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Getting carded

Started by Suzie, July 02, 2007, 09:16:52 AM

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Suzie

Had a new experience yesterday.  So, I'm in my late 30's right and don't get carded too often, but once in a while it happens and I usually welcome it.  So, yesterday I'm out at a sporting event, dressed of course, and I get ID'd when I order a beer.  I show the woman my ID and she stared at it for quite a while.  Her eyes got really big ;)  She looks at me and I take off my sunglasses and flash her a big smile basically saying "yep, that's me all right".  She turned out to be very nice about it and complimented me on my looks for my age...and called me "dear".  Not positive she looked at the part marked "M" on my license, but judging by her reaction, I'm thinking Yes.

Anyways, just wanted to share that with you.  I didn't turn around to see if she was talking with the other bartender after I left, but I don't know why she would keep THAT a secret.

Have any of you had this happen and was the situation favorable/ugly?

Suzie

p.s.  Another good reason to take a more "updated" photo for my license.



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Sheila

I get a reverse of what happen to you, Suzie. I get carded for using my debit card, I don't mind. I think they want to see if I'm really female or not. I have everything changed over, but I still have male features that, some can be changed but most can't. I'm not going to worry about it though. Most of the time I never get asked for ID, but on rare occasions it happens. They ask for my ID and then they look at me for such a long time. Everytime it is some young saleslady. They always come back with, Thank you Ms Coats. I always say back thank you for checking my ID. I appreciate that you care. She usually looks at me kind of funny. Actually it is their job and I really do appreciate them taking the time to check.
Sheila
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Nick

I get carded when I cash checks...I'm waiting for the day they refuse to cash it, cause I look more male everyday  >:D
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gothique11

I get carded. Before I changed my ID in Dec, I'd actually get denied service, kicked out of bars, and other things -- even before I went full time, and was "guy looking" I would get the same. My old ID had me with a goatee (one of those attempts to be more man-like, which didn't work). Anyway, when I shaved I looked very angrogenous and -- yes, even wearing boy clothes and ect -- I'd be called ma'am from time to time.

So, anyway, I finally got the money together to get a new ID in Dec. A good idea, since I started living full time in Mid Aug.

I'd get carded and have very few problems.

And then, the other day I went to get some smokes (yeah, i know, bad grrl!) and I was carded. The guy looked at my ID for a long time. I kept thinking, "he's looking at the M, isn't he?"

"That's not you," he said, looking at me and then my card. "This is your older sister -- you're not this old!" At first, I thought we was playing around, but he wasn't. It seems the HRT has changed me a bit since Dec, but I didn't think that much. Of course, I look similiar, but I could see that one could say that the person in my picture could be my sister.

Anyway, after arguing with him, I got the smokes.

One thing that made me happy: even with the M on my ID which he looked hard at, he still said, "sister."
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Ms Bev

Yes, I've had a close call.  I was pulled over recently for a headlight out I was unaware of.  I didn't think the experience was amusing at all, as I don't even own any more male clothes, and am in the process of an official name change and gender change on my driver's license.  This cop turned out to be nice enough, but looked at my license the longest time.  He ran the license, and came back in about 5 minutes or so, handed it back with the light shining in my face, and said "this was just a warning". 
That's a warning, all right!  You get the wrong cop when you have the wrong ID, and you can be in a world of trouble.  Hopefully, I'll have this issue settled in 2 weeks.

Bev,

be careful out there kiddies, it's real life, no game.
1.) If you're skating on thin ice, you might as well dance. 
Bev
2.) The more I talk to my married friends, the more I
     appreciate  having a wife.
Marcy
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Lisbeth

Quote from: Bev on July 03, 2007, 01:00:03 PM
Yes, I've had a close call.  I was pulled over recently for a headlight out I was unaware of.  I didn't think the experience was amusing at all, as I don't even own any more male clothes, and am in the process of an official name change and gender change on my driver's license.  This cop turned out to be nice enough, but looked at my license the longest time.  He ran the license, and came back in about 5 minutes or so, handed it back with the light shining in my face, and said "this was just a warning". 
That's a warning, all right!  You get the wrong cop when you have the wrong ID, and you can be in a world of trouble.  Hopefully, I'll have this issue settled in 2 weeks.

The police in my area have been trained in how to deal with this.

BTW, you should have also shown him a copy of your name change court order.  Then if he'd written you up, the ticket would have been in your right name.
"Anyone who attempts to play the 'real transsexual' card should be summarily dismissed, as they are merely engaging in name calling rather than serious debate."
--Julia Serano

http://juliaserano.blogspot.com/2011/09/transsexual-versus-transgender.html
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Ms Bev

Quote from: Lisbeth on July 03, 2007, 03:51:14 PM

The police in my area have been trained in how to deal with this.

BTW, you should have also shown him a copy of your name change court order.  Then if he'd written you up, the ticket would have been in your right name.

That's nice for you, but the cops where I live are homophobe rednecks.  I don't need a legal name change in my state.  I'm waiting for a letter to the dmv from my doctor, who is on vacation.  Her letter, with mine, and another from my therapist gets me a gender marker change, and a name change, all without a legal name change through the courts.  So, I'm waiting a bit....carefully.

