Hey Gals! I wasn't sure how to ease into the topic, so I'm just gonna jump right in . OK, I'm a lesbian, and I live with my parents for the time being. I wanted to know how I could ask my mother if I could have female friends over, the problem is they assume it's an intercourse thing, but i'm dysphoric enough that that wouldn't be an issue. Unfortunately, I feel really uncomfortable around males in general, or I'd just do that instead    Any and all help is appreciated, thanks in advance!

Hard to answer without knowing your parents.  My parents would be okay with it as long as we're not in a room with the door closed. 

A how old are ya
B what is you? ie assuming MTF here
C is there actually going to be any sex?
D well what's your parents opinions on sex to begin with, any sex is still sex.

If you are just having friends over, and it is a non sex situation, then I would suggest not making something out of nothing actually.

How much of who you are is known by your parents?

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on August 17, 2013, 08:29:01 AM
A how old are ya
B what is you? ie assuming MTF here: Yes, MTF
C is there actually going to be any sex?: No, I wouldn't be comfortable with that and she's straight
D well what's your parents opinions on sex to begin with, any sex is still sex.: Well before I came out, my dad said he wasn't stupid and he knew I'd have girls over, just not be stupid about it. My Mom would have asked if I was F***ing retarded. But after I came out, my dad says he doesn't think he's comfortable with it, and my mom says I can if her parents are OK with it and if I can talk my hard-a** dad into it...

If you are just having friends over, and it is a non sex situation, then I would suggest not making something out of nothing actually.

How much of who you are is known by your parents?

Quote from: iiii on August 17, 2013, 08:59:25 AM
Having them over for a sleepover or what? Why else would they care if you have female friends over?

A sleepover, but my dad hardly ever lets me have anyone over during the day either, and when they are he's home and checks on us every five minutes -_-

Hmm well Carla ducked out on the age answer But not vitally important. Unless of course you are young enough to still be stuck doing your parents bidding and then I suppose that is out of your control to a point.

Regardless of your 'parts' you seem to describe activities meant to be 'girls being girls', and it sounds like your dad simply can't relate to his 'son' having girls over for a girls gathering. It sounds like he's in a sort of sense of denial. Just guessing there, but his constant checking sounds obsessive and sounds like he really doesn't really believe in you.

It's nice you have gal pals ok with you being one of them.

Do you not have alternative choices of where to gather? Surely the girls must have an improvement on your father's behaviour.

It sounds very unfortunate the way your day is acting.

Myself, my son is 19, that makes him an adult, I have I hope made it plain to him it's his room and what he does in it is his business, thus him lately having his girlfriend over and her spending as many evenings sleeping in his bed as she does him sleeping in her bed at her place has not bothered me.
I am not sure of their sex life, and it's none of my damned business, he's an adult now. I'd only object if they were having loud sex in the middle of the night

Not all parents though have much respect for their kids own rights. Too many parents are all about control, just because they think it is their right to just run their kids lives. I prefer to be a voice of advice, not demands.

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on August 17, 2013, 09:45:25 AM
Hmm well Carla ducked out on the age answer But not vitally important. Unless of course you are young enough to still be stuck doing your parents bidding and then I suppose that is out of your control to a point.

Regardless of your 'parts' you seem to describe activities meant to be 'girls being girls', and it sounds like your dad simply can't relate to his 'son' having girls over for a girls gathering. It sounds like he's in a sort of sense of denial. Just guessing there, but his constant checking sounds obsessive and sounds like he really doesn't really believe in you.

It's nice you have gal pals ok with you being one of them.

Do you not have alternative choices of where to gather? Surely the girls must have an improvement on your father's behaviour.

It sounds very unfortunate the way your day is acting.

Myself, my son is 19, that makes him an adult, I have I hope made it plain to him it's his room and what he does in it is his business, thus him lately having his girlfriend over and her spending as many evenings sleeping in his bed as she does him sleeping in her bed at her place has not bothered me.
I am not sure of their sex life, and it's none of my damned business, he's an adult now. I'd only object if they were having loud sex in the middle of the night

Not all parents though have much respect for their kids own rights. Too many parents are all about control, just because they think it is their right to just run their kids lives. I prefer to be a voice of advice, not demands.

My GT also thinks that might be it, but it's odd because he completely supports me in every other way, he pays for my makeup, my female clothes, and he calls me daughter and uses female pronouns... I would be perfectly fine leaving this alone if he could give me ANY reason to keep me from having females over. And unfortunately, most of my friends parents say that being trans is wrong, and they won't allow anything of the sort in their house  . It's just odd to me that my father won't trust me, I'm a straight B+ student, I stay out of trouble, and I even told him about the girl I lost my virginity with, just because he questioned whether I knew I was uncomfortable with intercourse... It just sucks because its not like i'm BSing him or anything -_-

"he completely supports me in every other way, he pays for my makeup, my female clothes, and he calls me daughter and uses female pronouns..."

Hmm confusing, that is NOT the actions of a father that has a problem

So it makes the constant poking his head in the room enigmatic.

Maybe you and dad need to sit down in a room alone and have some one on one no BS solid talk between each other.

It sounds like he is experiencing difficulties, which means you need to connect with him and find out exactly what they are... the difficulties that is.

It's unfortunate the other friends have folks that are rather unyielding. Are they aware of the way their own kids think? Does seem like it.

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on August 17, 2013, 10:51:14 AM
"he completely supports me in every other way, he pays for my makeup, my female clothes, and he calls me daughter and uses female pronouns..."

Hmm confusing, that is NOT the actions of a father that has a problem

So it makes the constant poking his head in the room enigmatic.

Maybe you and dad need to sit down in a room alone and have some one on one no BS solid talk between each other.

It sounds like he is experiencing difficulties, which means you need to connect with him and find out exactly what they are... the difficulties that is.

It's unfortunate the other friends have folks that are rather unyielding. Are they aware of the way their own kids think? Does seem like it.

I talked to him again, and told him pretty much what I put on here, that he has no reason not to trust me, etc. and he said he'll reconsider and get back to me on it. Thanks for all the help guys!

Quote from: Alice In Genderland on August 17, 2013, 04:46:29 PM
One option is to offer to not have the sleepover in a bedroom, my sister always had sleepovers in the basement living room using couches to sleep on.  Parents didn't have to worry about hanky-panky and she could watch TV (she wasn't allowed a TV in the bedroom)  Only works if you don't care about privacy from the parents I guess.

LOL my room is my basement living room thanks for the suggestion though