I dunno what each of you your reason and objective is in transitioning but for me my main is to attract guys.

What is strange is that when I was in my early/mid twenties I looked very beautiful and attractive but NOT passable. Some people say beautiful=passable, this is not true. You can be very beautiful but not passable cos of some subtle features in your face that betrays you. So before I was having problem to attract guys cos they were always clocking me and saying 'She's very beautiful but SHE'S IS A MAN!'

Now I've reached my 30's and things are reverting but getting worse. I am passing but looking less beautiful. As time passed by I manage to do my FFS and correct my flaws and 'unpassabilities', but now aging is attacking and my beauty has faded a lot and this is getting me depressed big time. Now they don't clock me as much as before but I no more look as attractive as I was.

Making things worse is IN MY HEAD I am childish and feel still in the peer age group of people 18-20 years old, and I get attracted by guys ONLY between those range. I don't like guys same age as me. I find even a guy of 25 years too old for my taste and I want only 18-20.


It's like a perpetual war never ending to attract guys of 18-20.

How do you girls deal with aging? It's so scary. I'm almost ruined in my 30's, I prefer not think what will happen to me later on Sometimes I think of committing suicide if I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore. I'm so obssessed with youth and beauty.  Honestly I prefer to be perceived as a bombshell ->-bleeped-<- than to be a passable but plain.

Personally, transitioning to get guys is a bad reason.

I think you need to be happy with yourself and who you are before you will actually attract anyone for the long term. Many people fall for a persons personality more than their looks.

I'm 52. Men pay a lot of attention to me (though no one has asked to date me. I haven't flirted, since I'm not really into men yet.)

They're not 18-20 year-olds. They're people closer to my own age whose life experiences and outlook are therefore similar to mine.

My objective in transitioning, though, has nothing to do with attracting people. I did it because it's the only way I'm comfortable living.

Quote from: LordKAT on August 27, 2013, 07:56:18 AM
Personally, transitioning to get guys is a bad reason.

I think you need to be happy with yourself and who you are before you will actually attract anyone for the long term. Many people fall for a persons personality more than their looks.

Honestly LordKat, I'm a very sexual person and not into long term stuffs. I tried it but I conclude it's a prison and so boring for me.

As a guy, I NEVER attracted a single straight guy, all I was attracting were gay guys who wanted to touch my most hated part, when I was perceived as a beautiful ->-bleeped-<- all I was attracting were ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-s who again like to touch my hated part, now I am passable but beauty faded, all I am attracting are ugly desperate straight guys. I'M NEVER GETTING WHAT I REALLY WANT. I get them VERY VERY VERY RARE. The only way to have the type of people that I want was to alter myself, there was no other way out of that situation. But of course I also transitioned cos I felt that I would be more at ease expressing myself as female than male, that was the second reason I transitioned.

1. I think you should discuss those issues and worries with a therapist, sexologist, something like that. I would personally be worried by not being able to accept someone even 5 years younger than me, and to be so worried about appearance than being an "old" (big quotes) 30-year-old would make me desperate. Not to mention that t obe so centered on sex is probably not very healthy.

I'm not trying to ridicule you or anything, but I seriously think the issue is hardly aging but the fact that you're so afraid of it. Keeping yourself from visually aging is difficult, costy and everything but perfect. Working on obsessions, set ideas and rigid patterns however may be hard, but it's not costy, and it doesn't have the side effects of a lifting or a botox injection. Consider it. It's not like it takes anything away from you.

2. There are actually some young men who are into older women. They're even a "classic" fiction character.

3. There are ways to slow aging, such as avoiding the sun and eating well. Assuming that you're not so obsessed and that by 30 years old aging is already significantly apparent, you've probably not been taking care of yourself well. The worst I can think of is not protecting yourself from the sun, or even worse, actually tanning. At 30, in theory, your body has only been in a slow degradation state for 5 years or so. It should not be so apparent. If you start doing things healthily it shouldn't get worse too fast.

4. Although 30 is definitely a bit young, there are corrective surgeries and treatments for apparent age. Make sure you go to someone competent and discuss long-term issues with them properly though. For example, you may feel satisfied after a face-lift, but then realize that 5 years later, your stretched skin is worse than before. And uhm, no botox. Never seen it look even decent. There are also "soft" treatments, too, like skin resurfacing and such. Those are probably better to try at first.

Quote from: A on August 27, 2013, 08:35:44 AM
1. I think you should discuss those issues and worries with a therapist, sexologist, something like that. I would personally be worried by not being able to accept someone even 5 years younger than me, and to be so worried about appearance than being an "old" (big quotes) 30-year-old would make me desperate. Not to mention that t obe so centered on sex is probably not very healthy.

I'm not trying to ridicule you or anything, but I seriously think the issue is hardly aging but the fact that you're so afraid of it. Keeping yourself from visually aging is difficult, costy and everything but perfect. Working on obsessions, set ideas and rigid patterns however may be hard, but it's not costy, and it doesn't have the side effects of a lifting or a botox injection. Consider it. It's not like it takes anything away from you.

