I understand what your talking about.
I've been a loner all my life!!
But, dealing with gender issues, helps in breaking this lonelyness.
You become more comfortable with yourself which helps other be more
comfortable with you.
I just recently found a real live friend.
I never taught it would happen.
But, in the last year, It has become more and more
probable as my I've discovered more and more about
myself instead of running away.
Until, then, we will be your internet friends, not quite as good,
but still OK

Take Care Sydney.