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How many Ex-es do you have before transitioning?

Started by Alisha, September 04, 2013, 06:29:38 AM

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Alexis Hennen

Had about 6 girlfriends between grade school and high school, none lasted that long as i too was trying too hard to be the man. funny how that never worked out. Then got married when i was 21 and stayed married until 4 years ago (I'm 43 now) after my suicide attempt i had to come clean to her about wanting to be a woman. she kicked me out after a few months. still working on the divorce bit. Since then i have been in a great relationship with a FTM man who is wonderful to me. I never thought that i could have a relationship with a man as i am attracted to girls.
Once you step through the threshold, your life will forever be changed...
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Tessa James

I am currently in a very long term relationship and monogamous but with a long full life already the numbers mean less to me than the love shared with some wonderful men and women.  My first female wife found me too feminine and even some boyfriends found me too twinky or shy.  I have little twinges of regret for not following up on these now obvious signals of my true colors.  Like so many others I simply hardened my shell, kept my fantasies tightly inside and redoubled my efforts to be a man.  I am just amazed at how easy it was to say bye bye to that guy and move forward.
I know a contentment now like never before.
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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Alisha

you guys must've been going through a hell of experience. i'm afraid to get old
Because God Made Me Special


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Teela Renee

I had five relationships, all of them lasted over a year to 4 years and always ended badly
RedNeck girls have all the fun 8)
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Tessa James

Quote from: princessemma on September 04, 2013, 12:09:46 PM
you guys must've been going through a hell of experience. i'm afraid to get old
Oh LOL and I mean it, you almost made me spit out my coffee.  It's inevitable that we age and preferable to dying young and pretty?
Fear not brave princess, the wealth of love and experience available to you is a wonderful palette of possibilities.
I trust you will then live a full and very active life.  Staying active and, that goes for loving too, increases your capabilities and wards off the ravages of time.  Gravity will have it's way with us but loving full and frequently never gets old!
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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JLT1

Quote from: big kim on September 04, 2013, 06:54:31 AM
25 ex girlfriends,3 1 night flings and about 12 flings/1 night stands with men.The longest anyone put up with me was 3 years.Never had a proper LTR boyfriend til I was post op

Change the man total to one.  Longest was married 10 years.   Only twice did I start the break up, they alwys dropped me.   I like women still.
To move forward is to leave behind that which has become dear. It is a call into the wild, into becoming someone currently unknown to us. For most, it is a call too frightening and too challenging to heed. For some, it is a call to be more than we were capable of being, both now and in the future.
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Northern Jane

Pre-transition, only one. We met in grade 7 and I fell totally in love with him. He was very much attracted to me but the fact that I was supposed to be a boy was a major stumbling block for him (he was afraid of being labelled Gay). We were extremely close for years and I am sure others thought the relationship was physical but it wasn't (except for one passionate kiss at about age 16). When I was away at my second year of college, I heard he was getting married and my world fell apart. Too bad nobody knew about transsexual back then and there was no treatment.

Post-tranition there have been a few. Two failed marriages, one short, one of 13 years, and a lot of boyfriends but I have never found that love again.
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Danielle Emmalee

I have one ex-girlfriend, and one future ex wife.  I've been intimate with 5 women and one man.  I am attracted to men as a woman and to women otherwise.  I expect my next "encounter" will be with a man.
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
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pebbles

1 Female... My most successful relationship I was involved with her for 3 years. age 17-19 Yes I did love her and she loved me for a time, but things change.
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BunnyBee

In trying to force myself to be the person I was expected to be, and that is def what it was about, I got myself into two different relationships with women.  I loved the friendship aspect of the relationships with both of them, but I wasn't able to be physically attracted to either of them, and not because they weren't very pretty, cause they were.  I still miss both of them, I feel sure we would be great friends if they knew me now.  I think I was asexual pre-transition and I think I am hetero now, but it is all a little confusing for me tbh, but I'm okay with that.

I learned one lesson through those experiences, which was if there is no physical attraction I won't put myself or the other person through trying to make a relationship work ever again.  I can deal with it not being a fun experience for me, but I can't deal with putting another person through that again.
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Joanna Dark

Quote from: Jen on September 04, 2013, 02:04:26 PM
In trying to force myself to be the person I was expected to be, and that is def what it was about, I got myself into two different relationships with women.  I loved the friendship aspect of the relationships with both of them, but I wasn't able to be physically attracted to either of them, and not because they weren't very pretty, cause they were.  I still miss both of them, I feel sure we would be great friends if they knew me now.  I think I was asexual pre-transition and I think I am hetero now, but it is all a little confusing for me tbh, but I'm okay with that.

