Just found a good one for not giving out a phone number...

Tell them "I don't give out my number" or "I don't give out my number to people I don't know very well".

If they say "How am I supposed to get to know you if I don't have your number?"

Then you say "I guess we'll just have to wait until we run into each other again" and maybe add "It's something I do to protect my safety"

Quote from: Jennygirl on August 12, 2013, 01:43:17 PM
Just found a good one for not giving out a phone number...

Tell them "I don't give out my number" or "I don't give out my number to people I don't know very well".

If they say "How am I supposed to get to know you if I don't have your number?"

Then you say "I guess we'll just have to wait until we run into each other again" and maybe add "It's something I do to protect my safety"

I don't have THAT problem if someone has gotten so forceful hand I have to give a phone number I just give them my card, it directly states that I am a lesbian on it - not one single man that I have given my card to has called me back - I am certain every single one has looked at the card and thrown it directly in the trash 

Quote from: vegie271 on August 12, 2013, 01:55:30 PM



I don't have THAT problem if someone has gotten so forceful hand I have to give a phone number I just give them my card, it directly states that I am a lesbian on it - not one single man that I have given my card to has called me back - I am certain every single one has looked at the card and thrown it directly in the trash 

No this guy yesterday thought I was a dyke. I had androgynous cordoroy pants on and a hat so I prolly gave off that vibe. I guess I look gay. I'm not. At all. At first I thought he knew I was a guy bet then it became apparent what he meant.

really I feel like an idiot for letting this happen. I just feel weak and defenseless. I understand how a woman would get raped and not say anything now. This situation obviously is not comaparable but I think the feeling weak and unable to do something is similar.

I mean I just need to watch it because of some guys are finding me that attractive that stuff like this happens and half the guys I walk past feel the need to chat me up, I could get in a bad situation one day and need to be able to cut it off before it starts. It's great I pass so well and that I am pretty to some people, but it's hard for me to see it and it catches me off guard. I was completely caught off guard yesterday.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on August 12, 2013, 02:14:05 PM
No this guy yesterday thought I was a dyke. I had androgynous cordoroy pants on and a hat so I prolly gave off that vibe. I guess I look gay. I'm not. At all. At first I thought he knew I was a guy bet then it became apparent what he meant.

really I feel like an idiot for letting this happen. I just feel weak and defenseless. I understand how a woman would get raped and not say anything now. This situation obviously is not comaparable but I think the feeling weak and unable to do something is similar.

I mean I just need to watch it because of some guys are finding me that attractive that stuff like this happens and half the guys I walk past feel the need to chat me up, I could get in a bad situation one day and need to be able to cut it off before it starts. It's great I pass so well and that I am pretty to some people, but it's hard for me to see it and it catches me off guard. I was completely caught off guard yesterday.

It took me a while to adjust to the fact that men find me attractive also - I get the idea that If they are straight they with go after anything they think has a vagina - especially if you are a lesbian - you see I AM a lesbian and I am an OUT lesbian - this actually bring on advances of certain men either 1) can I watch you and your girlfriend or B) will you have 3 some with me and MY girlfriend

this might be why he came after you, they do do this - I get a lot of this - one guy came after me so much he ended up grabbing me on the street one day & the police did nothing about it. (it was after this I bought my stun gun)

Quote from: Joanna Dark on August 12, 2013, 02:14:05 PM
really I feel like an idiot for letting this happen. I just feel weak and defenseless. I understand how a woman would get raped and not say anything now. This situation obviously is not comaparable but I think the feeling weak and unable to do something is similar.

Cant You get angry on them? Or at least try to create mentally disgusting image of theirs with such qualities which should trigger extreme disgust, anger and fury (demonise them). Once the anger is in, You should be on the right track, sending different vibe, plus it might resonate with what is left of T in our systems - You know that "fight or flight" mode. 

Jab to throat followed by a rear naked choke. Usually does the trick. If someone touches me, and it is unwanted, all bets are off.

