Hello, my name is Stacy and I'm a mtf woman(pre-op). I have been out for about 2weeks to my Mom, one of my sisters and some friends. It's been a long time for me holding back my true self, but now I ask myself why I waited so long. I spent my whole life being so depressed when I just needed to let someone know who I was. I remember as a child and teen constantly being brought in to psychiatrists and psychologist for depression, but I never opened up. Even after some suicide attempts, I continued to shell. I was frustrating everyone that new me.
Last year again, I became dangerously depressed again. I said to myself this time,'you can screw up your life now or take control of it'. I decided to seek counseling and come right out with it to my counselor. I wasn't BS'ing around this time. I was going to 'take control'. I went in to my counselor and introduced myself as being transgendered. I never had built such a strong relationship before with anybody until that moment. It was liberating. I finally was happy and could see a positive future.
Coming out to my mother could have never went easier. She always wondered how I knew so much about skin care, and questioned some of my more androgynous clothing. For all of about 10 seconds she was shocked, but relieved. She told me she always wanted me to open up, but nobody could ever get me to. She guessed it when I was younger, as we recall her coming across my secret hiding places:o, but I went the male route only to protect my family. I am surprised that she is already calling me by my new name. I said that transitioning would be a costly affair for me, and she responded for me not to worry about that part. She's got that covered. WOW!
I told only one of my sisters. I have 2 other sisters that are going through some issues right now, but I guess that they will be accepting to when the time comes. The one I told was also very supportive from the moment I told her. She told me she would be by my side every step of the way and thats when the blubbering started. We cried over the phone about it and have been texting each other like crazy. I love her so much.
I told a few friends. Mainly those who I knew would be understanding. I feel it's important to me to have that support network in case someone I know might let me down. I'm also joining a support group very soon. I look forward to my first meeting!
Anyway, I look forward to any support I can get. It's an emotional time for me and quite an amazing time to say the least. Come back and say HI to me!
