I mean don't get me wrong I'm happy for the ones who are becoming men and its know physically showing like any other male, But it bothers me also especially the ones who have supportive families which I'm lacking horribly right know, I don't know it's just bother, Its becaus I know some guys here have started T and are happy about it and have loving girlfriends and supportive families

I don't, really. I do have jealousy when I compare my transition against others. Like, where I was after 1 year on testosterone vs where some other guy was in his transition after 1 year on testosterone. Generally speaking, I was significantly slower in the social transition and physical transition department compared against others.

It took being on hormones for maybe 2 years before I was seen as male regularly where as many guys only need 6 months to a year.

I don't see why another mans transition would bother you. Their transition has not effect on your life at all? Another man having love and support bothers you? Would you rather everyone suffer as much as they can? Every mans struggle is different and you know I am glad some guys have loving supportive friends and family because I know how not having these supports makes a hard situation that much worse.

I'm envious, but at the same time I'm glad because it gives me hope that someday I'll look as good as they do, it will just take some more time.  Or so I tell myself.

I'm not jealous. I'm happy for anyone who has support, especially a supportive family. I had to move to a country thousands of miles away to be away from my family to transition. But I don't let that affect my happiness for others who do have support from their family. I wouldn't wish my situation on others, and i already know there's others in the same boat so I don't even want others to go through the same thing just to have commonality. It's already well out there.  Everyone has their own issues and they won't describe every one. There's plenty of folk on this forum that don't have supportive parents but this forum is here for people who need to interact and need support in some form or another, or have the desire to support others even if they don't especially need it themselves. If we were all jealous and secretly spiteful of one another whenever another person has something positive in their life that we don't, then the forum really wouldn't work so well.

I have some support, but for the most part I'm on my own when it comes to transition. I go to my appointments alone, I take care of myself alone, and I motivate myself alone. That's pretty much been my life. I'm not entirely sure if it's a good thing, but I'm used to it and it's 'normal' for me. I work hard to cut toxic people out of my circle so I don't have anyone specific that will drag me down. Sometimes attitudes bother me, though.
I do get frustrated and envious of other men who have a better body and more self control than I do. I battle with food addiction and lack of self control on a daily basis, and the illusion (because who really knows besides them?) that other men have it easier does bother me. I also get frustrated when I watch youtube videos and the trans guys have really doting spouses/partners who are active in their transition. I'm married, and he's supportive, but he's not interested in learning about or helping me with my transition. I actively worry how I'm going to take care of myself after top surgery, because I really don't believe he'll be very helpful and supportive. That's just not the kind of person he is.

Quote from: Brandon on September 09, 2013, 12:13:28 AM
I mean don't get me wrong I'm happy for the ones who are becoming men and its know physically showing like any other male, But it bothers me also especially the ones who have supportive families which I'm lacking horribly right know, I don't know it's just bother, Its becaus I know some guys here have started T and are happy about it and have loving girlfriends and supportive families

Yes 100%.  To be honest, I am extremely jealous of every single guy here who is in their transition right now, no matter what stage.  I get even more jealous of the guys that have supportive families and girlfriends.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but I know how it feels to seem like all of the good things will happen to everyone else but you.  I know how you feel about not having a supportive family.  I come from a Christian family and I know for a fact none of them will be supportive of me because of that.  People try to tell me "oh well, just give it time.  They may not be supportive now but they may in the future."  I think I know my family well enough that they will never support me.  As far as the girlfriend situation goes, I do get really down about that, because I do want to get married one day.  At times I wonder what the secret to some of these guys having supportive friends, families, and partners.

Despite all of that, I am deeply greatful for how far I've come since a year or two ago and I count my blessings.  I am thankful for being able to find an online gender therapist that I was able to pay out of pocket for (with only needing one more session to get my letter).  There are many guys out there who can't even afford gender therapy with insurance.  I'm thankful that I was able to buy a packer.  Some guys can't even buy one.  More importantly, I am deeply greatful to have internet in order to access this wonderful support site.  Some guys can't even get access to the internet.

What also keeps me going is having a plan, and knowing where I want to be within the next few years, and knowing what I need to do to execute that plan.  Heck some guys don't even have a plan.  However, a lot of the guys on T and transitioning here had a plan.  Throughout my two years being on this site, I've witnessed some of these guys busting their butt to get where they needed to be.  The blood, sweat, and tears some of these guys gave in order to reach their goals could fill up a swimming pool, and I respect them for that.  Except for the few guys that are blessed to have some sort of inheritance or other finacial blessing come their way, many of the guys here did not have their transition just fall in their lap, and I don't expect mine to fall in my lap either.

Also, I am a man of faith.  That's more important to me than transitioning for obvious faith-based reasons.  For me personally, what good is transitioning if I lost my soul?  When it comes to that, I don't give a second-thought about other's guy's transitions.  I won't go too deep into that since this isn't the spirituality forum, but I know that faith comforts me, since I'm not in transition at the moment.  I also know that faith will help guide me when I am ready to transition, because I can't do it without that faith (well I could, but I'm not).  Everything in it's appropriate timing perhaps.  Judging from your previous posts, you seem to be a man of faith too.  Use that to your advantage.