I learned one lesson through those experiences, which was if there is no physical attraction I won't put myself or the other person through trying to make a relationship work ever again.  I can deal with it not being a fun experience for me, but I can't deal with putting another person through that again.

Stop stealing my experiences lol JK but this pretty much describes me. I remember my one friend told me that my ex told her one time that she didn't think I was attracted to her because we never had sex. We were more like really really good friends. Sometimes I want to call her. But I don't. I figure I should just leave her alone as I have done enough damage.
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Carrie Liz

^Sigh... likewise in my case. She always said that she felt unloved because I never initiated romance, and she was always the one who was interested in sex, while I was honestly ashamed of my own anatomy and never felt like doing anything. But the friendship was amazing between us, and I loved the emotional closeness, which is why we're still pretty much best friends and still living together despite the fact that she's dating other people now.

It's good to know that this is a common experience. I felt really bad about it at the time, and I was like "what's wrong with me?" But, well, I guess the answer should have been obvious.
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RosieD

8 girlfriends, 2 one night stands (hated those) and 2 wives (though not at the same time).

And one aching head from trying to remember that long ago.  ???

Rosie
Well that was fun! What's next?
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Danielle Emmalee

Quote from: H, H, H, Honeypot! on September 04, 2013, 03:36:54 PM
8 girlfriends, 2 one night stands (hated those) and 2 wives (though not at the same time).

And one aching head from trying to remember that long ago.  ???

Rosie

You specified that the 2 wives were not at the same time....does that mean the 8 girlfriends were? :P
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
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RosieD

Of course! I had a lot of energy when I was younger.   >:-)
Well that was fun! What's next?
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Christine167

Six girl friends and one wife over the course of my life. I've been intimate with five of those and am expecting an amicable divorce in the next year.

I also already have a child so I'm not too worried about starting a new family but rather keeping up with the munchkin that I have.
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Rachel

1 male during high school (4 year relationship), couple of friend with benefits 1 M 2 F, 7 or 8 years celibate, met and married my wife, 20 years till transition. I tried to suppress with all my tricks but in the end I had to become me and I just tricked myself. My wife too said she thought I was not attracted to her due to almost no sex, I did not initiate and sometimes declined (I feel so bad for her). However, in the last 6 weeks we are connecting and it is so amazing and I am there (not a black void) during sex :) :) :) She is taking the lead and realizes it really is me.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
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Erin Brianne

Two relationships for for...the first was 10 yrs and the second last almost 4 years..
@Cartie Liz....you just described my last relationship to a "T".
Live life one day at a time because tomorrow is not promised to anyone!!
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Ltl89

This is sort of sad, but I never really had a relationship nor have I ever been intimate with anyone.  I suppose at 24 someone should have experienced romance which sort of makes me a loser.  I have gone out on dates, but it never interested me too much.  I just don't like girls in that way and I'm not a gay guy. And intimacy is a major issue for me because I hate my genitalia and feel really uncomfortable about others even seeing it.  Hopefully all of this will change once my transition continues to progress.  It would be nice to have a boyfriend and be able to date like a normal girl.   
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Christine167

Quote from: learningtolive on September 05, 2013, 01:36:18 PM
This is sort of sad, but I never really had a relationship nor have I ever been intimate with anyone.  I suppose at 24 someone should have experienced romance which sort of makes me a loser.  I have gone out on dates, but it never interested me too much.  I just don't like girls in that way and I'm not a gay guy. And intimacy is a major issue for me because I hate my genitalia and feel really uncomfortable about others even seeing it.  Hopefully all of this will change once my transition continues to progress.  It would be nice to have a boyfriend and be able to date like a normal girl.

You are not a loser. Trust me. Forcing the issue and trying to date now that was a bad decision for me but I did work out a lot of lessons and know what to watch out for in guys/girls now. Luckily most of the girls I dated I am still on good terms with. I did permanently damage a few though and that was regrettable now that I know who I am.
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