Well, I think I'm ready. I have learned and/or remembered a lot over the last couple of weeks. First, I feel better than I have in a long time. I had worked so hard to suppress or hide these feelings and desires over the years, I realize now I was stiffling myself. Now that I have realized I'm OK and accepted that this is who I am I really am I feel beautifully free. Several friends and co-workers have asked what's going on because I seem to be happy and fun to be around again.
I thought I'd save money and bought some cheap generic forms from EBAY, (Yeah go ahead and laugh!
). They were supposed to be a C and I don't think they would have filled a training bra! I picked up a bunch of overtime at work so, I ordered a set of Gold Seals from BFS. I called them on Monday and told them I had to have them by Friday. They were here yesterday!!! Those folks are awesome. I had them delivered at work because they could not ship FedEx to my PO box. I just had to sneak them into the bathroom for a look.
They are incredible. I almost wanted to just say screw it and come out right then and there so I didn't have to take 'em off. I've never felt more feminine in my life. Years of suppresion fell away and I thought I'd faint right there. My 44C stuff won't hold them though. I'm going shopping for the first time to get some new bras. I am going to start at an all night WalMart with self check. (I know, I'm a chicken) I know now I definately have to go out during my "vacation". Even if it's just driving around or something. I've found a bunch of really good websites with makeup help. I'm only concerned about the eyes. It's been a while since I've done them and I wan't to get them right. I know I've kind of rambled but I feel like a teenager looking forward to the prom and just wanted to get some of this out. Any advice is still appreciated. Thanks so much, I'm so glad I found this place. It has really helped me realize I'm just me and I'm OK with that now and really like myself for the first time in years.
P.S. I'm slowly trimming my unibrow into shape a few hairs a day and no one has seemed to notice.
Thanks again.
Posted on: July 11, 2007, 02:31:23 PM
I'm so proud of myself! I had to work late so I didn't get to WalMart until later in the morning, around 9 am.
I was in my male work uniform pants and a tshirt. It wasn't really crowded, but far from empty. I was lost. I had no choice but get help. I walked right up to the first clerk I saw and asked for help.
I figured she'd at least give me the eye or something. She didn't even blink! She showed me to the brand of shapers I was looking for and I started looking through them. I felt so .... right. Like it was just what I was supposed to be doing.
Then she YELLS
across several isles to another clerk "Hey where are the Just My Size bras?". I had considered that event while lying awake last night at work, (I work 24 hour shifts), and figured I would just faint right there.
I just looked up at the other clerk, she looked at me kind of weird. I just smiled and then she just smiled back and yelled back to the other clerk where they were. I was so happy. I browsed around for about a half hour and got exactly what I needed.
I did use the self check, but the clerk there had to move a tote to let me get to the checkout. The shaper was loose and very obvious. She did give me a funny look but by then I didn't care. I am looking forward to shopping out more. It is a lot cheaper than the internet stuff I've been getting and I get to see it first and get what I want. I want to thank all of you girls for your support and encouragement. I've really started to find myself. Wanda.
