I don't know that "hun" is misgendering. Maybe to you it might feel this way, but depending on someone's background they might call a guy this. I was called this in some store but funny thing so was the (cis) guy (I think) ahead of me. Can be where someone comes from for instance the south (assuming you are from the US).

--Jay

Quote from: aleon515 on August 07, 2013, 08:53:43 PM
I don't know that "hun" is misgendering. Maybe to you it might feel this way, but depending on someone's background they might call a guy this. I was called this in some store but funny thing so was the (cis) guy (I think) ahead of me. Can be where someone comes from for instance the south (assuming you are from the US).

--Jay

I agree.  I get called hun, honey, sugar, sweetheart, etc by older female customers at work occasionally.  I know they see me as nothing but male, it's just a southern thing.

Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on August 07, 2013, 09:55:30 PM
I agree.  I get called hun, honey, sugar, sweetheart, etc by older female customers at work occasionally.  I know they see me as nothing but male, it's just a southern thing.

I got called those things a few times when I was in the States and I know that they all saw me as male too.

I also had a woman here who kept calling me "dear" and I swore she was misgendering me and was debating whether or not to correct her. But then, the next time, she called me "sir" a ton of times so it turns out she calls everyone dear.

everything passes about you dom. go to an optometrist, i think your eyes are broken

You look like any dude with long hair and a leather jacket. If people are misgendering you, blow them off or get offended. You couldn't look female right now, even if you tried, and strangers approaching you calling you female pronouns should be dealt with post haste. There's absolutely no reason to tolerate that, regardless of who they are.

Sorry it took me so long to reply back. I've just been so tired from work. The job is over though. It was only 3 days.

@AlexanderC: How often is "once in a while"?  Because cis guys, especially with hair on the longer side, get misgendered what I would call every once in a while.

I don't get mis-gendered a whole lot. Most of the time nobody uses pro-nouns so I have no idea how they see me. I Think most of the time people can't tell whether I'm male or female. Once in a great while I will get mis-gendered. So it doesn't happen too often. It just upsets me when it does b/c I know I haven't had any major changes.

If I shave, I know I pass a lot less and I have a lot less confidence b/c I look less masculine without the facial hair, So I try to keep the facial hair.


And don't be surprised if people you think don't know you do know you, because I've lost count the number of times people have come up to me and spoke to me whom I really don't know.  And they definitely know me, because they'd ask me how I was doing after an op I had on my hand a few years ago, or now they'll ask whether I've got my job or not, they know me, only I don't know them.

I think there might be one guy that knows I'm trans b/c I used to (and still do) go into his store pre-T and he knew what I looked like and even going in he used the right pronouns. It's the places I don't go in too often is where I get mis-gendered.

Quote from: Liminal Stranger on August 06, 2013, 11:33:51 AM
Have to agree with everyone else here, man. You pass perfectly fine. Alex has a point too, I know plenty of long-haired guys who get mis-gendered in public regardless of how masculine of a face they have. It's a quick assumption some people make without thinking when they see longer hair. I wouldn't worry too much about it, just relax and talk about whatever is on your mind. We're not here to judge you, not in the critical sense. We're here to help give you tips on how to pass better, but the only thing I see is that you've got a bit of a confidence issue. Other than that you're fine.

Thanks. 

Quote from: LearnedHand on August 06, 2013, 05:42:25 PM
Dominic you look great! I second what Nygeel and a few other above have said, you just seem tense and not too confident (judging from seeing your posts over a few months). I don't see what's keeping you from passing 100% of the time. Maybe there's something about your lower body or the way you walk or something that we couldn't see in the videos? Though your voice, facial hair, and face should dispel any doubts about your gender.

If you're looking to loose some weight, we have a few members here who've lost a lot of weight since going on T who might be able to give you some good pointers. Though IMO from seeing you in the videos, I think 50 pounds seems like too much to loose, you don't really look heavy from the part of you I could see in the video.

Thanks. My facial hair isn't the greatest though. In the video, it may appear darker/fuller or whatever b/c of the lighting, but really, it's scrappy and patchy on one side. I hate the way it grows. It just doesn't grow right or look right.


Yeah, I can use some pointers for weight loss. When I was working for the 3 days I actually lost weight b/c it was such a physical job, I was constantly moving lifting heavy boxes and bags and stuff and sweating all day long. But I think I gained in back in a day b/c I didn't really do much today. When I work I can lose the weight. But since I can't get a job, I'm not active and I put on the weight. So hopefully when I get a full time job I can lose weight again.

Quote from: LearnedHand on August 06, 2013, 06:44:59 PM
Hey man I wouldn't worry too much. I don't think most people even think about trans people on a daily basis, so I doubt it even crossed their minds. Most people don't know what hormones can really do for people.    Btw, I was thinking you looked like you were between 25 and 27 years old.

Btw, glad you're working now, hope you get a job that you enjoy better though. 

Okay, cool. 

Really? Most people think I'm about 18 or so. I get honey, hun, sweety, Dear, etc... from people. I get sir too sometimes, it always depends of the person.

The job is over. It was only for 3 days. Hopefully something comes up. The guy that I worked for said that if a position opens up at his company he said would hire me.

Quote from: Frank on August 06, 2013, 10:26:43 PM
They're not. People are too wrapped up in their own drama. Not to mention half of society is busy staring at their phones. I was invited to hang with some dudes in public and chat about girls (which I don't give a flying hoot about) and they suspected nothing and I'm not on T.

Okay, cool.

That's awesome you were invited to hang with some guys and chat about girls and they suspected nothing and your not on T, that's really awesome!



Thanks guys for all the replies. I'd reply to all but it takes too long so I tried to group it all up.