And yes, I've have punched a guy for touching me w/o asking. I might be a girl... but I sure as heck don't hit like one. 

I hate punches, btw. One moron once tried to headbutt me, but his intentions were so obvious that my forearm and elbow met his jaw and K.O. him out... and I was trying to be careful... (I used to play with those cylindrical boxing heavybags - I could barely move them with my punches, but my elbow sent them dangling in their chains each and everytime, and I was barely under 80kg then).
So, if any moron now would put his face too close with whatever bad intentions he might have... I can still do that.

Quote from: -Emily- on August 12, 2013, 05:03:38 PM
Cant You get angry on them? Or at least try to create mentally disgusting image of theirs with such qualities which should trigger extreme disgust, anger and fury (demonise them). Once the anger is in, You should be on the right track, sending different vibe, plus it might resonate with what is left of T in our systems - You know that "fight or flight" mode.

actually it is hard - cis men are faster - usually at least with me - bigger - and they are certainly more aggressive - it is the reason for the stun gun now. and why I am at this point so angry and get triggered so easily - when I got assaulted and raped the police just laughed it off (only 3% of rapes get convictions)

Quote from: -Emily- on August 12, 2013, 05:03:38 PM
Cant You get angry on them? Or at least try to create mentally disgusting image of theirs with such qualities which should trigger extreme disgust, anger and fury (demonise them). Once the anger is in, You should be on the right track, sending different vibe, plus it might resonate with what is left of T in our systems - You know that "fight or flight" mode.

I have trouble becoming angry. I actually don't think I can anymore. I just get upset. But i can certainly show someone I'm upset. But I'm sure if something progressed too far I would get angry. I hope. The only time in my life I could get angry is when drunk.

Quote from: vegie271 on August 12, 2013, 05:46:25 PM

When I got assaulted and raped the police just laughed it off (only 3% of rapes get convictions)

That's horrid. The police in Philly are much better. The one encounter I had with them they were so so so nice to me. It really changed my perception of the police. They were mad at first but that's because they thought I was being crude by saying I'm a man. Then they thought I must be post-op. Finally I showed them my ID and stuff and told them I am a pre-op transsexual and they believed me and asked what pro-nouns I wanted used and if I wanted to be called a different name. After that I started presenting female as I figured if I had to prove I was male to five police officers I must be passing. I'm really sorry that happened to you.

Quote from: JennX on August 12, 2013, 05:33:59 PM
Jab to throat followed by a rear naked choke. Usually does the trick. If someone touches me, and it is unwanted, all bets are off.

And yes, I've have punched a guy for touching me w/o asking. I might be a girl... but I sure as heck don't hit like one. 

seconded.  RNC for the win!

Quote from: Joanna Dark on August 12, 2013, 05:56:24 PM
I have trouble becoming angry. I actually don't think I can anymore. I just get upset. But i can certainly show someone I'm upset. But I'm sure if something progressed too far I would get angry. I hope. The only time in my life I could get angry is when drunk.

That's horrid. The police in Philly are much better. The one encounter I had with them they were so so so nice to me. It really changed my perception of the police. They were mad at first but that's because they thought I was being crude by saying I'm a man. Then they thought I must be post-op. Finally I showed them my ID and stuff and told them I am a pre-op transsexual and they believed me and asked what pro-nouns I wanted used and if I wanted to be called a different name. After that I started presenting female as I figured if I had to prove I was male to five police officers I must be passing. I'm really sorry that happened to you.

not here - my ID reads F ok - my name is proper on my birth certificate - I went to court and did everything right 6 years ago! - I am only male on my birth certificate and at the time was male on federal forms (now I am female federally even)

even so he misgendered me on the the report stated it was a male on male attack - basically I was just a cross dresser to him

this is not the first time I have been hated upon by this department

Quote from: vegie271 on August 12, 2013, 07:37:19 PM



not here - my ID reads F ok - my name is proper on my birth certificate - I went to court and did everything right 6 years ago! - I am only male on my birth certificate and at the time was male on federal forms (now I am female federally even)

even so he misgendered me on the the report stated it was a male on male attack - basically I was just a cross dresser to him

this is not the first time I have been hated upon by this department

Well I hope you can move soon. You don't deserve that. No one does. I'm so sorry. How horrid.

