Please talk to a professional therapist and preferably a psychiatrist involved in gender issues.
Going on hormones changes you both physically and mentally. On E you will becomes sterile and you may lose the ability to gain and maintain an erection. This is very variable between people. It is none predictable to what degree it will happen to you.
You will be sterile after about 6 months, again this varies. There are physical changes, the obvious feminization of the body and the more subtle feminization of the of the mindset. Again very variable among individuals.
However you will not be the same as you are before taking hormones.
You change.
If you are accepting of the changes they are wonderful, if you are not, they are a catastrophe.
That is why a good therapist is worth their weight in gold.
Cindy