So I was going through my Facebook feed, and I came across this. Normally I don't read the super long text posts, but something made me click on this one. Here's what it said:
BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER
Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a goodman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand newpair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfillinglife you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, butmy sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that'snot a problem.
Did you catch that bit at the end? Yeah, me too. This kind of incidental bigotry (kind of shorthand for "Oh, by the way, I'm a terrible person!") always left a bad taste in my mouth, but now it makes me want to find the person who wrote this and slap them. If this were a real letter (I'm pretty sure it's not, as most of these kinds of things are fake) that women would have either insulted her sister by assuming that her ex wouldn't find her attractive because of her trans* status, or she would have outed her, which could lead to her being killed by the angry ex-husband.
Should I even reply to this? If so, what do I say? I'm only out to my parents right now, so I can't just say that it offends me like that. Confusion...
