I've been poking my nose around this site for a bit and have finally decided to join. *thumbs up* I'm a working progress with my transition...I'm ftm or, getting there. I'm technically in-the-closet but my family can be so blind that I think I can actually get a male hair cut and them not suspect me being trans. They might think I'm lesbian, but not trans. Because they don't know what 'transgender' is......
I can't put an exact age of when my gender dysphoria started or began because when I was in my early stages of childhood I was pretty free. I was never forced into girly things; my mom just let me and my sister take what ever interests and based on those interests is what I got for Christmas.
I liked dinosaurs and animals so my mother spread the word around the family outside the house to what to get me for holidays. I ended up with a toy box full of any creature the mind could fathom. I was happy! A huge part that I believe helped hide any personal questions about my gender is I had no social interaction. I always played alone-and very much preferred it. Not being around girls my age or boys my age, I didn't suspect anything different about me accept that I was the only dreadfully shy kid in class and had no idea how to approach people. I just let me be me with no worries. Until...when one of my eldest brothers got married. That's when I turned from timid, meek child to angry and pissed off flower-girl. The only major times I had to wear dress was when my mother forced me to be a flower girl for a wedding. God, I wanted to tear myself out of those poofy white dresses. HOW. DO. YOU. WALK. IN. DRESSES.
Anyway, back to present times. I did come out to my mom who, absolutely has no idea what to do. I came out last...January I want to say. Year 2012 was coming to an end. Hmm, yeah seems about right. Since then, we've never talked about it. I'm not troubled about it, I think that her fears are all coming from the fact that she has absolutely no knowledge of ->-bleeped-<- and is doing nothing to get information. So, all her worries are floating around in her head without finding answers. I haven't brought it up because I want her to approach me on the subject. Maybe that's not the right route, I don't know, but seeing the situation in my house right now I'm not going to begin a conversation about me wanting to be male.
My best friend is the second person I came out to and is the last person I came out to. The reaction was the opposite of my mom's. She accepted me! Win!
However her knowledge on transgenders is around the same as ma's...but since she's open to conversations about it, I'm hoping to fill her in on what it is. Because, there is no way I'm going to leave it to the media to tell her who trans people are!
Not only a transgender guy but an autistic transgender guy. My brain wasn't happy with just having Asperger's Syndrome it needed to make itself a bit more complicating so it flipped a card and decided to say it's male and not female just to make me all the more different from others.
I'm not upset at all with this though. I am very happy that I am trans and have become very positive. It was before I found out I'm trans that I was worried and unsure of myself. Kind of a switch compared to what I've read from others....
Well, it's already taken me too long to type this up; my brain is beginning to fry from this laptop screen. I am very happy to have found this site (as it's very hard to find trans support sites) and am hoping to find loving people here!
See you in the forums!
