So years ago when I was in School the Lunch Lady (Grumpy person fyi so not Lady like) told me how I should sit because my Body's gender is a Male's body. I sat like a girl does with my legs crossed and she forced me not to sit that way anymore. I "think" she said boys don't sit that way and that only girls do." So I didn't sit with my legs crossed and for YEARS didn't put one leg on top of the other for "supposedly" how a boy sits. (So it looks like a 4 if you raise the last leg into the air) Now I am trying to learn how to sit the way I used too but it's somewhat tough and feels like the blood flow is being cut off and sometimes goes numb. Any tips? Also I'd like to know, is there REALLY such a thing as for how a boy sits and how a girl sits or is that just total bull? If it's bull then I wonder how come society (Or at least that Lunch Lady) thinks its gender based?

Also when I was even younger I was for whatever FOOLISH and BAKA reason my teacher didn't like me writing with my left hand (Yes I was born left handed) so she forced me to write with my right hand. Thanks to that I have a hard time writing with my left hand and writing with my right hand unless I write slowly makes it look sloppy. (Though it has improved over the years recently) The GOOD news here is I actually can use both my left AND right hands to do various things while being able to use the other hand to do the same thing. (Though writing and drawing is very hard to do with the left hand, drawing might be near impossible at this point, haven't tried it yet) So slowly over my life I've occasionally tried writing with my left hand in hopes of getting it fully back while still having my right hand be able to do the same things still. Any tips for getting my left hand back to what it once was? (Btw I was told if I recall right that when I wrote with my left hand it was beautiful writing and not sloppy)

Well, that was rude of her. I don't know why a grumpy lunch lady feels she needs to go out of her way and approach a student on the way they sit.  I don't know the answer to how to get back in the habit of crossing your legs without cutting off blood circulation but as far as if the way a male or a female sits is gender based? I think so. I can only base my answer off of my experiences with being fussed at for sitting like a male, others might disagree.  Women are brought up wearing skirts and dresses which, have very limited practical sitting positions. To keep from showing what's underneath, they have to keep their legs crossed or together. Though I've seen girls cross their ankles or keep their thighs touching, it seems people look at crossing the legs to be a more proper and lady-like position. Seeing men don't usually wear clothing that might show undergarments there's no need to keep their legs together. So females are mostly seen with that sitting position. Obviously it made people believe that only women should cross their legs.
A few times when I've sat in a more guyish position in front of my mother she'd point it out to me saying it's not lady-like. (And this is when I was wearing pants) My knees were farther apart while I was leaning back in my seat. It just clicked in my head that a female sitting with her knees apart looked a bit vulgar so I sat up. So while a guy looks relaxed when splayed in his seat, women look strangely seductive no matter what they're wearing. Don't know if that made sense.  There's no reason why a male shouldn't cross his legs, it's just frowned upon for him to take up a feminine posture. 

Um, I guess to retrain your hand to write with the left is practice and give it time. Maybe practice writing with your left hand for a given time each day. Your hand should pick up speed when it gets used to writing. 

Shana-chan, a proper lady only crosses her legs at the ankles.

When I was about 6 or 7 I was in a pastor's house sitting down with some other men around as well as my sister.  I sat with my legs open and the pastor told me not to do that because girls don't sit that way (and I was wearing pants).  I felt so embarrassed as the men were snickering at me while sitting with their legs wide open.  She was an older lady so I guess part of that had to do with culture.  I am obese so it's hard for me to sit with my legs crossed.  They naturally go wide open when I sit.  As for cutting off blood supply, I'm not sure what to say other than keep your legs constantly moving and stand up frequently.

I wish I could physically cross my legs my thighs are so big I just can't

Malachite, someone told me that too! I was like 14 years old then, and felt a bit ashamed and 'wrong' for a while, until I was like "Wtf is that for total BS!" and decided just to sit how I like, which is sorta 'big' and spread-legged. It's just more comfortable than being scrunched up in a corner, legs close, arms close, everything close. Really, HOW can women sit comfortably like that? (I think the answer is NOT! Lol)

They DO say that girls shouldn't sit spread-legged (it's 'indecent' (speaking of bs. I have never seen a guy peer THROUGH my pants. Now, THAT would be scary!) and guys shouldn't sit legs-crossed (my dad does that all the time btw, and he is not gay nor an feminine guy. I more often see older guys crossing legs than younger ones tho'. But WHY NOT!? Firstly; you ARE no man, secondly; even if you were, if you prefer sitting like that, SO WHAT!)

