I was, but I forced myself to forget how to recognize my emotions. If I couldn't tell how I was feeling, I couldn't express them. And if I didn't express them, then I was strong. If I was strong, I could withstand the abuse. If I could withstand the abuse, then maybe it wasn't abuse after all. If it wasn't abuse, then there was nothing to get emotional about.
Rinse, repeat for 18 years. This is why I'm obsessed with self-reflection and navel gazing... its a frontier that I closed myself off to a long time ago and have only just rediscovered.