As some of you know, I was raised Seventh Day Adventist, but didn't feel a connection to that religion, and ended up taking my own path in High School. I spent a lot of time with a lovely Pagan family and learned a lot about how I felt about spirituality. I have later come to realize that my views are pretty much what Sikhs believe, and have been reading up on the religion, making a (sad) attempt at learning Gurmukhi, attending Gurdwara, and I've decided not to cut my hair anymore.

I am the type of person who usually doesn't wear who I am on my sleeve. I'd rather not discuss my religious affiliation with people, my trans status, my political views, and so on. It's only with a select few people who I feel its necessary to discuss these things with.

That said, I've been pondering if taking Amrit is right for me. Amrit is basically the Sikh version of Baptism--after going through a ritual, you then become "Khalsa" (which is basically hardcore Sikh) and keep the "Five Ks" which are visible signs of faith, such as wearing the traditional Sikh turban or chunni. Wearing visible signs of faith is a big part of being Khalsa, because it obviously tells everyone who you are, kind of like a uniform, that way people in need know they can go to you for help (Sikhs are supposed to fight injustice, so if someone needs help, you're supposed to help them to the best of your ability. Unfortunately, in many places in America, the average person doesn't know what Sikhi is), and by wearig visible signs of faith its a way to keep you from doing bad things since it is a constant reminder of your vows.

Thinking about this, I'd know I'd have to "come out" as Sikh to family, coworkers, friends, etc. whom I normally wouldn't share this part of my life with. To me, it almost feels like I'd imagine coming out as trans would feel like (though a bit less scary lol). These are people who I can live with now without sharing my trans status or religious views with and feel happy and comfortable about that, but by doing something so visibly different from the norm, I'd be forced to "come out". I'd read about women who convert to Islam and start wearing hijab who describe it in a similar way: she has to sit her parents down and they're all scared as she tells them that she is planning on becoming a Muslim. For work, I've read of some who get scared and cry in their car for awhile before going into work wearing hijab for the first time.

It's not like I am ashamed, I'd be happy to wear a turban/chunni, I just don't like having to "explain myself" to people who I feel it's none of their business--kind of like how I would just love to switch over to wearing whatever clothing makes me comfortable and get on a low dose of T cream/gel and have no one think differently, and have no one ask me questions that I feel they are not entitled to ask. Sometimes, I go out wearing a headscarf, usually if I went to Gurdwara and am stopping someone on the way to or from, and I don't care what people think of me, and I never have to explain myself to people I don't know. I feel comfortable and confident, though I always take it off in the car before coming back to my house where I live with my family.

If I decide to take Amrit (my goal is to learn some more Gurmukhi/Punjabi, and spend a year at least attempting to do Nitnem daily before deciding), I'll just have to "come out" and get it over with.

Anyways, just sharing my thoughts.  Please comment if you'd like, or share your own stories.

Henry,
     I had taken note of how some of your clothing choices and things on the face of your page indicated some interest in Sikh beliefs. They, specifically the Punjabi's are an interesting people. I once worked for a Sikh man who wore a turban and seemed to have a mile of hair wrapped up in it. He explained how they never cut their hair, which brought to mind the story of Sampson and Dehlilah and left me wondering if these ancient practices, both being based in spirituality, aren't somehow connected.

I would imagine that your parents will have a prolapse over your decision but it is your life after all! One common thread that runs through most of the world's belief systems is that this world and this life as we know it is simply a hyphen in an eternal existence and that our inner being eventually moves on to yet another and hopefully higher level of existence once this body is worn out. If your parents raise the roof over your decision you might point this fact out to them and it may have some calming effect. I'll be interested in following your "transition" if you decide to move ahead with it.

Aww, hun, the Sikhi Faith is very beautiful, but do be aware that Sikhs are terribly conservative as well. Some even violently so. I think it would be okay if you are a binary-minded transsexual, but most Indian cultures don't look too kindly on those in between male and female, unfortunately. The concept of agenderism shatters their traditional views.

Both in the UK and in Canada, we do have a lot of Sikhs, and Canada has one of the largest Sikh diaspora in the world. You don't have to take amrit to express yourself as a Sikh. Most Indo-Canadians who were born in Sikh families generally don't take amrit, and just live their lives as much as possible, because being an amritdhari (one who has been baptised Sikh, or taken amrit) tries to follow a stricter life. You can be a sahajdhari Sikh, and just wear and iron bangle around your wrist, and just commit yourself to Sikhi principles. There is no conversion process into Sikhism. If you want to be a Sikh, then just start following!

Knowing how conservative Punjabi people are, I think choosing to be binary may be a smart decision first, if you ever also decide that you truly want to become amritdhari. For now, just be a Sikh, follow the principles, recite Japji Sahib regularly, go to the gurdwara once in a while, or like some people, once a week, etc. But if you are switching gender regularly, be very careful not to be recognised by the given community of the gurdwara. I am serious; I know a few gay Punjabi out there who have to play hide and Sikh when it comes to their lifestyles.

Just don't be a fundamentalist Sikh like those Khalistanis, lol.

Good luck on your spiritual path. WJKK WJKF!

Hi Catalina:

Yes, the Punjabi culture can be quite conservative, but I also live near a lot of "white Sikhs" (3HO), and they're a lot more open about stuff like that. And, I don't actually plan on transitioning to male.