Quote from: Erik Ezrin on August 11, 2013, 02:24:09 AM
Malachite, someone told me that too! I was like 14 years old then, and felt a bit ashamed and 'wrong' for a while, until I was like "Wtf is that for total BS!" and decided just to sit how I like, which is sorta 'big' and spread-legged. It's just more comfortable than being scrunched up in a corner, legs close, arms close, everything close. Really, HOW can women sit comfortably like that? (I think the answer is NOT! Lol)

They DO say that girls shouldn't sit spread-legged (it's 'indecent' (speaking of bs. I have never seen a guy peer THROUGH my pants. Now, THAT would be scary!) and guys shouldn't sit legs-crossed (my dad does that all the time btw, and he is not gay nor an feminine guy. I more often see older guys crossing legs than younger ones tho'. But WHY NOT!? Firstly; you ARE no man, secondly; even if you were, if you prefer sitting like that, SO WHAT!)

And to add to that, some strong, rich and powerful buisnessmen cross their legs as it's glorified in the media here.  I don't see how the way a person sit should be based upon gender.

Last time I was in the doctor's waiting room, I was amused to see all the women but two of us studiously cross their legs the same way (and in the same direction - it reminded me of a Buzby Berkely routine) . Me and another more dykey young woman were sat there however we wanted to sit, and the world is still turning. It's of course up to each of us how she chooses to sit. I had that "left-handedness is evil" thing at school too, including in the dining hall.

a proper lady never crosses her legs. sit with a straight back, knees together, and ankles not too far from each other.

it's generally your clothing that decides how you should or shouldn't sit. in a narrow skirt, it's not that easy to sit wide legged. if you wear reindeer hide leggings with the hairs on, you definitely don't want to ruin them by crossing your legs.

the ladylike way to bend down to pick something up, is to bend your knees, one foot a little in front of the other, no spreading your legs. works great with narrow or short skirts. remember to keep your back straight, when one knee almost touches the ground, your hand will also reach without bending forward much. also good when wearing a corset.


other than that, do whatever you want.
when i tried to conform by sitting more like girls do (crossed legs), my mom told me not to. it's not good for your legs. sit comfortably. the most comfortable way for the body is with a straight back, slouching hurts the back and is more tiring for people with a well trained back.

 

My little daughter at age 9 also says me not to sit crossing my legs, because that posture is too girly. She is stricter than her mom on my clothes and appearance.

barbie~~

So, there are lots of rules about ladylike posture (i.e never cross your legs, only cross you legs at the ankles etc.)  However unless you are Kate Middleton, or Michelle Obama, most of these "Rules" don't really apply in practice.  Nevertheless if you want to appear more female, body language is a HUGE part of it.  Since one of my hobbies is cartooning, one of the first things that you learn is that 70-80% of the story you are trying to communicate with illustrations comes from body language.  This is equally true in real life.  Here are my personal guidelines for feminine body language.

1. POSTURE POSTURE POSTURE.  Sit up straight.  Whenever you are in a room full of people sitting (class room, waiting room, etc.) Notice that as a rule most of the women don't slouch.  Slouching in your chair comes across as very masculine.

2. Crossing your legs (European style, i.e. knees together) is generally pretty unisex.  The key to making it appear feminine is hand and arm placement and posture.  If you cross your legs, but keep your arms open and slouch a bit in the chair (think Sharon Stone, from the famous scene in Basic Instinct) it actually comes across as a more masculine posture.  However is you sit up straight and bring your elbows in, it will totally feminize this posture.

3. Knees apart is always masculine in appearance.  I think this is because the shape of the male pelvis makes it slightly more difficult for men keep their knees together comfortably when sitting.  Try to keep your knees as close together as you comfortably can.  I have found that squeezing a small exercise ball  between my legs several times a day naturally makes it more comfortable to keep your knees closer together.

4.  Women are generally more flexible than men, and it totally shows in their body language.  Doing stretching exercises every day makes a dramatic difference in feminizing your body language naturally. 

J.

Thanks everyone for all the advice and sharing some of your stories too. Makes me feel a bit better.