I just came out to my parents recently but I haven't started transitioning yet (they are NOT supportive) except for a shorter -but feminine- haircut and more male-oriented clothes. But I feel ashamed and guilty about leaving behind the person everybody thought I was- the all pink, long haired girl that started school in a dress even though I felt so much better ending it in a pair of shorts and a plain gray t-shirt. I know my parents miss that person; they've bluntly told me so, saying things like "You've always been our little girl" and "I miss my daughter" and "I want my daughter back; I already have a son." It's making me almost apprehensive to be the person I know I am because my parents can't, or won't, love their son- only their daughter. I feel ashamed about who I am anyway, but this is just making it worse and I don't know what to feel. Mix that with the fact that I'm hopelessly stuck between the anatomy I was born with and the gender I am, and my whole life is a big swirly vortex of not passing and feeling like a freak and wondering how I'm going to explain why I got so masculine (on the outside- the inside was way ahead of the outside on that one) over the summer to all my friends. I'm not ready to come out to them but what am I supposed to say? And I've got puberty (which I'm already part way through) on one side and "I want my daughter back" on the other and I don't know how to deal with this anymore!! I'm so lost...

Help?

Are your parents supportive of talking to a gender therapist to help you work through these issues?

[Edit: I went and looked at some of your earlier posts, I see they are not allowing the therapist to do his job]

Unfortunately I don't have any other suggestions besides therapy.  Sorry, I hope your parents come around to accept you and allow you to get the help you need.  Try your best to hang in there, many people waited until they were much older than you to even think about talking to their parents and trying to do something about it, so at least you have youth on your side, time to discover yourself and things will eventually get better even though its hard to believe

And keep coming here.  You'll always find support and understanding here.

I understand what your going through I came out to my parents when I was fifteen. And let me say you have nothing to feel guilty about you were born this way. Your parents are going to have to come to grips with this and they probably will. But just give it time its way to early to say if they are going to be completely unsupportive of you. I really do feel for you I know its hard but please try to stay positive .

Your parents are going to be OK. I know my grandmother, for example, misses having a little girl  (she had 4 daughters, but I was the only "granddaughter" she had) and my transition has been hard for her. And I think even though my mom isn't a "girly girl" she misses having a daughter too.

But they came to see that I am still the same person inside. I don't do girly things or relate to them in the way they hoped, but they can see that I am happier now. And they know they would rather have me in their life as a guy than not at all.

It took them over 3 years, but they're finding their way. Your parents may take some time, and may say some things you will have to work really hard to forgive. But I find more often than not, parents come around.

Your parents responded in a rather expected way. They probably did not see it coming at all, so of course they'll 'miss their daughter' and the likes. It will take time for them to get used to the idea. Transexuality is still a rare 'condition', and it is usually the last thing parents suspect (the first thing that usually jumps to mind is being gay, or having other issues, not being trans).

That being said, it is important that you keep communicating with your parents. You seem like a very eloquent person, especially when considering your age, so talk to your parents. Ask them if they really want to hold on to the lie you have been living. Ask them why they do not with to see the real you, or want you to be happy. After all, no one wants to live a lie, not being him or herself.

It may also help to educate your parents a little. I do not know what they know about transsexuality, but most people have the wrong idea with it. Think of crossdressers and the like. Nothing wrong with that, but it creates the wrong image for transsexuals. We do not cross dress. We do not want to be a boy. We -are- boys. Maybe show them videos or pictures of successfull trans guys, and edcuate them a little on how things would go, starting with a therapist.

Good luck with this! Parents are usually one of the hardest hurdles in the process to overcome.