As for being single, well yeah that sucks, and oftentimes I do get lonely.  However, I'm not seeking out a girlfriend right now.  At this time, I'm focusing on myself.  It's the best thing I can do right now, getting to know myself through this process while I have this time to do so.  Again, being a man of faith, perhaps I may have a future wife in the appropriate timing, but I need to know myself before that happens.  Otherwise, it will be more difficult to take care of my wife.

I'm not too sure how this got so long, but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in your feelings.  Keep your head up man, for you aren't walking this journey by yourself.

I'm only jealous of the boys who have started hormone blockers at 10 and testosterone at 14 or something like that I'm jealous that their families are that awesome and that they dont need top surgery at all! But at the same time, I am really really happy for them 

I admit that before I was on T or able to transition, I felt a certain amount of envy and even jealousy towards guys on T/guys having top surgery/guys having bottom surgery, etc.  It's not easy being trans* - and for those who have little support or to whom it seems transition will never happen, seeing other guys having all of their dreams come true can certainly hurt. 

I know that I feel that way about other aspects of my life at times - people who have their own homes, nice cars, managerial positions, etc.  I have come a long way overriding and rising above those feelings, especially towards other trans* guys, but from time to time it comes back and I feel that little niggle.  But being able to start my transition was surreal because for so many years it felt like it would never happen - and now I look at guys not yet on T and see myself three or four years ago.  I have a greater understanding of what they're going through having gone through it myself - and I think that it's pretty normal to feel envy and even jealousy, especially when you're in the early stages of self-acceptance or self-exploration.

I didn't have support for the first few years of transition, and had to move out and do things on my own. I was extremely jealous of others, especially those who began their transition after me and I felt were ahead of me, and yes, of those with girlfriends too.

Once I started to settle into how things were going for me, and I had more progression for my own personal transition, the jealousy started to calm down. As logically as you can think about it at the time, i.e their life has no bearing on yours, and its better not to compare etc etc, it doesn't necessarily help your emotions at the time. But once you start to move forward in your own life and feel happier with how things are going, you see and feel things differently. Im not jealous anymore, Im happy how things are going for me, and you feel much more separated from anyone elses transition (I don't know if that's because Im only involved in the "community" through this site) but you find it easier to focus on the positives in your own life, rather than highlighting the negatives by comparing and glossing over what you should be grateful for.

I hope things soon improve for you and the way that you feel about things

I was for the longest time, and it's only really recently gone away. Like Nygeel, I seemed to move slower in terms of social and physical transition and it made me jealous and resentful because all I wanted was to be myself just like everyone else. But now I'm almost 17 months on T, I pass much better (well, that was easy considering I never passed at all, but now I pass almost all the time). I think my envy was also me just feeling like a "wannabe" next to other guys, both cis and transitioned men. My worst fear was that everyone around me thought "who is "she" kidding?" I actually thought about it this morning on the bus, cause I saw a man who was well-built, wearing dress clothes like mine, and taller than me. But instead of feeling like I was a "wannabe" in comparison, I actually thought "eh, it's just another guy." I didn't feel so insecure about my big belly or my short stature because next to him, I was just another guy, you know? That was definitely a huge step for me.

Sometimes I feel jealous of guys who have gotten things done earlier(blockers to prevent female puberty, got to live most of their lives as male etc) but then I just feel...indifferent for the most part. My life turned out the way it did, so I have to do the best with it and just take care of myself.

While I can see the allure of jealousy toward the guys who got to start their transition during their normal puberty, at the same time I feel like I benefited the most by growing up female. I've got some pretty amazing memories to hold onto for as long as I can that I would have totally missed out on had I been able to do things different.

I used to wish and be jelous of people who transitioned earlyer but not anymore. I consider myself lucky compared to many. I did transition pretty early, I only know 2 people who have transitioned earlyer than me speaking homones but not social. only thing somethimes pass my mind is if I had transitioned earlyer if my hips would had been smaller but theres no provement of that.

famely acceptence on the other hand makes me jelous, My famely is not that unacceptable actually, they do use my name and more or less right pronouce (they tend to shift between he and she) but still I dont feel there accepting of the activism and thing who goes to nonbinary. I know transguys who are very out in media and everything where there famely is totally okay with it but in my famely it abit drama and general your not suposed to "expose your sexualety".

Related:

Trans people with families that are genuinely supportive are so flippin' fortunate. Although my transition has been incredibly slow and stressful, having supportive family members would've made it a million times easier.

Quote from: Malachite on September 09, 2013, 01:20:37 AM
Yes 100%.  To be honest, I am extremely jealous of every single guy here who is in their transition right now, no matter what stage.  I get even more jealous of the guys that have supportive families and girlfriends.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but I know how it feels to seem like all of the good things will happen to everyone else but you.  I know how you feel about not having a supportive family.  I come from a Christian family and I know for a fact none of them will be supportive of me because of that.  People try to tell me "oh well, just give it time.  They may not be supportive now but they may in the future."  I think I know my family well enough that they will never support me.  As far as the girlfriend situation goes, I do get really down about that, because I do want to get married one day.  At times I wonder what the secret to some of these guys having supportive friends, families, and partners.

