Alright so got my first experience that I can post in here.  Don't I feel like part of the group now...

Talking to a guy about troubles growing up, he said that a rumor started about him that he was gay in high school.  I said I can kind of relate to that, all my life I've been considered by others to be a gay man, it definitely is frustrating.  His response was, "Imagine how much more frustrating it is when you aren't."

Quote from: Beth Andrea on August 28, 2013, 01:52:31 PM
So there I was, sitting in my heavily decorated car with flowers, butterflies, and "Beth" on the side...I'm having lunch (Chinese...yum!), wearing a purple flowered blouse, boobs stickin' out just as proud as can be, makeup (very nicely done, I might add), nails are purple, dangly earrings (standard issue for me)...

When people misgender trans women who present clearly, unequivocally as female (like you were in this case), I think it goes past "honest mistake" and is willed and deliberate ignorance. When people misgender me I am slightly less offended, because they may honestly believe I am a butch lesbian (since a lot of women wear men's clothes), but you would never see someone who was entirely male-identified going about day to day business dressed as you were in this circumstance. You just don't. So, he was being a jackass imo.

Got screamed at again that "the things I do" are sickening. Would give myself hope and say less than two years left, but my body is deteriorating and I'll probably need to stay with a parent longer. Such wondrous things I have to look forward to.

The other day, someone asked me if my brain works like a guy's. Duh.
And I got the person thing again in all caps and with multiple exclamation marks. "You are a person! Done." No, not done.

Finally able to punch my ticket for the thread here today.

Was with mom grocery shopping, and saw a friend I have known for a few years.

Well about a year now, had something of a 'disagreement' during a role game session (he was DM). Big issue over the fact that it is easy for a person to disguise their gender without needing to make a fuss and need a dice roll if they simply chose their clothing well. He disagreed, was positive I needed to make rolls all the time, as if it was an ongoing issue. Eventually I just got fed up, and told him look Jeff, you are sitting next to a woman all this time, and you sure never knew, so why should these paper people be so miraculously informed?

That was one of the first instances where I elected to club someone over the head with my situation. So ok, I am just assuming the guy 'KNOWS' eh. Either than or for the last year he's been stunningly clueless. I've been in the store ooodles of times wearing obvious jewellery all this time.

"Les what's with the cheap asian jewellery?"

Not sure what the response should have been.

I am unsure if he is aware or not, he's not on my Facebook, so has not been privy to a years worth of my babbling on every day about things.

Or was it just he actually thinks my jewellery looks like cheap junk? I mean heck is that something you say to a friend regardless of gender?

I don't know where my Avon products are made, might be Asia like everything else is. But I kinda think it is nice looking. Sure the necklace isn't actual gold and the stones have not put me out hundreds of bucks. But just because it didn't cost me an arm and a leg doesn't make it ugly either.

Rather vexed that he said that to me.

I was seeing a phsyciatrist for my depression a few months ago, when the 6 sessions were up after I had fully discussed my gender issues for the full 6 hrs she sent a letter addressed to Mr Jayne ********!!
My support worker said he didn't know if he should laugh at her stupidity or phone her up & give her a few choice words!

Sadly a shrinks diplomas proudly displayed on the walls will tell you all about how they are supposed to be skilled shrinks, but, it is often clear, some shrinks were never taught anything useful for some topics.

Favorite line from straight girls who think I'm cute

I'd like you if you had a dick

Favorite lines from everyone

Are you a boy or a girl

[TW?]
Today, during a discussion between my mom and myself of the sunshine and roses associated with EDS:

Mom: Oh, and another thing- people with the Classic type often have heavy periods. I used to get those all the time, you know-

Me: *face screws up in agony* Mom!

Mom: WHAT?! I WAS TALKING ABOUT ME! I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU, EVERY TIME THAT'S EVER BEEN MENTIONED YOU ACT SO DISGUSTED, IT'S SICK! THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR SO LONG, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!

I wonder why that is, Mom. Honestly, I can't possibly think of any reason I wouldn't want to hear about that, because only guys would ever be grossed out about those sorts of things, and clearly I'm not a guy. 

Love it when the evidence is right in front of her nose and she *still* can't see it.

"You'll never get any chicks looking like that"

What can I get you SIR?
You're manager,an apology and your P45 will do nicely thank you

Why does it seem like every single time I come out to someone I get a response along these lines:

"Well, to me you'll always be the same person."

And they say that as if it's supposed to be a comforting thing.

Like, after coming out on my work Facebook page, someone said the following to me: "just know that to us you are and always will be Charlie the person we grew to love"

Or when my mom said "you'll always be my son to me," or my aunt said "you'll always be my perfect nephew."

I know it's good intentioned, trying to make me feel like people aren't going to think of me as some weirdo all of a sudden, but seriously, the whole point of being trans is that I want to NOT be Charlie, not be a son, and not be a nephew anymore...

