Hello everyone, I just want to introduce myself. I am 44 yrs old and am married with 4 children ages 20- 15. In the last 2 months I have been struggling with this feeling I have been carrying with my for years but buried. Now the feeling I have is causing many sleepless night and crying sessions. The future looks very bleak, I work in corporate america and I feel that it would never be acceptable, my friends, family would not be very accepting. My wife has been very supportive, I have cried on her shoulder for hours. This is definetly a burden I wouldn't wish on anyone. Initially it was worse but lately I am becoming more comfortable with who I am. Alot of that has to do with reading the words on this forum and others, and of course my wife. I am trying to cope and we are going to go to counciling. I want to thank everyone for creating such a place where I can learn so much about this and that I am not alone in my feelings. Thanks again.

Hi Allie,

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Janet  )O(

Welcome Allie

Seems you are starting to feel you can no longer stuff the feelings inside. Glad to see you are going to get professional help. My personal feeling is a good gender therapist is worth there weight in gold. They will help guide you through all the hard aspects of this path you are now walking.
A personal note from me to you is never put the cart in front of the horse, remember once you let the girl out of the bottle there is no way to put her back (genie in the bottle metaphor). This is going to be one of the hardest things you will do in your life when you transition. You will be sad at the same time happy, You will laugh at the same time you cry, YOU WILL BE SCARED and think the whole world is looking at you. And last you will loose everything in your life, family, friends, job, wife and children. To answer this i would have to say is, i could, i will, i did not. For me maybe i am a exception more then the rule. My X drove these fears into my mind everyday but i went full time and only thing i lost was my X and now i see i lost her before we where married (24yrs), i was her security blanket and not her life mate.

Take everyting one step at a time. Cry when you need, scream if you have to but never ever forget you have always been you wrapped in the wrong wrapper.

Hugs
Izzy

Thank you for the greetings. "mind is quiet" all those things that you refer to in your reply hit home. I do feel happy and sad at the same time, currently smiling with a tear. What is great here is I am not reinventing the wheel, I certainly do feel this struggle.

Allie, there is no "how to" book when it comes to transitioning.  It is really all about what you are comfortable doing.  And there are no timetables.  Some people jump right in; others take their time.

It's all good if you are able to cope with the dysphoria.

Hi Allie, welcome to the site! We are glad you have decided to join us!

Yes thank you, I've spent hours and hours reading. It is nice to see how many of you share the same pain, hurdles and fears. The way these have been conquered and the internal strength. There is so much love here, thank you for a great site

Welcome Allie!

I can tell you that since your wife supports you, you've already won one of the most difficult battles many of us have already faced. Having good support, even if it's only your wife, makes a world of difference.

Amy