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Anyone else feel so friggin ugly sometimes?

Started by Lara the Lover and the Fighter, September 17, 2013, 12:27:33 AM

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Lara the Lover and the Fighter

I've been feeling that way lately.  Just so ugly.  I know I'm not ugly but then again am I?  I mean, I was born with a man body, is it any wonder why that dress doesn't fit me right?  In art class they teach the different proportions of males and females.  Why can't I just draw myself they way I want to look; like her?  Why is my bodily appearance so important to me?

Help me remind myself and maybe yourself that we are beautiful!

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suzifrommd

Quote from: dr girlfriend on September 17, 2013, 12:27:33 AM
Help me remind myself and maybe yourself that we are beautiful!

All women are beautiful.

The condition of being feminine, however that happens to you, carries with it indescribable beauty. Without it the world would be a drab hard place.

Feminine comes in all shapes, sizes, and textures. If you are a woman (as clearly you are), what ever way you are is your version of feminine. It is no less or more beautiful than any other women's version, but it is unique and special because it is yours.

A nearly universal condition of womanhood is difficulty accepting ourselves as we are. That's a shame because we are so beautiful and wonderful that we deserve to appreciate what we bring to humanity.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Lesley_Roberta

Plain, I'd be ok being plain, I'd settle for being a total 5. I'd be more than capable of being yet another "I wouldn't hit that with your's Frank', instead of being told I was 'handsome' or the usual I seem to get, 'you sure have a wonderful son' aimed at my mother in conversation.

I want to look like calling me 'son' would be stupid, pointless, idiotic, clearly wrong.

I want to have an appearance that suggests I am clearly female, even if not appearing in any day dreams any time soon.

Well being TG is no treat, but becoming separated has sure caused me more trouble that being TG ever will be. So if I post, consider it me trying to distract myself from being lonely, not my needing to discuss being TG. I don't want to be separated a lot more than not wanting to be male looking.
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FrancisAnn

I know the feelings also. It just takes time & lots of estrogen I guess. Maybe a visit or two with a plastic surgeon.

Also MTF with still a ugly male body to try & change for the better. My breasts are improving however the rest of my body seems resistant to change. It's not easy for any of us.

Please have a great day, go shopping or paint your toe nails. It helps me kind of relax.
mtF, mid 50's, always a girl since childhood, HRT (Spiro, E & Fin.) since 8-13. Hormone levels are t at 12 & estrogen at 186. Face lift & eye lid surgery in 2014. Abdominoplasty/tummy tuck & some facial surgery May, 2015. Life is good for me. Love long nails & handsome men! Hopeful for my GRS & a nice normal depth vagina maybe by late summer. 5' 8", 180 pounds, 14 dress size, size 9.5 shoes. I'm kind of an elegant woman & like everything pink, nice & neet. Love my nails & classic Revlon Red. Moving back to Florida, so excited but so much work moving
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Shodan

I feel this way every day of my life. I have the body and face of a neanderthal, and I'm so afraid of trying to dress up because I don't want to see a gorilla in a dress when I look in the mirror. :(




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Shantel

This had a lot of bearing on me deciding to live my life androgynously and dropping the MtF designation for good. I know that it probably doesn't help to continue to look at the photos in "You look fabulous darling" either, because though I applaud the young women all 8's - 10's I do end up having to deal with my own meh reality. But then again, perhaps we can all be attractive in different sorts of ways resolving to be kind, considerate and loving to others so that any doggy looks may offset and alter any negative perceptions brought on by exterior packaging. I'm practicing smiling at other people a lot, it is disarming and works wonders!
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Alexis Hennen

I always feel so ugly.  I wish I never was introduced to a mirror. I was so excited a while back when i first heard of face transplants, just didn't turn out to be what I thought it was....
Once you step through the threshold, your life will forever be changed...
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Tessa James

"You are so beautiful to me, can't you see..?  You're everything i hoped for, you're everything I need.  You are so beautiful to me."

I let that song play over and over in my head to brace myself for another day of being out and about as a non passable thang.  I am occasionally startled by mirrors or photos that capture more of him than her as I feel so great inside and sometimes forget that most people do not see what i feel. 

