Many of you before transitioning calculate how you will be able to have money to complete all your surgeries but how many of you jumped into the waters without knowing whether you will be even be able to complete all the surgeries. Me I started from scratch and absolute 0. I didn't even have money for laser and quality hormones before. I've been very lucky on my journey to get some people who helped me with boob job & some stuffs on face but I'm still struggling and don't know whether I will ever be able to reach my final goal. How many of you are in the same boat? Who among you jumped blindly too and how did you manage to get money to do your different surgeries? With a normal job can never have full surgery. The only thing i could do is buy a plane ticqet to get to a better country with a stronger currency and i'm exhausted struggling. it's taking an effing eternity!!! 

I knew if I didnt try id be ash being spread over the great lakes in due time.  So I just jumped and went for it. Its been tough, but at least suicide isnt always at the forefront of my mind anymore.

I just decided to start one day

I still have a long way to go, but taking it one step at a time

I guess I did, but more because I had no idea what a "complete list of surgeries" for me would even be - I knew I didn't want FFS or BA, but I can't swear I wouldn't have gone for either if HRT didn't help, you know? My only surgery ended up being GRS.

There was definitely money (and insurance) for hormones, and to pay for laser, so I was lucky as far as that went. As for saving the money, well... my wife did most of the hard work of figuring out where to scrimp and cutting our budget. I did take on two freelance second jobs to help save up faster.

Count me too, please . I just realised that if I am not going to do something about this all now, then sooner or later I will have to deal with it again... so I thought I would be better starting now - with better looks (more expectations ), better health and less common sense . I did a lot of things on budget (hair removal), the HRT turned out to be cheaper than I expected, but I still have no idea how to cover the SRS and some minor surgeries (trachea, nose - maybe I would need some minor brow burring too). I have some ideas which would cover about 50% but the rest.... ah well, lets keep going on and see what opportunities will present themselves in the future...
And if I will end with B cup size - and I hope I will, then I probably will never do the BA.

Oh yes it was an adventure. I knew nothing about anything when i started coming out and little when i started to shift to female presentation and hrt. I knew there was srs and legal ways to change name. But I was a student, no money at all and at first living with parents - after coming out then in a shared flat. I did not know how it would go, but luckily insurance covered a lot of the cost. laser was the biggest investment for me. I did not think i needed ffs or ba which are not covered unlike therapy, srs, hrt. Ended up doing ba though but that was affordable as we combined it with second stage of srs.
But to step back at first and plan? no way. no time. when you are thinking about how to arrange your room so that after your suicide everyone will at least know that you are actually a girl, you know there is no more waiting, so I jumped into transition.

I transitioned and had SRS in 1974, at the age of 24. I had the surgery as soon as it became available in North America and it took every penny I could raise (and some charity from the surgeon). There was no "normal path" back then and no list of surgeries but I wasn't going to live much longer without SRS - I just about didn't make it as it was! - so I just jumped. I had NO idea about the future so, like most people, I was willing to take it one day at a time and see where it led. I didn't have much facial hair so I didn't even do electrolysis until 20 years later but I did treat myself to a BA 8 years after SRS. Almost 40 years down the road now and that's all I ever had done.

Hmm - just saying - you DID transition much earlier didnt you, Jane? I read that in another post, that you had even HRT during puberty, so I would consider this exceptional as of course then you dont even get that dreaded facial hair.
But honestly, I know many more people who went into it "blindly" - its one of the markers of being TS I believe and the shrinks also have it on their list. That strong and unavoidable desire to go for it in combination with the thought that anything but that is leading to suicide. If one is that desparate - one will go for it - blind at first but quickly learning what has to be done and what can be done. I know a very few who did plan everything. They were more of the middle aged types. They actually had their coming out, then therapy sessions and then deliberatly chose the date of starting RLE, the timeframe until HRT and surgery and electrolysis and they calculated everything. To stay that much in control may only be possible if you have some decades of life experience. With 23 I had no such thing and just could go for the only option that looked like there is some light in the darkness...

Being in the UK and not wanting to jump through the NHS hoops (let alone the fact that they don't like giving HRT to the unemployed) I had little choice but to wait until I had the money to go private. I am extremely lucky and have money now so I should be fine being able to afford everything I need.

I for one just jumped in really without much of a plan. Money for HRT & living full time. I moved forward some however got set back/$/job. Then jumped back in & moved forward some, then set back. Then jumped back in etc...... Surely one day I will "get it right". It's a roller coaster ride.

I really had no choice, since early in life always female & hated having to be a "male". Some $ for HRT & started living full time as a nice pretty young woman. I was dating some nice men & really thought I might find a nice man to move in with to be his "woman" while I continued HRT & saved my $ for SRS to gradually complete my life. The plan worked some however relationships are difficult & men are unpredictible. Then I was left with very little $ & back supporting myself. However it felt good to try my best to become normal even though it did not work out. 

I wouldn't say I did it blindly as I did research a lot before I did it. but even so, I sort of had a half ass plan that I really didn't stick to and been doing it on a shoestring of a budget, so not really blindly, but surely a little sight impaired at least.

I think a lot of us do that because it gets to a point that we feel we don't have much of a choice anymore. The feelings get too strong and life gets too crappy to do otherwise.

I did not jump blindly. I have a family and had to consider them first in my life. So I researched heavily and started as soon as it became possible. Since then I have continued my finicial planning and it becomes a little more possible/affordable every day.

