So, my appointment is on Saturday (Melady Preece)...and I'm still super nervous and worried that anything I say will be twisted and used against me. I feel like I'm on trial to prove that I actually am suffering and need hrt.

Ughhhhhhhhh...

$450 down the drain just so that the doctors can cover their butts so they can't be sued.

(Yes, I know I've been gone a long time; due to Susan's no longer using tapatalk)

I'm sure you are worrying for nothing. Looking at her Facebook page, she seems pretty up on working with transpeople. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dr-Melady-Preece/122833854405815

Quote from: JessicaH on July 31, 2013, 06:06:21 PM
I'm sure you are worrying for nothing. Looking at her Facebook page, she seems pretty up on working with transpeople. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dr-Melady-Preece/122833854405815

Yeah I know.  :/

I just don't trust gatekeepers, after all they are complete strangers with the ability to deny life saving treatments.

Quote from: Skye-Blue on July 31, 2013, 06:11:43 PM
Yeah I know.  :/

I just don't trust gatekeepers, after all they are complete strangers with the ability to deny life saving treatments.

Well you should trust your gatekeeper. I see this many times in post no one trust there therapist, social worker etc.. Then why do you go to them. The reason for the gatekeepers is just that to save lifes. They are supposed to hear you say what will make you happy. So yes if you feel you are not happy with this therapist then do not use them. Look for someone who is a true understanding gatekeeper.
My therapist i feel is part of my family and she helped me deal with everything through my process with out pushing me one way or another.

Good luck on your path, hope all works out for you and if anything you need to be 1000% honest when it comes to your life.

Hugs
Izzy

Quote from: mind is quiet now on July 31, 2013, 07:15:24 PM
Well you should trust your gatekeeper. I see this many times in post no one trust there therapist, social worker etc.. Then why do you go to them. The reason for the gatekeepers is just that to save lifes. They are supposed to hear you say what will make you happy. So yes if you feel you are not happy with this therapist then do not use them. Look for someone who is a true understanding gatekeeper.
My therapist i feel is part of my family and she helped me deal with everything through my process with out pushing me one way or another.

Good luck on your path, hope all works out for you and if anything you need to be 1000% honest when it comes to your life.

Hugs
Izzy

Thanks for the different perspective Izzy.

I just thought they were supposed to evaluate and analyze you to make sure that "you're really trans"...

I mean I know they care, but I just don't know what narrative they expect out of me.

<3

-Skye

Quote from: JulieR on July 31, 2013, 07:25:46 PM
Welcome back Skye.  Possibly some of your fears are wise, but my guess is that you are just feeling extreme anxiety and worry over the eval.  I'd guess that nothing is ever as bad as we fear, nor as good as we hope.  I'd bet that it will go fine.

Yeah...my eye has been twitching like non stop for several days.

I hope it goes well :/

<3

-Skye

Quote from: Skye-Blue on July 31, 2013, 07:29:43 PM
I mean I know they care, but I just don't know what narrative they expect out of me.

A therapist can only help you if you are 100% genuine with them. What she expects and needs from you is for you to honest when you are telling her about your feelings. Don't filter what you say; she is not going to be shocked by what you tell her. Remember that shes there to help YOU.

Your initial session will be nerve wracking because you don't know what to expect, but once you get past that one i think you'll find you'll find that you  are forming a bond with the therapist and trust is beginning to form.

Good luck with your visit!

Quote from: Skye-Blue on July 31, 2013, 07:29:43 PM
Thanks for the different perspective Izzy.

I just thought they were supposed to evaluate and analyze you to make sure that "you're really trans"...

I mean I know they care, but I just don't know what narrative they expect out of me.

<3

-Skye

Just be honest with them if they understand what role they have as being a gatekeeper. Do not tell them what you think they want, just tell them how you fell inside. Be totaly honest.

Izzy

Thanks for the advice ladies. I'll tell you how it goes.

-Skye

Good luck *fingers crossed*

Maddy

Hey Skye,

I am glad you are back and all is well.  Don't be nervous about it.  The best thing you can do is to be yourself.   Let us know how it goes.

P.S.  Tapatalk is back.  I can't stand it, but I guess it beats using the phone's browser like I'm doing.

don't worry gal. if one therapist turns you down you can always get consent from another.

I agree with everyone else: just be yourself and you'll be fine. There's no narrative that determines whether or not someone gets treatment. The only narrative you need to tell is your story and why you need to go on treatment and how it is going to save your life and make it worth living. There might have been some narrative in the 1970s or something, don't know as i wasn't alive, but I think now as long as you are honest you will be on HRT in no time flat. I know you are non-op but I can't imagine that would disqualify you as it would be pretty messed up, no really messed up, if it did. But it won't. From readin your posts, if I was the therapist, I would def prescribe you HRT as there is only one real requirement for HRT: you know you are trans and you know you need it. And it will not only save your life, but vastly improve it. I'm rooting for ya. You'll be fine Skye. I just know it. Good luck!

Welcome back Skye-blue.

I think we need to get over the 'gatekeeper' negative thoughts. Every single medic has to be a gatekeeper because they are legally responsible for treating you and if they do it incorrectly they get their bums sued off.

Every medic I know, including the ones who treat TG people, are concerned for the safety, health and happiness of their patient. Nothing more or less.

The person you are seeing is very experienced and has many TG patients, she wants to help you, not to hurt you.

Go with confidence and a smile in the heart, next step of the journey is about to start!!!

I would like to recommend that as you wait for your appointment, sit down and write out everything you would like her to know as well as anything you would like her to know. I'm sur eyou will be amazed at how fast she will make you feel at ease but you will still be nervous the first visit or two and it will ensure that you communicate everything you would like.

My first therapy visit, I was really nervous and I just couldn't believe I was sitting there telling someone I just met all the things I considered my deepest and darkest secrets. Secrets that I always thought I would take to my grave but I was at the point that I'd rather start telling my secrets because it was a better option than an early grave...

I figured, I'm paying this person $125/hour to help me so I am going to do everything I can to help her do her job. No use in paying them that much money to slowly pry the information out of me. I didn't hold ANYTHING back and even wrote about an incident that made her jaw drop. It wasn't something I was proud of but I it actually reinforced how serious I was about everything (it was something that could be seen as self harming or practicing medicine on yourself).

I told her I was self medicating as well and her only concern was for my health so she asked me if I would see a doctor to oversee the HRT if she could find one and I said , "sure".  So overall, I found it a by positive experience and it felt incredible to have someone listen and understand what I was going through.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!!!!    Jess

Hi Skye!  I see Melady upon occasion, and found her very easy to talk to and not terribly gatekeeper-ish at all (tell her Brittany sez hi  )  My first session I was super shaky at the end just because of nerves and talking about stuff I never ever said to anyone else, but it was a start.

For me, it was just about getting my head on straight.  After that things seemed to go much more smoothly 

Best wishes!

I was worried about things when I went to my first one and then when I got there I realized that I had nothing to worry about.

*Update*

Hey ladies,

I had my appointment last Saturday and it went extremely well. Melady was very nice and very non-clinical. She definitely is all about helping trans people.

She interspersed serious talk with regular talk so it made it easier to tell her certain things.

I still have one more appointment to go and a psych eval I have to fill out and send back. Then she'll write my letter and I get my E. Yay!

Best $450 spent ever! I'm glad I chose her.

<3

-Skye

Congrats!  I'm glad she exceeded your expectations and now you don't have to stress about it anymore!  Yay!  :-)

Thanks for the supportive advice ladies...I was super nervous at the time but your kind words helped me quite a bit.

-Skye