Okay so I am in boy mode pre-everything... walking along the street when I noticed someone look at me funny.  No idea why.  Checked myself and nothing embarrassing on my face. No one else noticed me.  Hmmm.

It occurred to me if I was in girl mode, I would have immediately assumed I was clocked and had a bad day from that point forward.

I spent the rest of the week, whenever I could, imagining I was in girl mode (which I do most of the time, lets face it).  I looked at peoples reactions to me and discovered that so much could be misconstrued as being clocked.  It was a killer positive experience for me- because it has given me a little armor for when I start part timing.  People think all sorts of things and react in weird ways even when nothing is amiss. I realised how I cannot read peoples thoughts, and so I can be more confident in girl mode. 
Sure, some will clock me... but its not all about the clockage. 

Some people are just.... being people.

That was a nice experiment

I have talked with my therapist a lot about the stares thing,
like there are so many possible answers about why would someone look at you , you cant know...

But I have in my mind some types of stares that occur to me when I got out ( im andogynous at this state )
the first one is the wtf stare , first they look at your face then at your body and then again at your face having a wtf look on their face,,,those people obviously cant really tell what you are ,,,so they get confused.
the second type is the acceptance stare , they stare but they have a warm kinda look and they smile to you , you can tell its not the making fun kind of smile...these people understand you are different and don mind at all
the third is the wow no way stare , this is the best i think, first they look at you thinking that you are a girl for example , after realising that you are not they get really surprised
the fourth is the angry stare , not exaclty angry , these people propably think stuff about you i dunno
and the last one is the neutral , you know, you just cross eyes , they might think something i dunno...

in girl mode i only had the neutral and the angry stare ... :/


yeap thats how i spend my free time