2. There are actually some young men who are into older women. They're even a "classic" fiction character.

3. There are ways to slow aging, such as avoiding the sun and eating well. Assuming that you're not so obsessed and that by 30 years old aging is already significantly apparent, you've probably not been taking care of yourself well. The worst I can think of is not protecting yourself from the sun, or even worse, actually tanning. At 30, in theory, your body has only been in a slow degradation state for 5 years or so. It should not be so apparent. If you start doing things healthily it shouldn't get worse too fast.

4. Although 30 is definitely a bit young, there are corrective surgeries and treatments for apparent age. Make sure you go to someone competent and discuss long-term issues with them properly though. For example, you may feel satisfied after a face-lift, but then realize that 5 years later, your stretched skin is worse than before. And uhm, no botox. Never seen it look even decent. There are also "soft" treatments, too, like skin resurfacing and such. Those are probably better to try at first.

Thanks for all the advices.   

First off: 30 isn't old thank you very much. At all. In fact it is a much better age then 20 because of the acquired experience. I loved being 20. But I love being 30, at least I did when I was swimming in money. Well that was 28. Anyhoo, transitioning for looks or sex, eh, that could backfire on you. Big time. If you are a good looking guy, you should have no trouble getting men. And most gay men aren't flamers and you wouldn't even know they are gay. In fact, most heteros are more GAY then GAY men lol

Long story short, you need to accept your age, your not old, we all go thru this, I know I id, but hangin out with 18 year olds? really? Uh, that sound slike my worst nightmare. I couldn't imagine a worst situation then being stuck living ina college dorm at 30. UGH. KILL ME NOW lol seriously, move to a city there are plenty of people in their 30s without kids who like to party and have fun.

I really think you need two things:


A decent therapist and maybe someone to help you with style. It is not hard to be sexy at 30 years old.

Remember beuti is a varient thing, theres many guys who find mature woman to be very sexy.

Well I'm only 26 so I don't have Too much to worry about although it dose crop up alittle.

Looks aren't everything princess, And I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you and I will both be old one day, have scraggly gray hair, a face full of wrinkles and crappy teeth. No matter what we do.

There's only one other option, and that's to off yourself and turn yourself into a taxidermy... That's not an option worth taking.

As for me, I've been getting gray hairs since I was 17... I actually like them, I've got quite a few and I wish I had more, I think they are awesome. But then again I have strange aesthetic tastes.

I do have wrinkles in my case they aren't entirely natural in origin, Alot of them are from intensive electrolysis sessions where the collagen in my skin has been damaged. They look like a cross between acne scarring and a splodge of prematurely aged skin. I regard them the same way I regard all my scars and I have ALOT of them. (Like 30% of my body)

"I made sacrifices to survive those darkest of days and I bear the marks from it, I lament that I had to make such choices but I don't regret them."

As for what I do practically, I can't go back but I can go forward, I moisturise and put sunscreen on everyday, I exercise and I eat and sleep properly (Well not those last two sometimes  nobody is perfect. )

Do you look 30 OP? I know everyone I meet gasps when I say my age. I look young like 25-28. At least that is what everyone guesses. I.m actually 54.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on August 27, 2013, 02:06:14 PM
Do you look 30 OP? I know everyone I meet gasps when I say my age. I look young like 25-28. At least that is what everyone guesses. I.m actually 54.

WHAT!!!   You should be kidding right? There NO WAY on earth you can be 54!  28 I would say. And if it's the truth, what's your secret to remain and look much younger than your age?

Last year I was 29 and I looked upto 23 depending on my make up but this year, generally looking 25, all suddenly my face flettered I dunno how and why and I do look my actual age now.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on August 27, 2013, 02:06:14 PM
Do you look 30 OP? I know everyone I meet gasps when I say my age. I look young like 25-28. At least that is what everyone guesses. I.m actually 54.

If you're 54, I'll eat your hat (since I don't have one)

Quote from: Joanna Dark on August 27, 2013, 02:06:14 PM
Do you look 30 OP? I know everyone I meet gasps when I say my age. I look young like 25-28. At least that is what everyone guesses. I.m actually 54.

You're 54? What is this sorcery!? Where have you hidden the fountain of youth!

Quote from: Joanna Dark on August 27, 2013, 10:27:05 AM
First off: 30 isn't old thank you very much. At all. In fact it is a much better age then 20 because of the acquired experience. I loved being 20. But I love being 30, at least I did when I was swimming in money. Well that was 28. Anyhoo, transitioning for looks or sex, eh, that could backfire on you. Big time. If you are a good looking guy, you should have no trouble getting men. And most gay men aren't flamers and you wouldn't even know they are gay. In fact, most heteros are more GAY then GAY men lol

One of the benefits of the acquired experience is that you learn there is more to a person's beauty than their physical appearance. For example, I know a woman, an absolutely stunning beauty.. However, her personality is so toxic that no one will hang around her too long...

Beauty is only skin deep.. Ugly goes right to the bone..