I have countless experiences talking with traditionally gorgeous people who can still feel ugly.  Oh what we say to ourselves!  We continue to work on self acceptance eh?
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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Jennygirl

Sometimes, us women have bad hair days. Sometimes, us women have bad makeup days. Sometimes, us women have bad fashion days. Sometimes, us women have bad body days. It's all part of learning how to live presenting as a woman. How we cope with and/or sublimate those inevitable insecurities is what really matters.

There is no easy way around it. The later we transition, the more "catching up" there is to take into account. We have our work cut out for us even more than a cis gendered person. It's best to accept this than assume it will be easy to see oneself as beautiful all the time.

A few things usually pull me through a potentially "bad" day are:
• changing outfits
• wearing less makeup
• getting away from the mirror
• reiterating who I am irrespective of my gender through being active with hobbies, chores, or things that yield a sense of completion
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ErinM


Quote from: Tessa James on September 17, 2013, 01:01:28 PM
"You are so beautiful to me, can't you see..?  You're everything i hoped for, you're everything I need.  You are so beautiful to me."

I let that song play over and over in my head to brace myself for another day of being out and about as a non passable thang.  I am occasionally startled by mirrors or photos that capture more of him than her as I feel so great inside and sometimes forget that most people do not see what i feel. 

I have countless experiences talking with traditionally gorgeous people who can still feel ugly.  Oh what we say to ourselves!  We continue to work on self acceptance eh?

This x 1000. Even before I started transition I had to learn how to focus on the few things about my looks that I was actually OK with and to be able to focus on that.

Sure there will always be a lot that I'm not happy with, but I've learned the most important thing I can do is look into the mirror and say "you look good today" and believe it.
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Erin Kay Howell

I cry when I hear myself speak

really

I am almost to the point of never talking again... This is what give me a bad day/week/month/omg my voice is disgusting
I know who I am, and no one is going to tell me otherwise anymore.



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Renee

I feel that way most of the time and often tell myself so when I do look in the mirror. I try to offset how negative I am about my looks by at least dressing nicely and presenting myself as best as I can, even if I'm not so good looking.
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Rachel

I too find mostly fault in my appearance, voice and height. I do have nice green/brown eyes :)
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
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TerriT

Oh God yes. All the time. Usually I just down the lights as much as possible and hope it goes away.
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Aina

Hey! I don't think I like you guys calling yourself ugly. Only people who are ugly IMO are those who are cruel and cannot learn to be nice. Not everyone can be society's version of "perfect" and Honestly I find people who are not more pretty, more attractive and more beautiful.

The world would rather be boring if we all had perfect noses, hair, eyes faces, voice shape ect ect!

So embrace your uniqueness and see you are beautiful!
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V M

I've never considered myself an attractive person, I usually think I look like crap and/or I look crappier than I usually look

I see my flaws that I would like to correct and probably like most people I am too self critical

I just try to not obsess over it
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Lara the Lover and the Fighter

You all are amazing.  I would expect nothing less from some of the most spiritually, mentally, and physically advanced people on the planet.  I truly believe that.  I typed this up then went to bed feeling so depressed.  Big man head, big man feet, man this man that.....

Today I met a CIS woman who was so very old.  She was limping a bit and also had her left arm in a sling.  He days of beauty and grace were long behind her.  Still, she smiled at me as she struggled to put groceries into her shopping cart with one hand.  She was so happy!  I'm not usually the chatty type but we talked for a while holding up the line in Wal Mart.  I helped her with her bags but she helped me even more by transposing her happiness, in spite of her physical situation, to me.  She was amazing!  An angel.

This is what I want to be.  That enormously happy old woman who could barely walk and with only one hand to use who's presence penetrated me.  This is the true definition of beauty and this beauty is what I constantly see here with all of you.  We all have our own physical situations (although for some of you that situation is being wildly attractive :p ) still we get up everyday and stand up to a world that may or may not agree with us.



We just have to remember that we are all beautiful even though it is sooooo easy to forget!  Thanks for the reminder everyone.

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Judiana

yes i'm 32 years ugly, cant fix it anymore if someone is curious about me, i've posted a pic in the transsexual thread, then everyone can see why i'm ugly
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Jamie D

It saddens me when I hear people talk about how ugly they are.  Sure, we have members here with congenital issues, some with strongly male facial features, some (like me!) with maddeningly male fat distribution (i.e. beer belly).  I really do believe though, that beauty is not just bone structure, hair color, and makeup.  It must have a component from within as well.
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