Okay, I'm going to try to make this brief as possible.

I'm a 24 year old male and always identified as a heterosexual male and love women. To make a long story short, I met a gorgeous woman (let's call her Michelle) who turned out to be...well, male. The mental hurdle was hard to get over, but she is beautiful, sweet, feminine most of the time and I truly do love her. We have some pretty heated fights, and although I do feel responsible for much of it, I think a lot of it stems from what I perceive as 'male' like behavior.

Anyway, Michelle hinted early on that she wanted me to...go down on her. Not receive, mind you, but just oral. I told her I simply couldn't do it. We had an argument over it and it ended with her agreeing that she wanted genital reassignment and hormone therapy (apparently, she hadn't desired these things previously), and she no longer asked for these things.

Fast forward a few months. Things are going well, there's a lot going on in both our lives so it's a little rocky. Within the course of a month, I surreptitiously look on her phone and see her texting guys off Craigslist. After lots of fighting and heartache over this, it turns out she does it just for the sexual thrill. I believe it. I feel guilty, because all the interactions involve her using her penis/ having oral performed on her. Obviously I can't fill that niche in her life.

Anyway, she seems hesitant to begin transitioning, and the more I look into it, the less I believe her to be actually TS. She looks 100% passable (only lacking breasts), but seems to want to use her penis. It's like she's telling me out of one side of her mouth that she wants to transition because she loves me, but I think part of her loves to have sex as a man. My only experience has been with women, so I treat her as one in and out of bed. I did a lot of reading early on, and from what I had believed, most TS have aversion to their genitalia. That seemed to work fine with me, because I frankly have an aversion to a penis that's not my own.

Any advice, or direction here? I have a lot more to say, but I'll probably add it after some discussion. Thank you all, and have a blissful day. 

Gender Dysphoria comes in all shapes and sizes.  Not all transwomen have an aversion to their genitalia.  In fact, some enjoy having their genitalia and others make the best of what they have.  It differs.  Personally, I have an aversion to mine and cannot even fathom it being used sexually, but this isn't always the case.  If I may, I would suggest reading some of the threads in the MTF section and the Non op board to gain further insight.

I think the main issue here, judging from what I've read, is a lack of communication.  It seems she has certain sexual needs that you can't fulfil.  No one is right or wrong in this case, but you both need to be on the same page for a healthy relationship.  You shouldn't have to do something sexually that you feel uncomfortable with and don't deserve to be cheated on.  If she feels that particular forms of sexual intimacy is necessary and you can't provide it, then I think you both need to have a serious conversation about your relationship and find out if there is a healthy compromise.   Talk to her.  Figure out what she wants and share what you want.  Perhaps there is a way to work things out.

I'm a non-op trans woman - I also happen to be a lesbian. With that said, I don't hate my genitals, they aren't quite right, but I don't hate them, nor do I hate using them.

As Learning suggested, I sense there are some communication issues going on.

I'm just starting to evaluate myself, but I will probably end up in the same boat as Kelly.  I don't hate my penis and have no attraction towards the male body... so my input should be taken with a grain of salt... I'll echo what others have said on the subject of open communication.  Each of you need to know what the other wants out of the relationship.  You two should talk more.  That said, there are 2 possibilities on how Michelle is going to proceed. 

One, she could be perfectly okay with where she is at now, and is doing her best to please you by saying she wants to make the change.  If this is the case, she's not doing this to lead you on or to be untruthful, but probably more out of fear of loosing what she has with you.  Again if this is the case, everyone loves having orgasms and it sounds like her penis is still a source of pleasure for her and you will have to come to terms with the fact that continuing this relationship on an equitable level will require some interaction between you and her penis.

The second option is that she does actually want to have the surgery.  In this case there are many hurdles to jump in terms of money, approval, and even mental preparedness before undertaking this step.  The last thing she needs is to be pressured into making a decision on something as life changing and irreversible as getting SRS.  Also, see the point above about everyone loving orgasms, just because she is planing on getting rid of her penis, doesn't mean that she doesn't enjoy it from time to time.

Cheating... In most cases people cheat because they cant effectively communicate their needs with their partner.  They either need something the other can't or isn't giving, or they aren't truly committed to the relationship (A third possibility is polyamory, monogamy is a social construct and not really the base state of human interaction from an evolutionary perspective).  All this wont be fixed with better communication, but at least it will allow both sides to flesh out where they stand.

For the benefit of the OP.

I am MTF I still have the male organ, I look forward to a day when I have a vagina, I'd rather have a vagina but, I don't mind using what I do have, as it feels ok to use it, I mean it works correctly during the OMG moment eh.

That all said, hmm going down on a male sex organ. Let me know when you can actually find any cis married women that are not full of it whn they say they enjoy giving head eh

Being female doesn't mean you want to suck off a man, or a man part either.

Hey, I don't ask for anything I won't do. Until a person has done it they can't ask for it. Any man or man part equipped person wishing to lie back and experience OMG while another person sucks them off better have earned it first or they lose points with me at least.

Yes I know what it tastes like, I have put it where it would routinely go but I have tasted it afterward, and it is not relevant whether you drank from the straw or the glass eh, it tastes horrible. Not just a bit horrible, it tastes particularly horrible.

I don't mind the tastes of a female, but a female isn't going to be ejaculating sperm regardless of how much mess she might be capable of. It's a different biological process plain and simple. It's not coke vs pepsi either. A mouthful of sperm is what it is.

I don't secretly pretend to be sucking off men in my fantasies. I doubt my wife does either.
But hey, I've seen so many unusual things that get people off since I have had internet access.

I am not going to comment on what your friend is or is not and how dedicated your friend is to you or is not.
But, if you can not bring yourself to perform oral sex, hey, that just makes you one of MILLIONS of other women that are not interested in doing that eh. And your friend will need to accept that. And she wanted to do it to yours, it still doesn't mean you will want to do it on hers, but, of course, you'd at least be guilty of being unfair hehe.

Well, at first I wanted to say something - A LOT, but then I decided that I better remain silent on this, so to avoid escalating things and emotions after the previous poster. Lets just say, I disagree with Les, but lets keep it to that. Huh.

Oh, whatever. And, by the way, this is deff not meant for the OP, but in my opinion if You love someone, then You love that person 100% and how something can be horrible etc. - is just beyond my comprehension.

I'm amazed how we are all under the same umbrella but come in different styles. Me it's reverse, I HATE men who like to touch my penis or even see it. I'm a pre-op and this disgusting thing in between my legs needs to get off at any cost soon, desperately struggling to operate and chop it off.

I conclude you're a pure and real straight guy and you've hit into a non-op Transsexual but if you both really love each other, you need to find a compromise and balance. If she doesn't want to operate, to the least she needs to respect the fact you don't want a penis in your mouth or in you and to play passive 100%.

This is strange how ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s always rant that we transsexuals reject them when in fact girls who like them do exist like your girlfriend, but I guess girls like her are minorities.

First of all, you have no obligation to do weird, sexual things that you don't want to do.

Second, transitioning FOR someone else is never a good idea.

Third, if she's messing around with dirty guys on Craigslist for a "sexual thrill" then you shouldn't tolerate it.