today was my 5th therapy session.
it's been almost 2 months since i started seeing a therapist and she has been more than helpful. she really makes me sit down and think which is what i need.
about a week ago i really sort of solidified what i want out of life, where i want to be in 10 years and how i want others to see me. i came out to two friends of mine i plan to come out to one more soon.
things have begun to click. i think.
my therapist told me things would one day. and now i get why some people can't particularly answer the how did you know you were trans question. i had no idea and now here i am. everything in between is just this gross mess of confusion.
i think things started to sort of topple into place once i came to terms with my sexuality. that i like girls, but i just didn't see it as i am a lesbian. it feels natural for me to like girls, like who else would i like, i guess. im not saying being a lesbian is unnatural but there is a difference i think. i don't know, i feel more like a straight male than a lesbian. and once i came to terms with that things sort of just lined up. better. im still questioning things but it just feels less like a grey cloud of nonsense and doubt.
she mentioned today if i wanted to get on T i would be able to do so in january. that's so close.
i know i want to be a man but the hormones thing seems so immense. i don't know. i feel like, damn this is all happening. so fast too. ill get to be a man. the one i envision in my future. im surrounded with so much support, and im so lucky for that. i have the ideal set up for all of this and i couldn't be happier.
so things are looking better, im both excited and scared and thrilled and hesitant about what my future has in store. but hey that's life.
