I messed up when I set my alarm, and set it for pm instead of am. So I woke up 15 minutes before I had to leave. I managed to get there on time but I was tired and foggy because I was up all night tossing and turning because I was so nervous. By the time I got in to talk to her I hadn't had a moment to really mentally prepare for it, so I fell back on the same defense mechanism I use whenever I meet someone new or when I'm feeling vulnerable -- I act like everything's cool. I'm pretty sure I gave a really confusing first impression. I came across as totally nonchalant which I always do when my guard is up. I didn't even realize I was doing it! I was answering questions with anecdotes instead of telling her how I feel. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

I guess it's not the end of the world, but it really sucks. I'm seeing her again soon, and I don't think I'll be so guarded next time. I just have to be careful when I set my alarm. (I always screw up with the alarm clock!)

I just hope I didn't hurt my chances.

I'm sure she's seen guarded people before. Chances are you'll be fine.

On the first meeting I expect that a lot of her clients are nervous - she's seen it before.

Maybe you can spend a few minutes explaining her why you were "not all there" on the first trip when you go to your next appointment.

Remember - shes there for you and being anything but honest just wastes money and time.

I'm no therapist, but I'm sure she's had that kind of thing happen before and you probably weren't even the worst one. Plus it was the first session it's really about you getting comfy in that space and building a bit of rapport with the therapist.

I some times try to prepare to see my therapist if there is something really pressing in my life, but some of my best most cathartic sessions have been when I have nothing going on and we just start talking. Those anecdotes can be good jumping off points and may even be relevant to how you feel. I'm constantly drawing parallels between my past experiences or things I've read and my personal feelings in the present during my sessions.

You all make good points. Thank you.

I know I have nothing to worry about, but I can't help but worry. It's my nature.

I have a bachelors in psych. Trust me, she knows something is up. She might even have an idea of what it is.

You'll be fine.  I think the attitude is not that unusual and not something she hasn't seen before.  I generally go in with a list of things I want to talk about and where I am at working on things we agreed we need to work on. 

I don't mean to scare anyone! I had my second today. It was a week and a half after. A long time to wait with all that goes on in your head.

But I lived through it, and my second session was surpisingly good.

Things went very well. I wasn't entirely open, but I admitted I was a little guarded. She was very cool about it.

We didn't finish the basic questions from our first session, so we finished them this time. In the end, all was good.

I'm happy with her now.

Because I gave her a chance.

Excellent!!!  Whooooooot!!!

I never prepare for my therapy appoitments. Things just seem to come out naturally. Maybe it's because I have been in therapy for a long time.  I sometimes wonder if it will ever end and where it will take me?

Samantha