Despite all of that, I am deeply greatful for how far I've come since a year or two ago and I count my blessings.  I am thankful for being able to find an online gender therapist that I was able to pay out of pocket for (with only needing one more session to get my letter).  There are many guys out there who can't even afford gender therapy with insurance.  I'm thankful that I was able to buy a packer.  Some guys can't even buy one.  More importantly, I am deeply greatful to have internet in order to access this wonderful support site.  Some guys can't even get access to the internet.

What also keeps me going is having a plan, and knowing where I want to be within the next few years, and knowing what I need to do to execute that plan.  Heck some guys don't even have a plan.  However, a lot of the guys on T and transitioning here had a plan.  Throughout my two years being on this site, I've witnessed some of these guys busting their butt to get where they needed to be.  The blood, sweat, and tears some of these guys gave in order to reach their goals could fill up a swimming pool, and I respect them for that.  Except for the few guys that are blessed to have some sort of inheritance or other finacial blessing come their way, many of the guys here did not have their transition just fall in their lap, and I don't expect mine to fall in my lap either.

Also, I am a man of faith.  That's more important to me than transitioning for obvious faith-based reasons.  For me personally, what good is transitioning if I lost my soul?  When it comes to that, I don't give a second-thought about other's guy's transitions.  I won't go too deep into that since this isn't the spirituality forum, but I know that faith comforts me, since I'm not in transition at the moment.  I also know that faith will help guide me when I am ready to transition, because I can't do it without that faith (well I could, but I'm not).  Everything in it's appropriate timing perhaps.  Judging from your previous posts, you seem to be a man of faith too.  Use that to your advantage.

As for being single, well yeah that sucks, and oftentimes I do get lonely.  However, I'm not seeking out a girlfriend right now.  At this time, I'm focusing on myself.  It's the best thing I can do right now, getting to know myself through this process while I have this time to do so.  Again, being a man of faith, perhaps I may have a future wife in the appropriate timing, but I need to know myself before that happens.  Otherwise, it will be more difficult to take care of my wife.

I'm not too sure how this got so long, but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in your feelings.  Keep your head up man, for you aren't walking this journey by yourself.

On point exactly, Its so fustrating, Atleast the not having support part because other transguys may not even know how that feels, And I know for a fact that my family is gonna accept me to conservitive, Im a young man of faith also

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on September 09, 2013, 05:38:13 AM
I admit that before I was on T or able to transition, I felt a certain amount of envy and even jealousy towards guys on T/guys having top surgery/guys having bottom surgery, etc.  It's not easy being trans* - and for those who have little support or to whom it seems transition will never happen, seeing other guys having all of their dreams come true can certainly hurt. 

I know that I feel that way about other aspects of my life at times - people who have their own homes, nice cars, managerial positions, etc.  I have come a long way overriding and rising above those feelings, especially towards other trans* guys, but from time to time it comes back and I feel that little niggle.  But being able to start my transition was surreal because for so many years it felt like it would never happen - and now I look at guys not yet on T and see myself three or four years ago.  I have a greater understanding of what they're going through having gone through it myself - and I think that it's pretty normal to feel envy and even jealousy, especially when you're in the early stages of self-acceptance or self-exploration.

That's true

Well coming from one of the guys you are jealous of (supportive parents and completed medical transition before my 18th birthday), i can understand completely and i don't think you are wrong to feel jealous. I even feel that way sometimes about guys who transitioned before puberty and got to go on blockers. I try not to mention my smooth transition unless asked so I don't upset people or have them resent me.
Try to remember that just because this one aspect of their life went smoothly, doesn't mean they have a perfect life. I know it's easier said than done but keep in mind that jealousy will not change your situation.

Quote from: thatboyfresh on September 09, 2013, 12:29:51 AM
I don't see why another mans transition would bother you. Their transition has not effect on your life at all? Another man having love and support bothers you? Would you rather everyone suffer as much as they can? Every mans struggle is different and you know I am glad some guys have loving supportive friends and family because I know how not having these supports makes a hard situation that much worse.

I'm still young though so it's only natural, I have 0 support what so ever my family acts like the transgender thing doesn't exist literally

Quote from: mangoslayer on September 09, 2013, 02:05:01 PM
Well coming from one of the guys you are jealous of (supportive parents and completed medical transition before my 18th birthday), i can understand completely and i don't think you are wrong to feel jealous. I even feel that way sometimes about guys who transitioned before puberty and got to go on blockers. I try not to mention my smooth transition unless asked so I don't upset people or have them resent me.
Try to remember that just because this one aspect of their life went smoothly, doesn't mean they have a perfect life. I know it's easier said than done but keep in mind that jealousy will not change your situation.

i understand that but you don't understand my situation because you have support, No one has a perfect life but the guys who have transitioned have happier lives, Unlile mine which is pure hell, Because I know for a fact my mom will never see me as her son