Quote from: Anna! on August 16, 2013, 11:36:49 PM
I think my mom heard about me updating facebook. I got this text message while I was at a game night this evening: "we are not your parents. You are not welcome in our house. Change your last name".
I ended up leaving the game night to join a smaller group of friends to vent, and now i'm going to go to bed and cry myself to sleep.
Anna,
Nothing I can say or do can take away this pain which saddens me. However, I would like to say that as a fellow transitioner and a peer of the Susan's community, I am really proud of your determination and inner strength. You are a big inspiration to many here. You have come a long way and have overcome lots of hard challenges. This is something else that can be overcome. I'm really sorry that you are being forced to handle this kind of pain, but this will fade and you will persevere.
Having said that, I don't wish to give you false hope, but families can come around. My situation isn't nearly as bad, but my mom had lost her mind for quite some time. However, lately she has been much better with me. I think she needed to see just how much she was hurting me and how her feelings were a bit selfish. Parents do crazy things. I stopped fighting the abusive statements and just let my tears do the talking when I was called warped, an embarrassment or disgusting. I would try hugging her instead of returning her yelling and responding to her transphobic rants. While my mom still hates that I'm doing this, she no longer taunts me after seeing how depressed and weepy I became from the attacks. It just took her time to realize it. I realize our situations are very different and you have severe threats to consider, but I don't want you to think that there is no chance for reconciliation. If you all love each other enough, things can turn around. Of course, that is if you will want it, which I could understand if you have been pushed away too much at this point. At this point in time, they have severed the ties and it is up to them to repair the damage. I don't think you should be the one to initiate contact at this point in time. They are the ones who have caused the damage and it will be up to them to fix it. But like I said, things can turn around and I hope they do.
No matter what happens, you will be okay. You have accomplished a lot so far and you have much more to take on. One setback in life will not preclude you from succeeding in other things. It's okay to cry and it's also okay to move on and leave the past behind if need be. You have made it this far and no one can take away or belittle your successes (not even your parents). Keep it up because everyone here in the Susan's family is really proud of you.