This is one of the saddest threads I've yet read on Susan's, or the reason for writing it is. If you feel horrible and betrayed by aging at 30 something, I really don't see how you'll survive into your forties. I won't bother mentioning anything older than that. I just turned 59 less than two weeks ago, and aging isn't what worries or saddens me, it's all the wasted years I had getting to the point of having to transition because I'd burned out every other option. I finally did what I knew I wanted from my first moments of knowing I was born with a male body. Live as a female. Your first reason, for sex, is the first time I've ever read about it being any transsexual's main reason for transitioning, anywhere at anytime. You'd better get used to it, girl, you're going to age, how you go about doing it is up to you, gracefully or gracelessly, tactlessly and depressingly. If you don't seek help though, I can see a very possible drug and/or alcohol future for you to cope with aging.....which will only accelerate what you're trying to escape. Who doesn't love looking at a gorgeous twentysomething's hard body, but who on earth wants to hang out with a twentysomething mind. I mean this sincerely, I'm worried for your future and I hope you get some help. From the sound of things you've gone too far into transitioning to go back now. I can't think of anything less appealing for me to de-transition into after going as far as I have, (and I haven't had any FFS or anything else, just HRT), and that's being an effeminate looking gay man. Nobody in their right mind wants to stay with someone unhappily attached to a mirror. You'd better get over your appearance and look at how others see you, instead of from the flawed mirror you see yourself in. God bless you, Mira

When I was young (early 20's) and trying my best to be "A Man", I was most attracted to Women in their late 20 and early 30's. 
They were confident, graceful, articulate, personable, fun to be with and radiated an inner beauty. They also took the time to look very nice without being over-the-top.  They had no difficulty in attracting men of all ages.

Most all of the Genetic Women I've gotten to know (15 to 20 ladies) felt they really hit their stride in their 30's and essentially all would not want to go back to when they were 20-somethings.

I believe that each of us can Rock-What-We-Got.

I believe from your words that you have the physical attractiveness to easily find partners for romance and when you are ready longer term relationships. Changing where you live and work is one way to new possibilities.

Learning to be attracted to people and not just their attributes is the most powerful way to open up new possibilities and provide many new and joyful opportunities. 

Please, if you can take to heart the suggestions for seeking some professional help to work through your current situation, YOU are worth the time and effort it takes to learn how to love and care for yourself.

-Cindi 

I am 34 and I am not really at ease with my age...I feel much younger... also because I transitioned at 28.
I skipped my youth puberty/everything... (since I could not/did not live as a normal guy). Most of my youth
days were spent indoors... thats why I got osteoporosis.
I feel I have missed out on being young. And having fun.
If that is your problem too, I can relate to that.

I also feel terrible when I see my sagging skin en receding hairline, even though I do seem to look feminine...
often I do not feel feminine...I dont feel pretty.... I so long to feel pretty. I know that sounds childish ...
I want men to be attracted to me and I also crave for their attention lol. I sometimes even measure my self
worth to my looks and then get really depressed.

I think it has to do with the emotional gap live left me. No youth as girl or teenager... and I long so
much to be of that age and start again. Its so sad when you miss out on life.

But then again I try enjoy it to the full and try not to have self pity by comparing myself to people who have
more difficult lives so I should be happy. I owe it to those people to at least enjoy what I DO HAVE.

I understand your frustration with men though. I also always seem to attract the guys I dont like/need.
I like older guys though... but now that Im getting old... those older guys are getting younger each minute lol.

I feel that this also had to do with longing to be seen/recognition... understood by men... and that they
want to make me feel feminine... instead of focussing on masculinity (male parts) etc. That really makes me
feel bad. Its hard to find a man that understands this. It sucks being a ->-bleeped-<-! lol

I also did not transition because I wanted to become a woman, I already was one... and if I could choose... I
would choose to be a man. I dont like being a woman, let alone ->-bleeped-<-... and to be seen as equal by woman,
I could not care less... I only like few woman.

But to have a masculine guy that see's you as a woman and understands your needs... thats also what I keep longing for,.

I can't imagine wanting to stay young and attractive looking for the purpose of attracting partners for casual sex.  I just can't imagine that, I'm not built that way.

What I can imagine is wanting to stay young and attractive looking in order to be able to continue to work in the Adult Industry.  If you are really interested in staying young looking, and attractive there are all sorts of things you can learn about.  But if you really want to stay young looking and attractive you will never eat fast-food, canned-food or frozen food.  You will never eat sugar or artificial sweeteners.  You will learn about antioxidants like salt, resveratrol, n-acetyl cysteine, Ester=C, blueberries...  You will probably replace that late night snack with a psyllium husk smoothie, maybe add a little cacao powder or chaga or some other superfood. 

Oh and you won't drink alcohol or municipal water that is fluoridated.  You won't smoke cigarettes or use recreational drugs and you will learn about things like Retin A, aspirin facial scrubs and topically applied vitamin C.  You won't stay up late and you will moisturize. Also you will work on balancing your life and finding harmony, perhaps through meditation or yoga because stress causes the body to age.  Also you may begin to learn that serving others is much more rewarding and will bring far greater joy than serving one's self and that inner joy will cause you to radiate inner beauty.  I am still working on that last one.  Oh and you will go to bed with Scotch Magic tape on your face.

Frozen food makes you look old?  Do you mean convenience food by this or just the actual process of freezing food does something to it to make you age?