Hiii I'm Roxie. I'm 18, MTF, and I live in a suburb near Chicago, the only good thing about that is the trans community here, and that clinic that does informed consent is in Chicago.
Other than that it's not much fun around here xD
I've always felt like more of a girl and have stolen my mother's clothes to dress in pretty much since I could walk.
When I was about 13 I put a stop to it and thought, "You need to stop this, you're a freak, you're stuck being a guy forever so suck it up."
After years of denying the woman I really am, I went through a period of severe depression and drug abuse.
But after finally embracing the girl I am and stopped repressing who I am, my depression started going away and I wanted nothing to do with drugs anymore.
I ony came out to my parents about a month ago. So far they're surprisingly supportive.
I'm not able to get on hormones right now because my parents want to have a group meeting with me and my therapist (not gender therapist) first I think, and they're trying to make me pay for them myself. Which I'm not able to do, I don't have a dollar to my name, can't drive, and I'm unable to work because of crippling social anxiety I have when I'm forced to be in guy mode. If I could work, trust me I would.
In girl mode I would be just fine. If I was on hormones and more feminine, I'd happily be going to college and working.
I'm not able to be in girl mode in front of my parents and I can't leave the house in girl mode sadly. Right now it's a bit of a don't ask, don't tell thing with my parents. The only time I can dress is late at night and in the wee hours of the morning.
If I had the money and could drive, I'd be on hormones right now. Dx
Seeing all the gorgeous girls on here makes me really excited for hormones.
I'm pretty much a little bundle of stress and anxiety 24/7 because I'm not on hormones yet, I feel like a ticking time bomb because I'm absolutely terrified of my body getting more masculine and disgusting.
I'm on a low calorie diet rich in phytoestrogens and other natural estrogens, which is pretty much the only reason why I haven't had a nervous breakdown yet. It might not do much of anything but it gives me enough peace of mind to sleep at night.
So, ANYONE who has tips on feminizing myself while I wait to get on hormones, please please please share them with me, I'll love you foreverrr. Natural remedies, shaving tips, makeup, anything will be of help.
Anywhoooo, enough of the sob story. This is a really great supportive site(: I'm looking forward to spending time on here.
Have a good night!
XOXOXO Roxie