Mom the other day was with her visiting nurse, and the nurse needed to check out a bruise mom had given herself thanks to a fall on her backside.

She needed to lift up her dress in the process of course and asked me to wander into the other room.

Hey I don't mind, some people are just that way even with their own gender. I don't mind humouring it at the moment.

But she is talking to the girl about me, and it's all about how great her kids are and that she has such a wonderful son.

Now there is a limit to how much I will indulge the old gal eh. I said from the kitchen 'you realize there is a problem with that comment eh mom?'. And when it was clear she was finished with the nurse examining her I walked into the living room and told the girl 'eventually there won't be any value in asking me to leave the room, I'm transgender and I am as much of a woman as you are' directed at the nurse in this case.

I know my mom is just an old woman and her ability to recall details in general could be better. But there are definitely times when I do have to remind her, she has a wonderful son (my brother) and two wonderful daughters not two wonderful sons and just one wonderful daughter (my sister).

And yes, I concur, it is annoying as Carrie mentioned, I don't want to be told 'I'll always be Leslie Robert' to them.
Just so long as they can deal with the fact I won't reply to that manner of address, and in the future, I will be writing aunt Lesley on greetings to my nieces and nephews.
May is a long time in some ways from now, and frankly, I am not really going to kill myself trying to get the wife shopping for a dress for my nieces wedding then (may 2014), I will likely be trying to find something in a nice modest low attention grabbing outfit for myself. I say low attention grabbing, because it is rude to upstage the bride.

The thing is, my current legal name has been a mistake that has merely escaped correction for 50 years.
I have no interest in maintaining the mistake.

A while ago I wrote about my misadventures in a major chain grocery store. (iirc, it was in my blog, which I have since deleted entirely).

Basically, they had a policy there to fold the receipt in half (where the name of the customer is printed) and say, "Thank you Mr. ___/Ms. ___! Have a great day!" or somesuch. But when I'd pay for my stuff, they'd fold it, read my name silently, then "Thank you! Have a great day!"

After a month of this, I talked to the manager...and a month later, I sent an email to "Corporate"...and 3 days later I get a call from Mr. Manager, very polite, very apologetic, he doesn't want to offend, sorry, yada yada...he assured me that he and the new asst manager (from Portland OR, which has a significant LGBT population) will bring the clerks up to speed on this issue of respect, etc etc.

So, I'm happy.

For a couple weeks.

Then I notice none of the clerks are reading the names to anyone, and when they say "thank you" they're not too sincere-sounding. In fact, I catch a couple of the clerks almost tossing the receipts at the customers!

When I get my turn, the clerk doesn't even glance towards me, he just says the total, and starts ringing up the next person...

WTH, over? Did my complaint cause the store to change policy? From my perspective (and I will be calling the manager on this), it looks like they tried to get everyone there to use the customer's name as per past practice, but some clerks were adamant that they weren't going to address me by my name...perhaps they were threatened with being fired, so ALL the clerks decided to be asses and be rude to everyone...

Or the manager (or Corporate) decided to make a policy of not addressing customers by name, to avoid any potential lawsuit? What a loss...they used to be a very friendly store, where I enjoyed shopping.

*sigh*

Jeez! How hard is it to simply greet another human being with the name they prefer?

I'd say it was your second assumption Beth.

It's the common result, in our climate of zero tolerance zero brains sue immune society.

It IS a shame as you say.

"I wish you'd stop spitting like a boy."

I am a boy, so therefore I'm allowed to spit.  Even if I identified as female I'm still allowed to spit.  Spitting isn't exclusive to any gender.

So I called the store mangler yesterday, he denies any policy change (the clerks are still expected to address the customers by name) and he sounded a little pissed that the clerks were being so lax about the policy on the day he wasn't there (due to Labor Day holiday).

So I'm happy with his response...I decided not to mention the other problem, an employee was outside the door, happily BBQ'ing hotdogs and ribs...of course, I didn't buy any going into the store but on the way out the smells was just too much and I asked how much....she told me, but then said I'd have to pay inside.

THERE WERE BIG LINES INSIDE.

And I could tell she knew this, and was fully aware of the complications of NOT being able to pay *right there*, but it hadn't been her decision to make.

Some managers....sheesh.

" Dude you cant be a girl inside you like video games compedatively."

My friend told me this yesterday after playing a compedative Dota 2 game ... lol I guess girls arent allowed to enjoy digital entertainment.

Quote from: LilDevilOfPrada on September 04, 2013, 01:36:16 PM
" Dude you cant be a girl inside you like video games compedatively."

Well, I'm a cis girl and I like video games. And what about Ricky Ortiz, hmm? One of the top Street Fighter players IN THE WORLD, and she is transitioning. (https://twitter.com/HelloKittyRicky) Ugh.

Do you ever have those friends who are supportive and do refer to you with the right name and pronouns and stuff, but then they say something about it being a choice? And you feel bad about pointing out that it's not a choice because you know they mean well, but...