Hi everyone! It is tempting to say something since I've been living as a lesbian woman for some quote a while now (about half a year after GRS/ since about one year and a half after starting HRT).
Penetration? Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes it's the strapie, sometimes a finger or two. A little more often, though, it is me who uses the strapie for my lovely GF (a leather one, perfect for the skin and for using several different dildos with it). Myself, I'm not that much into penetration (giving or getting –I don't consider terms such "active/passive" and "top/bottom" as appropriate). Interesting thing: wearing a strapon was a little "tricky" the first couple of times, to say the least. Back then I got some reminiscences of dysphoria, so I would advise anyone with a MtF background to get her mind as clear of dysphoria before wearing a strapon. Most of the times, however, we are very happy with manual and oral sex in different rhythms, plays and degrees of intensity.
The good thing: if we're going to have sex, we do not automatically assume we will have any kind of penetration but rather ask one another, before or during it, what we feel like doing at any time. And no, it is not an anticlimax, but rather the opposite. If our society were not that heterocentric (and heteronormative/heterosexis), that would be the case with many other women who enjoy men for sex. In fact, I know many heterosexual women who cannot achieve orgasm through penetration alone and some who do not even enjoy penetration as part of their sexual intercourse with men. Also, I know a couple of heretosexual men who enjoy having their wives or GFs penetrate them with strapons (yes, men have wholes too).
Being a lesbian says very little about a woman's desire for penetration. Want it or not, we live in a man's world and in a sexist one, and that means there are many myths and stereotypes around women's sexualities and woman-on-woman sex, while no one needs to ask, for instance, how two men have sex with each other or how a woman and a man do it. We should be careful with associations like "heterosexual – desire for penetration" vs. "lesbian – no desire for penetration". The world is a ->-bleeped-<-ing rainbow, with lots of colours and their many shades!
PS.- Inclusion of lesbian or bisexual women with MtF backgrounds, as well as of intersex women, in lesbian spaces is another topic in which stereotypes play an awful part. Let's rely on reciprocity and let's have everyone within the queer community challenge the ones that distort us all, especially queer women.
