids and (then) wife.

I had two Facebook profiles for a while: one in my birth name and one in my chosen name. I friended myself and eventually posted a "Goodby and Hello" note on my David account, explaining the transition and linking to my Connie account.

Cindy

The family I invited around for dinner and presented as Cindy when the arrived.

Work I called people together and said  " I'm transgendered and as from next week I'll coming to work wearing female clothing as appropriate to my gender". And did.

All my other places of work found out when I got to work and it went viral.

No one has thought it was a big deal.
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StellaB

I didn't vote because you left the key element off - a photo - which would make any of the options perfectly valid.

What you have to bear in mind is that you are addressing people who know you and accept you in one gender identity and you're telling them that you're actually the other gender.

You're usually at the very start of your transition.

Passing and how you look is very important at this stage. If you've spent any time on these message boards you will notice the 'vanity' threads, 'Do I look female?', 'Could I pass one day?'

Without a photo or a visual representation of what you look like you are inviting who you tell to use their imagination.

This rarely, if ever, works in your favour.

If someone is important enough that you feel you ought to tell them, then I feel you owe it to yourself to make an effort on the presentation.

You don't have to pass (just in case you think you do). I didn't pass when I came out, but a photo made a difference and I feel influenced some people's decision to accept me as me. It gave them a visual representation and a basic idea of what I looked like in my new gender role.

This is what it's about, giving people that new image and basis for their imagination.

Whatever you decide I wish you luck.
"The truth within me is more than the reality which surrounds me."
Constantin Stanislavski

Mistakes not only provide opportunities for learning but also make good stories.
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Jess42

I'm kinda' like Stella in that here is nothing there for me to vote on. Relationships aside, I've only told a couple of people and it was they who asked me, very close friends. As for everyone else, what they think they think and I feel no need to tell anyone. If someone gets it right, good. If someone gets it wrong, good too. (Creepy singing) I'll never telllllll.....
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suzifrommd

A close friend or family member should be in person.

Anyone else, the best way is to have someone in authority as for acceptance. E.g. the hostess at a social gathering includes in the invitation that you're now called Rebecca and want female pronouns. When I worked over the summer, I asked that my supervisor inform the team I'd be working with.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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LordKAT

I didn't vote cause my method wasn't up there.

I changed my name and let it go from there.
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Constance

I should add that I didn't vote either because my answer was, "It depends on the person."

Dreams2014

Farewell to my friends, farewell to the life I knew. I burn what once was, and in the ashes I am born anew.
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Emmaline

Okay I did these...

Face to face:  parents, close friends and wife
Email:  work collegues and distant friends

The email gaves two benefits in my mind.  First, you can link to data for those unaware of the condition,  and second-  people get a chance to formulate a response based on that data without being put on the spot.

When I did face to face I had some thin info sheets that I could leave with them.
Body... meet brain.  Now follow her lead and there will be no more trouble, you dig?



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kathyk

If you're looking for the best way to tell everyone there isn't one good way.  But the poll says the "Easiest" way, so I voted for email even though the best way for me was in person.  Done three of the four, and each has an advantage, but when telling my wife and sons face to face they understood the torment more and asked important questions.  Plus I got an immediate reaction. 

I've been married 35 years in September and the hardest thing I've ever done involved telling my wife everything I held back since we first talked about it 25 years ago.  And the second most difficult thing was for both of us to sit and tell our two sons I was transitioning.  The rest was a piece of cake after that, and emails or letters worked well. 

K








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~RoadToTrista~

I wrote down a large paragraph on a piece of paper for my therapist. Gawd that sucked.
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JillSter

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You're a girl
And I am too! :D

To be serious though, I'd think the easiest way would be email. I've been going back and forth between wanting to move far away and keep in touch with my family via email vs starting HRT and having the talk when it becomes obvious. I'm still undecided.
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JessicaH

#14
I'm just not telling anyone. If they start asking questions, I will plead ignorant. If they have photos, I will claim they are Photoshopped!!  lol 
But after 2.5 years of HRT, I must admit that things are starting to get interesting.....  >:-)
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vegie271



Except for the people from my high school (and one college professor I needed to ask to fill out a research paper) , everyone I have told has been in person

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kariann330

I found email.or text message to be the easiest way for me. Plus most of my friends live all over the US now so a face to face really.isn't possible. Closest i have come was a phone convo with my aunt.
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