I'm WickedVixen and I just registered minutes ago... LOL
I am a transgender Mtf Pre-Op living in Mississippi.  I am not exactly happy here, but I am much closer to family than I was in Florida.
My new PCP is wonderful, she's up with much of the LGBT community and the health care practices.  I even let her know I could help her find more info about trans and where to go.  My counselor is board certified, but not quite so up in the WPATH info, so I asked him to look into it.  He did tell me that he had one patient who was also transgender, but that was about a decade ago.  New times; new stuff...

I am currently living with my nephew's family (wife, and 2 kids).  He's employed.  Wife is babysitter/housekeeper.  I'm unemployed and still looking for a trans-friendly job/work environment.  I have appointments that need to be dealt with, funds and transportation, and don't have any of my own.  I have to rely on family to take me.

I have been living as a woman since October of last year and have found it so very liberating!  I knew there was something different about me when I was growing up, but couldn't put my finger on it.  Reading some psychological studies and explanations of early childhood life, revealed to me the turning point in my own life that I was different.  My counselor in Florida had opened a repressed memory that was so utterly traumatic, I locked it away.  Long story short:  my dad found me in his bedroom with his wife's clothes and makeup and shoes (my 1st stepmom), and he tore them off me, beating me between belt swings, yelling at me, and I ended up under my own bed, bloody, urine-soaked and crying.  When my stepmom got home, he told her to get me and if she told anyone she's get what I got.  The yelling was "you're my only boy ... you need to act like one ... you need to be a man ..." and so forth.

I hid how I truly was from him as much as I could.  It was hard, tragic.  I survived, managed to start working through a whole bunch of things, and ended up at the point I am today, writing this introduction.  This is a hard thing to express, but I have to tell someone, so I can start healing.  I played with my male friends, only to play with their sisters with dress up and tea parties and such, then back to the 'little boy things' when I'm outside and my dad can see me playing.  Science and math were my best subjects, English, too.  I just wanted to be "Daddy's Perfect Little Boy" that I eventually began to believe there was something wrong with me.

I found out that there was nothing wrong with me, but in the way he perceived what I was.

Anyway, I know I started something and I'm leaving it off in a hurry like this, but I need to get some sleep.  If you want to know more, just ask.  That's all I implore of you...

Thanks.  I hope my stay will be long and fruitful.

Hi WickedVixen 

Welcome to Susan's    Happy to have you here

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Hugs

V M

Greetings, WickedVixen.  A sunny southern California welcome to you.

There is nothing wrong with you, and you have no unhealthy expectations to live up to here.

Welcome to the site WickedVixen we are so glad you are here!

Welcome WickedVixen!

Amy

Hi WickedVixen,

Welcome to our little family. Over 6925. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.


Janet  )O(

hi wickedvixen, soo happy you are here,I  live in your neighboring state and and right on the al-ms stateline,if i can be any help  let me know tight hugs

Thank you for all the wonderful replies, welcoming me to the Family.  Thank you. 

I have been applying for disability:  severe depression related to my "gender identity disorder".  (That's how they diagnosed me here in Mississippi.)   I have a hearing, as of June, sometime in 12-14 months, but it can take up to 20 months with all of the reviews and disbursements.  This was since last March when I knew something was wrong, and my fiancee (at the time) found me after another suicide attempt.

I was so distraught and upset, but never really knew what was going on.  Then someone suggested I look online for some counseling, and it took all of March to April to determine that I was suffering from something.  Then from April to September to pinpoint what it was:  I was in a male body, with a female personality that wanted her physical form to match her demeanor.  I consider myself 'transgender MtF pre-op'.  I know a few transsexuals who embrace both sides of their yin-yang and love what skills they are proficient in, making money from that...

Those things that I love to do are graphic art (3D and 2D), creating fonts, writing and poetry (mostly science fiction), reading (currently 'Metro2033' by Dmitry Glukhovsky, translated into English; also mostly science fiction), video games (a whole lot!!!!! The 'RockBand' series is my favorite as I also like...), karaoke, swimming, bicycling, hiking/walking.  I love music, and I do write lyrics, but I can't usually figure out the musical composition to make the lyrics work. LOL

Some of the things that I have done to make some money are:
logo designs and line art
custom fonts
text & document proofing
professional form creation (like custom receipts or ledger/record forms for towing, etc.)
retail sales
customer service
computer repair and virus removal
IT computer management and maintenance
coding and waybill design/printing for a fish farm
modem implementation for a faxing database system (I designed the software and implemented it at work; 300bps at the time (snail slow by today's standards)) 
rewrote a section of code to allow for the fractions of change to be accrued to the person they belonged to at the end of the fiscal year, and a separate check issued to them, instead of rounding up or cutting it off, into a payroll system
tutoring maths, science, English, computer basics and internet surfing
( mostly as needed for the company to expand and/or get updated)

I was hoping maybe someone was in need of some kind of services.  I have reasonable prices and anything you might need, I may have.  Just ask.  I will open up another forum link, soon, for services and advice.

@Ms Donna Thorn:  Please, contact me with your e-mail address.  I'd like to ask you some questions personally.

Thank you again for your kind remarks.