My biggest crisis right now is that I have to move out for legal separation to take effect and that means living on a tiny budget and using everything else that I make as a means to pay off debt and keep my credit score as high as possible.

So no blindness here.

I began transition, not knowing if I would ever be able to afford any surgeries at all.

I don't know if I had a "plan" but I have been dreaming about it since I was four so I hardly would think I jumped right in. If anything, I have been too much of a wallflower and waited to long lost and delirious, petrified of the consequences.

     Since I was so filled with self hatred for living a lie, and because I based my entire existence on the lie that I was a man when I was nothing more than a male impersonator, I attempted suicide three times. After my third attempt I realized I'd run out of excuses not to transition, and even though I was positive at the time of my 'decision' that I would never pass because of my weight, age and physical problems, there was no real 'decision' to be made. I had to at least really try to transition or my next suicide attempt would be with a gun and it would definitely be successful. My third attempt was on July 12th, 2011, and I quit drinking the next day, (12-16 beers a day, every single day!) ordered progynon depot and spironolactone and made an appt. with my primary care doctor so she could get me an appointment with my endocrinologist. I had no money to speak of, no plan other than starting on then keeping up with my HRT, stay off alcohol, go on a diet, and live under the radar till I had to tell my mom and brother once it became too obvious. I started buying a few ugly peasant blouses at Target, V and boat neck T-shirts at Penney's, 1X and 2X because of my weight, (I'm now medium, or size 8-10) and a few bras and panties over the internet. It had been at least 12 years since I'd worn any women's clothing and I weighed 150-155 then, and at transition I was 226, so I was at a loss on sizing myself, even though you can find sizing info all over the internet.
     I had a few miraculous things happen early in my transition that turned my 'plan' on its head. I began HRT on July 22, 2011, and when the opportunity presented itself I began living full time only 47 days later, before the hormones did anything physically beyond softening my skin a little, but what they really did was make me feel at peace, serene and happy for the first time in my entire life. My decision to quit drinking helped everything too, from losing ten lbs. within those 47 days, and feeling the effects of estrogen instead of a hangover was like heaven. My life isn't perfect and will never be, but every single thing in my life is sooo much better than I thought possible, so much so that I know God has been fundamentally involved in helping me become the woman I was always supposed to be. Hugs, Mira

I jumped in because I fear being any more manly than I already am. It was the only way to try and stop it. I have seen my future and the thought of becoming an old man was so disgusting to me I have to try and stop it from happening. I'd rather die. I thought I could do things over my life, like LHR and stuff and that it would alleviate that fear, but it wasn't enough. I don't know where it will lead.

Quote from: TiffanyT on September 16, 2013, 01:56:24 AM
I have seen my future and the thought of becoming an old man was so disgusting to me I have to try and stop it from happening. I'd rather die.

Oh, yes, totally this. I just could not stand the idea of becoming an old balding man with a pouch one day... The idea was indeed disgusting and depressing at the same time, plus there was something totally off in that whole scene . If I had to live as a guy, I would rather die young then.

Quote from: j on September 15, 2013, 07:36:31 PM
I think a lot of us do that because it gets to a point that we feel we don't have much of a choice anymore. The feelings get too strong and life gets too crappy to do otherwise.

Quote from: TiffanyT on September 16, 2013, 01:56:24 AM
I jumped in because I fear being any more manly than I already am. It was the only way to try and stop it.

Quote from: -Emily- on September 16, 2013, 02:19:14 AMIf I had to live as a guy, I would rather die young then.

Yes - that sums it up pretty well. I was noticing some hair loss at the temples with 23 so so way I would wait even a year longer. I could not stand it. Luckily I did not actually try suicide but the constant thought of it was bad enough. But thats so much of a common story - one waits for any reason for a long time (fear, doubt, social pressure, family, lack of information) until one day it just wont work anymore. It just doesnt. One hits the rock bottom and at that point it becomes clear what is going on and there is only one way that looks at least promising at that point and that is transition and then one can only go that way. In some of us this coincides with a general rock-bottom experience like Mirandas alcoholism she wrote about. So actually this situation is IMO one where one has to rely on faith a lot, what was called "going blindly". At that point, the faith that transition will work in some way is the only thing that keeps us going and hopeful - it does not matter how or even if we think it will work out. Lack of other options. To remain resonable enough to at that time plan everything, maybe even delay transition some more time for practical purposes - thats really tough and my respect to those who muster up that strength. I guess the knowledge that transition is in planning and will happen soon is what gives them new energy and hope enough.

I think we all do.

I ended up going for it because like so many others have said, there was no choice. Was it blind?

You bet.

Every day has been an adventure. In every sense of the word.

Quote from: anjaq on September 15, 2013, 06:01:18 PM
Hmm - just saying - you DID transition much earlier didnt you, Jane? I read that in another post, that you had even HRT during puberty, so I would consider this exceptional as of course then you dont even get that dreaded facial hair. .....

Yes, that's true. The desperation started to get really bad at puberty and I did DIY hormones for awhile but it was very difficult to get prescription meds then.

I started living part-time around age 14, whenever I could get away from my parents house but I quit about age 19 because going back was so damned painful. That time did, however, give me the very strong sense that life as a girl was a thousand times better than trying to pass for a guy and it also gave me the confidence that life as a girl (for me) was just totally natural.