Bev
1.) If you're skating on thin ice, you might as well dance. 
Bev
2.) The more I talk to my married friends, the more I
     appreciate  having a wife.
Marcy
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gothique11

Bev, you're lucky. Here I can change my legal name with no court (it costs around $300), but they won't change the gender marker unless you get surgery and have a letter from your SRS surgeon as well as another letter from an independent doctor who has "inspected" you to see if you actually have vagina. This sux if you're living full time and haven't had the surgery, or don't want or can't get the surgery. I know of a few times that people have been discriminated against because of the gender marker. Almost all jobs, for example, require your ID for a criminal records check and so on.
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Keira


Gothique, your in Canada, like me, do they really do criminal background checks before you get a job? Never head of that, unless your going to work for a defense contractor, the airports, kindergarden teacher, or something sensitive like that.

Some of the big companies might certainly do it, like IBM, especially if you work in sensitive areas, but they're one of the best to work for if your a TS so it wouldn't matter.

Its true, that Alberta is quite different than Quebec, same country, different planet...

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Lisbeth

Quote from: Keira on July 04, 2007, 07:30:55 PM
Gothique, your in Canada, like me, do they really do criminal background checks before you get a job? Never head of that, unless your going to work for a defense contractor, the airports, kindergarden teacher, or something sensitive like that.
The only time I had to go through that was when I worked for a bank.
"Anyone who attempts to play the 'real transsexual' card should be summarily dismissed, as they are merely engaging in name calling rather than serious debate."
--Julia Serano

http://juliaserano.blogspot.com/2011/09/transsexual-versus-transgender.html
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Buffy

I coach little league and the Little League committee went through the US police (who contacted the UK police) to carry out a background check on me. In the UK there is a separate Department within the Criminal Background checks that deals with TS issues. When I taught handicap adults in the UK, I had to submit all my details (current and previous) to them, who then isued me with a certificate (in my new name), which the UK police have a copy of. This is what the US police where given.

My only experience with cards was when I first transitioned and went full time, I got my brand new credit cards so went on a shopping spree. I got to the check out and a young girl looked at me and siad "Sir, this is a womans card, it has her name on it".  I proceeded to show her my driving licence and all she dis wa laugh.Not only was this very embarassing, but she continued to talk like that to me, even though I asked to see a supervisor in private.

It turned out the Store I was in ( a well know UK store) has a training course on how to deal with TS people, but the young assistant hadn't gone on this yet.

I did however receive a full written apology, some gift vouchers and an invite to review the training course and policy.

Buffy
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Gabrielle

Being almost 33, I also don't get carded often.  I was out to dinner with some girlfriends a month ago, and I decided I wanted a drink with dinner.  Well the waiter asked for my ID, we all look at him like he is crazy and I produce it.  Now some back story, except for work, I am presenting as a woman.  I pass most of the time.  The ID I had back then was a very old picture from back when I was in the Army.  He looked at it for a while, and got a confused look on his face.  After a while he handed it back to me and got our drinks.  We all had a good laugh over it while he was gone.

That next week I went to my appointment at the DMV and renewed my license and had an updated picture taken so it at least looks like me with a male name.  It will be nice to change my name sometime in the next 6-12 months depending on my work :)
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gothique11

I work at a liquor store. Before that I worked for a grocery store, and before that 7-eleven. Every single place needed me to sign a records check, put all of my information on it, and send it along with copies of my ID. There are different kinds of checks here -- the check they do checks to see if you have a criminal record, but I don't know if it lists details.

On the info thing, I put my current name and place myself as Female. I haven't had a problem with putting that on the papers. It just sux that I have to show my boss my ID and he/she photocopies it. The information is then sent to some records check place.

I can do it myself and have the info sent back to my employer as well as myself. I did that once before, although all of my information (including past names) show up on the paper. I believe you can get that off, but it takes going to court and a lot of money and time.

Certain jobs need a bigger check, but that involves a lot more like finger prints (which I had to do to change my name legally).

As for IBM, I can see their building out side of my balcony. LOL. I thought of maybe applying, but I don't know what for. Also, apparently the Royal Bank has a similar program going on.

And yeah, Alberta is way different than Quebec. Way more redneck, too. Strangely enough, the provincial government is anti-gay (they tried to stop same sex marriage, but failed), but yet they are the only province that has a provincial health care plan that fully covers GRS/SRS in Montreal or Arizona in special medical cases. I believe the other provinces have stopped full funding or have made funding difficult to get. I know Ontario de-listed funding (not like many people go through with the Clarke Centre over there). Here, the process is pretty smooth except for a few occasional bumps. So yeah, this province does things weird sometimes.

Also, if someone requests your full birth certificate record, it will show all name changes as well as gender changes. But the little card you get doesn't. I don't know of anyone who has to do that, however.

--natalie


Quote from: Keira on July 04, 2007, 07:30:55 PM

Gothique, your in Canada, like me, do they really do criminal background checks before you get a job? Never head of that, unless your going to work for a defense contractor, the airports, kindergarden teacher, or something sensitive like that.

Some of the big companies might certainly do it, like IBM, especially if you work in sensitive areas, but they're one of the best to work for if your a TS so it wouldn't matter.

Its true, that Alberta is quite different than Quebec, same country, different planet...


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Suzy

Well recently I went to a move.  R-rated.   Being over 40 I certainly did not expect any problems.  When the guy took my ticket he said, "Ma'am are you sure you're old enough to see this movie."  At first I thought he was kidding.  He wasn't.  I smiled at him and told him, "Ha ha ha.  Actually, that's the nicest compliment I've had in a long time.  Thanks for making my day."  He looked a little stunned.  I just turned to walk towards my movie.  Quickly.  Before he could recover.  If I'd had to show my ID it would not have been the end of the world.  But it would concern me that I would not get to use rest rooms, etc.

Kristi
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