Ignoring is the first step.
If he tries to touch you, etc, speak out loud, that will draw attention on him and he will leave.

Quote from: Saffron on August 13, 2013, 12:20:16 PM
Ignoring is the first step.
If he tries to touch you, etc, speak out loud, that will draw attention on him and he will leave.

The one thing I neglected to mention is that this was in a bad part of town that I have to travel through. The one time I bi-passed it I got stopped by the police as stop-and-frisk is enforced here. They wouldn't frisk me though and started calling a female officer. Blah, blah, blah. I convinced them I was a guy and then they asked why I did't just walk the regular way and I said because when I do I get propositioned all the time. If it was just words, I wouldn't care. But this isn't the first time this has happened. There was another time and this guy was all frisky but I managed to snake my way out of it. What I usually do is just walk faster.

That being said I should try to just ignore men. Just walk through and don't acknowledge anyone. I don't have to go thru here much so maybe it is academic. I think in a couple months I'll never have to pass here again!!!! woo hoo. If you want to know where I am at, look up Kensington and Somerset. If you look it up, i think a lot of people will realize why I worry about passing so much. I'm sure it gets annoying to some posters.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on August 13, 2013, 01:02:30 PM
The one thing I neglected to mention is that this was in a bad part of town that I have to travel through. The one time I bi-passed it I got stopped by the police as stop-and-frisk is enforced here. They wouldn't frisk me though and started calling a female officer. Blah, blah, blah. I convinced them I was a guy and then they asked why I did't just walk the regular way and I said because when I do I get propositioned all the time. If it was just words, I wouldn't care. But this isn't the first time this has happened. There was another time and this guy was all frisky but I managed to snake my way out of it. What I usually do is just walk faster.

That being said I should try to just ignore men. Just walk through and don't acknowledge anyone. I don't have to go thru here much so maybe it is academic. I think in a couple months I'll never have to pass here again!!!! woo hoo. If you want to know where I am at, look up Kensington and Somerset. If you look it up, i think a lot of people will realize why I worry about passing so much. I'm sure it gets annoying to some posters.

once the fourth and fifth amendment go out I leave a place period - if I am assumed to a a criminal I do not stay in a place period, I never even talk to the police in our town, when one stops me my first question is "am I being detained" if he says no I say "thank you may I go now" and he says "yes" and I leave, after my rape and the subsequent consequences I STOPPED being cooperative with them! I never call them  I never do anything they want!

Quote from: Joanna Dark on August 13, 2013, 01:02:30 PM
I convinced them I was a guy and then they asked why I did't just walk the regular way and I said because when I do I get propositioned all the time.

Wait, what?

1. What's walking the normal way?
2. People hit on you because of the way you walk?
3. Wait, the police arrested you because you walked weird to them? Lol, don't they have a job to do?

Quote from: A on August 13, 2013, 09:49:57 PM
Wait, what?

1. What's walking the normal way?
2. People hit on you because of the way you walk?
3. Wait, the police arrested you because you walked weird to them? Lol, don't they have a job to do?

I should have wrote that sentence better. I wasn't arrested. I was adjusting myself when I thought no one was looking. But the police were looking. I was on a main street but I walked a different route (that was out of the way) to avoid being propositioned as I wasn't in the mood. They stopped me because they thought I was shoving drugs in my imaginary vagina.

