I've always had problems with anxiety even before I discovered I was trans. Whenever I get a panic attack I just want to escape, run, get out of wherever I am at the time. Now it seems my panic attacks are tied into my dysphoria because lately I've started to feel the onsets of them when I start to feel dysphoric. The worst part is, I want to escape, but I can't. I can't run away from my own body and it makes me feel sick and trapped. Bluh both of these things suck and combined they're awful. I guess the only good thing is that I've been able to calm myself down during my panic attacks which I wasn't able to do last year. 

*hugs* Panic attacks are the worst.  Thankfully I haven't started getting them due to my dysphoria.  If I did it would get bad fast.  When I get them it is like I'm having a seizure cause I start shaking and my eyes roll back.  I can hear what's going on around me but I can't respond.  I'm sorry that you are getting anxiety though.

Oh wow your's sound awful. I just hyperventilate, have a strong urge to escape, feel like I'm going to die if I don't, and then break down into tears.

Eyes rolling back doesn't sound fun. *patpat*

It's ok, thankfully I don't get them too often, and when I have them I'm around my friend's who know just to hold me down and just talk to me. 

My panic attacks are totally internal. It's like a furnace burning really hot inside me. My thoughts just start going in a loop and nothing makes sense and I can't think straight and I feel like everything is spiraling out of control and there's nothing I can do about it and it's no use telling anyone because they can't possibly understand. I just stare off into space or down at my feet and people ask me if I'm okay and I just say "no" but it's hard to explain. They're the reason I don't smoke pot anymore because it triggers them if I get too high.

I still get mild ones occasionally but it seems like as long as I avoid drugs, they're brief and pass quickly enough.

I get them once in a while with rapid heartbeat, sweaty and a feeling of impending dread.  Usually controlled breathing and using mindfulness techniques bring it under control.  If this doesn't work I take a prescribed quick acting anti anxiety medication. 

Samantha

The trick to panic attacks is to NOT run away, as scary as that concept seems. I get them occasionally, for various reasons, often while walking in public. And sometimes it feels like I might die, especially when I can't seem to catch my breath. But I have to tell myself "OK, I'm just feeling some anxiety. It's there. It's just what my body is doing right now." I don't even go "it's OK" because that pressures me to be OK. Lol. I don't even try to talk myself through it really, I just say "OK, I have some anxiety right now." It was hard at first because I didn't believe it. It was hard to say "I just have this right now." I had to literally fake it until I make it, just keep telling myself "I have anxiety right now." Also, try to do it without ANY judgment on yourself. Speak of the anxiety totally neutrally. It's not a bad thing, not a good thing, it's just there.