Quote from: androidnick on September 02, 2013, 11:54:10 AM
I struggled a lot with transitioning because I was scared of the "scary" side-effects that T could have. I've read a lot of things like increased chance of cancer, liver damage, etc. But life is too short. I am hoping that I will never have to encounter any of these things.
For me, the BIGGEST and absolutely most obvious change has been my mentality. I just stopped caring what people think. I feel like it is what it is. If people don't want to be accepting, then that's on them. And it has nothing to do with me. So basically, what I did on Facebook was change my name to Nicholas. I also posted something along the lines of this is who I am. I am not a lesbian. I am trans. Blah blah blah. I don't tell anyone how to live their life and I expect the same for me.
If at this point, anyone wanted to unfriend me it was up to them. It doesn't hurt me. I did this before starting T just because I was sick and tired. But also it was good because if someone had been an idiot. It wouldn't have been while I was just starting T and ruining what would have been an otherwise awesome and perfect moment.
I recognize since you are older it must be harder. You have solid relationship and whatnot. But the biggest thing we all have to recognize is that after coming out, it's like what was the big deal. The best part I guarantee you is seeing how accepting people can be. Even when you didn't expect it from them.
Hey Nick, what a great post, with lots of great advice and insight!!!!! Thank you!!!!
I have hidden from this for nearly 40 years, and just put a huge barrier up saying I would NEVER tell anyone or act upon my feelings. My BF, who's been the only person until recently to know, has known for 9 years and has always said to me 'no one will care'. It's taken me 9 years along with hearing a lot of people on youtube saying how surprised they were at the support they've had, to actually start believing him.
At this point, still too scared to even go to my GP as that's someone I know and will have to look in the eye again, I went to see a counsellor privately. He managed to knock down 90% of my barriers in one session. I've seen so called professionals in the past (went to a GIC at 15 due to distress going through puberty, and also had a hearing therapist for tinnitus, but they either did no good whatsoever or actually did more harm than good, literally. I had emotional problems due to the GIC 10 years later when starting out a new business). So anyway, what a relief to finally realise I can do this.
Being older means there's more people in my past that at some point I may come across, I don't suppose everything will be easy, and I am also self employed and work with children so was sooooo worried that would be no, no for transition. However I've been reassured by both the professionals I've seen that most people don't have an issue. Yes I may lose some business and should plan for this, but long term, new people coming in won't know and even if they mix with the old people who do know, that eventually given time people kind of forget, so the gossip, or chinese whispers will die down. So long term my business, while having a bumpy patch should be fine. I've also been told it could actually go from strength to strength as I will be 'ME' and will be more driven, more confident etc, and will do more with the business to make it more successful.
So right now I'm scared of the initial reactions, but I'm sure I'll be surprised by how supportive some are (I have a good relationship with my clients, so hoping that will help) and in the long term things will be good.
Feeling more and more confident as time goes on!!!!!!