So it did have nothing to do with the way I walk. But actually my BF did say he saw me from afar and said I walk really femininely and that I look very approachable and pleasant and cute with an emphasis on pleasant. It was the whole reason he wanted to talk to me. So I think maybe the way I carry myself does draw men for some reason. It drew him. And I met him near the same place so if guys just didn't hit on me at all I'd be a lot less happy right now.

Sometimes I write and it makes sense to me but no one else lol sorry bout dat!

I see. It makes a bit more sense, but still those policemen were rather paranoid, eh?

And you make me wonder about how I walk. Because of how my feet are weird and I need ortheses for it, apparently I walk really weird according to my mother. I wonder if I come off as a weirdo. Honestly I don't notice anything weird about how I walk. x.x

Well today I was waiting for the El train and this guy starts staring at me intently. I think I'm clocked. Then I say "What?" And he says "You know what. You're sexy as fu*k. You have a boyfriend?" So I say kinda because i kinda have a boyfriend but it's complicated. It was probably the wrong answer but it wouldn't have matter. He then proceeds to tell me again how sexy I am and how hot my little perky tits are and how tight my cute lil butt is and all this other stuff. I mean yeah it was very flattering. He then asks me to get a drink. I tell I don't think si cause I'd feel guilty about my BF trying to be nice. He then says he doesn't give a F*** about my BF and that he wants to tke me back to his place and F*** my brains out. That I'm the sexiest little thing. So I move away from him but he moves next to me again and behind me and starts grabbing my butt. So I move away and tell him to stop. The train comes. I get one and he tries to sit next to me but I sat next to this girl.

So now I'm scared. I text my BF to tell him Im frightened but he is on a bus going to see his parents in Scranton. So not much he can do. I get off the train and he follows me. Then as I am going thru the revolving gate he snakes his way into the same spoke (or whatever it'c called) as me. So I start walking faster and he tried to ge tme to slow down in this hallway where no one else is. Now I'm really scared cause I can easily be overpowered. But I make it outside and he again tels me to come get a drink with him. I again tell him I would feel too guilty and I don't want to. Now I want to run. But I just keep walking faster and finally he backs off and turns around.

I just don't understand how this keeps happening. I dealth with it a lot better today. And besides him grabbing my butt it was just a man being a man. I think he was a little tipsy or had been drinking. On the one hand, it makes me feel flattered that men find me this attractive. And apparently sexy. Guys say Hi to me all the time. They constantyl stare and smile. And yeah I love that I pass this well and can get men. But I really need a taser or something because I did better today not actively encouraging it by accident and the guy wasn't bad looking. But I did get really scared for a bit. Maybe I shouldn't have. Women do deal with this. I visit women only forums and this happens. Women get their ass grabbed. This is how guys are. Well some. I am happy that I did better today though. But it's obvioulsy going to keep happening and I need to be prepared.

I know some of you will think I should punch him or do this or that or go to the police. But I'm not going to go to the police unless someone does soemthing really unwarranted like grabbing my crotch or boobs. Yeah he grabbed my butt but I don't know. It was just a little pinch really.

But then I start to feel bad because I don't like hurting people's feelings or making someone feel unattractive. he did get this puppy dog look. The other thing is if I didn't have a boyfriend and he was just a little less creepy I would have got a drink.

But how do ya'll think I dealth with this situation today? I think I improved. But I guess this is what happens when you reach male fail mode and are cute (or sexy). I wans't even wearing a bra. Maybe that had something to do with it and I should stop doing that. Do you think that could be a reason. But then again I do like men and do like some of the attention just not the creepers.

I am always sorry to hear when people get really hit on like that.  This type of guy is immature, and lacks class.  If you have an ear piece with a cell phone you might try "Hello, 911 operator, I am being accosted by a rapist, or something like that.  Another is to say my boyfriend is a cop and he has a really bad temper.  Third, get a tazer or pepper spray. or a tazer that sprays pepper spray.  Just tell the cops you were in fear for your life and thought he was a sexual predator.  Take some self defense courses.