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Mass email to the people I work with

Started by Anna++, August 09, 2013, 08:26:31 AM

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Anna++

I say "work with" since I see these people every day, but we're all at different companies and we just happen to be sharing a clubhouse for everything.  Here is what I said:

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Hello <Organization name>!

I've already talked to some of you about this, but I feel it's time to open up to everybody - I'm transgender.  I've been taking hormones for a little over three months now and this is easily the best I've felt in a really long time!  I'll be switching up my presentation next week, but I thought it would be best to give you all time to prepare and ask questions first.  To get you started, here are a few of the more common questions I've heard:

Q: How long have you known?
A: It's been about 12 or 13 years, and for most of that time I thought it was phase I was going through that would end one day.  I started doing on and off research into "Why do I think the way I do?" in early 2009.

Q: What should we call you, and how did you pick a new name?
A: I looked up "Bryan" in a list of popular baby names for 1988 (http://www.babycenter.com/popularBabyNames.htm?startIndex=40&year=1988) and I found "Anna" at the same rank (#54) in the female column.

Q: What gender pronouns should we use for you?
A: Female (she, her, ...), thank you!

Q: Will you be using the same email address?
A: No, I'm transitioning everything over to <new@email>

Thanks in advance for being understanding!  This issue has taken me the better part of 25 years to understand and come to terms with, so I'll do my best to be lenient while everybody adjusts.

Anna

Now I wait for the response... one of my friends here has already talked me into going dress shopping for Monday.  This is going to be exciting!
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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Heather

Congratulations Anna! This is a really big step I'm happy for you girl!  ;D
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Anna++

Thanks!  I wasn't planning on this to be full time, but I guess we'll see what happens after the first few days?
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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Antonia J

inspirational! Thanks for sharing.  Did HR or anyone have to approve? Are they doing separate communication after?

You rock, Anna :)
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Anna++

Quote from: Antonia J on August 09, 2013, 08:44:59 AM
inspirational! Thanks for sharing.  Did HR or anyone have to approve? Are they doing separate communication after?

You rock, Anna :)

There is no HR people here.  Everybody works remotely and for different companies than I do (well, there are three people here that work for my company but I've already talked to one).  Think of us as a bunch of remote workers that don't want to be lonely working from home :)

I should probably find a way to tell my boss before Monday, but he's on vacation this week and my 1:1 meeting with him is first thing in the morning.  This could be awkward at first if I succeed in my goal to find a dress!
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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Heather

Quote from: Anna! on August 09, 2013, 08:35:33 AM
Thanks!  I wasn't planning on this to be full time, but I guess we'll see what happens after the first few days?
You may not be planning on it Anna but it seems you are! So celebrate girl!!!  ;)
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Anna++

I'll find something to celebrate - yesterday I even decided to order something alcoholic so I could hand over my ID one more time without feeling awkward about it.

More information on coworking for the curious: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coworking
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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Ltl89

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bethany

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SaveMeJeebus

Quote from: Anna! on August 09, 2013, 08:26:31 AM
Q: What should we call you, and how did you pick a new name?
A: I looked up "Bryan" in a list of popular baby names for 1988 (http://www.babycenter.com/popularBabyNames.htm?startIndex=40&year=1988) and I found "Anna" at the same rank (#54) in the female column.

This is awesome, Anna. Be sensible celebrating  :P Also, it's cool to know where you got your name from.
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Anna++

It went really well!  Here are some of the replies I got:

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I know we've had a discussion in another email chain, but I just again wanted to say thank you for sharing this with us and providing some initial information on your feelings and struggles.  I also think you had a very clever way of picking your new first name.  Thank you for leaning on and trusting us.

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I second <author of the above quote>'s sentiments, Anna.  I look forward to seeing you and others when I return from Nicaragua in September!

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What <first guy> said. Thanks for your honesty and courage.

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+1 to all the positive sentiments here. Thanks so much for sharing with us!

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Agreed. Thanks for sharing and congratulations!

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Add me to all the positive comments and congrats.  Thank you for letting us know what is important to you.


As for celebrating ... I just finished baking cookies to share on Monday!
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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ford

Wow,with this and your parents you have really experienced the extremes in terms of acceptance/vs lack thereof with your coming out.

This looks so promising, congrats!

I love reading about your experiences because your positive attitude is really inspiring. Just wanted you to know that :)

"Hey you, sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is!"
~Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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Danielle Emmalee

Quote from: ford on August 10, 2013, 09:59:47 PM
I love reading about your experiences because your positive attitude is really inspiring. Just wanted you to know that :)

This goes for me too
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
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Anna++

Thanks!  I like the accepting responses better :)

My life is much better now, and realizing that helps me to stay positive.  It's hard to ignore that I'm genuinely happy with myself now!
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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Heather

Quote from: Anna! on August 10, 2013, 10:11:11 PM
Thanks!  I like the accepting responses better :)

My life is much better now, and realizing that helps me to stay positive.  It's hard to ignore that I'm genuinely happy with myself now!
I'm happy for you Anna you haven't let the problems you had coming out to your parents deter you from coming out to people. Your a strong person most people myself included if we faced what you had to go through it would be a major setback. You've earned your happiness girl go enjoy it! :) 
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Anna++

Quote from: Heather on August 10, 2013, 10:25:46 PM
I'm happy for you Anna you haven't let the problems you had coming out to your parents deter you from coming out to people. Your a strong person most people myself included if we faced what you had to go through it would be a major setback. You've earned your happiness girl go enjoy it! :)

It's kind of funny - every time I had a bad encounter with my parents I ended up pushing myself farther!  But I couldn't have done it all without everybody here and all my real-life friends.  I've never had to lean on people for support as much as I have over the last several months.  You are all awesome!
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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Heather

Quote from: Anna! on August 10, 2013, 10:31:00 PM
It's kind of funny - every time I had a bad encounter with my parents I ended up pushing myself farther! 
Actually Anna I handled the situation with my mom the same way. The more my mom would try to put me down the more determined to do this I became. I actually joked with my therapist that my mom thought she was scaring me back in the closet but she didn't realize she was just forcing me out further. There would have been no way I would have presented as myself in public pre hrt if it wasn't for her telling me I couldn't be a woman. 
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Ltl89

Quote from: Heather on August 10, 2013, 10:56:50 PM
Actually Anna I handled the situation with my mom the same way. The more my mom would try to put me down the more determined to do this I became. I actually joked with my therapist that my mom thought she was scaring me back in the closet but she didn't realize she was just forcing me out further. There would have been no way I would have presented as myself in public pre hrt if it wasn't for her telling me I couldn't be a woman. 

Quote from: Anna! on August 10, 2013, 10:31:00 PM
It's kind of funny - every time I had a bad encounter with my parents I ended up pushing myself farther!  But I couldn't have done it all without everybody here and all my real-life friends.  I've never had to lean on people for support as much as I have over the last several months.  You are all awesome!

I have to learn from you two.  My mom's abuse has taken it's toll on me,lol.

Congrats Anna.  It sounds like you work with awesome people.  However, I think I deserve some of those delicious cookies too. :D
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Anna++

Quote from: learningtolive on August 10, 2013, 11:54:07 PM
I have to learn from you two.  My mom's abuse has taken it's toll on me,lol.

Sadly, I feel as if I've been pushed away from my parents through all of this :(.

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Congrats Anna.  It sounds like you work with awesome people.  However, I think I deserve some of those delicious cookies too. :D

Come to my house to pick out a few!  I'm happy to share :)
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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