Sorry if there's another topic like this but I thought I'd go ahead and post, since it might help someone else.

I wont be starting testosterone any time soon but I was wondering how you deal with needle phobia? When I get my blood drawn I have no problem with needles at all, but when I'm getting a shot I freeze up and start shaking/whining like an idiot. When I do start hrt I'd like to be able to inject myself at home. And tbh I really don't want to use gel because it's more expensive/it can rub off and I don't want someone else to be exposed to it.

Unfortunately I don't think xanax would help me. It doesn't really affect me at all. Are there any other anti-anxiety meds that work better? Or any techniques I can do to calm myself?

Know that you're far from alone when it comes to this. For the first few months on T I had my gf give me the shots in my glutes. I'm a cancer patient so you'd think I would be used to needles, uhh it's different when you're sticking one in yourself. I've been successful at giving them to myself in the thighs weekly for months now. The first time I sat on the couch and refused to put down the syringe until I did it. I held onto it for 3 hours to the point the numbers and lines were rubbing off the tube, lol.

The first time was bad and I think it was because I had worked myself into a tizzy over it. Second time I was a little nervous but only took about an hour for me to get it done. Then I started putting a music video on the laptop and my goal was to have it in, injected, and out by the time the song was over. Having something to concentrate on like music helped. Now it's almost second nature. I can draw it up and have it injected in 3 or 4 minutes without thinking, no music or any diversions required. I developed a ritual to it per say. I do it the same way each and every time (except rotating legs) so it really requires little thought.

It's a mental thing and you'll get through it. It's really less painful for me to do it to myself than to let someone else. That's a big plus with me and what motivates me to do it. I also learned a "bounce" method that I use and have shared with a few on here that has helped some. I've posted it numerous times (It's a YT video I came across) so if you'd like a link to it feel free to pm me.

<interns trundle through with the unconscious Devlyn on a gurney>

In your case it would probably be best if you (at least at first) get a family member or friend to give you yours in the glute. And I'd also recommend you to try laying on your stomach so you can't see anything or get apprehensive. It's the element of surprise that will most likely prevent you from getting the way you do otherwise for shots (it's probably seeing it that triggers it). Eventually that should go away. For me I don't feel ANYTHING in the glutes so I have a family friend do my shots (mom is terrified of hurting me so won't do it even though I tell her she's being ridiculous because I really can't feel anything there. She still won't). In contrast, I hate doing it myself in the quads. I can feel every tiny little thing and worse, I can't do it quick because I do have a mostly irrational fear of involuntarily tensing up and having it break off... or else hitting something I shouldn't. So I always have to do it relatively slow (kind of 'sinking it' instead) and that obviously feels a lot less nice than a quick 'jab'. Yeah, it's just really better to use the glutes instead. You'd have to be drunk to hit the sciatic nerve in there whereas there's a lot more nerves, ligaments and vessels to hit in the legs and those feel especially bad to hit (IME).

Anyway. When I was a kid it took a few people to hold me down for shots and blood draws. I wasn't scared, just pissed off lol. That went away in my late teens. I just bite my tongue a bit and it's over.

I also second the music. I use music when I do it myself. It does help.

Hmm I don't have experience with T, but I do have some experience with growth hormone. When I got shots I would usually have my mom or sister do it because my muscles are very twitchy. My first shot I was a little scared (around 11 or 12), but as time went on it got easier. I didn't start giving them myself until I was 15 due to time issues. I gave myself shots even though my hands have muscle spasms, which makes the shots more painful, but it was worth not having to rely on my mom or sister's schedule. I totally get the freezing up part, but the key like Si said is to distract your self and/or give yourself a deadline. I preferred the shots in my legs/butt area rather than my arms.

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on September 19, 2013, 08:29:35 AM
<interns trundle through with the unconscious Devlyn on a gurney>

You guys are going to have to call the posts "how to deal with the 'you know what' phobia". Devlyn really can't handle all this!! 


I don't like needles that's one reason I am on T-cream.

--Jay

I've been wondering this myself and thinking I may resign to the gel anyways if possible. I have a blood injection injury phobia. All needles have the same effect. I don't feel afraid at all or have racing thoughts or anything. My body just... reacts.  My heart rate drops. I get hot with cold clammy skin. My limbs start to fall asleep because of the lack of blood-flow. I get dizzy and nauseous and sometimes have "digestive issues" or may throw up. I haven't passed out yet, but the chance is definitely there. Needless to say, I'm not sure it's a good idea for me to self-administer shots. All that said, there are therapies that can help people get over phobias. This might be something I will look into. It's an expense, but may save money over time if it's a similar issue for you as it is for me. Best if one of the above suggestions help though. They all sound like really good ideas if it's something that might work for you. Just wanted to add in that therapy is also an option if it comes to that.

I am a needle phobia success story.

I also had a huge problem with shots and drawing blood when I was a little kid. I would hide and run away. I stopped freaking out like that when I got older of course, but I was certain there was no way I could ever do a shot myself.  I was sure I would be one of those people that would be tied to a clinic to get my shot each time.

But! There was a solution. The subcutaneous injection. You can inject into the fat on your stomach. It is so, so easy. The needles are small too.

I don't mind needles, the pain is what gets to me though I know the drill, it doesn't last forever, just a pinch for less than 30 seconds and you're okay.

Quote from: Asa on September 19, 2013, 01:55:24 PM
I've been wondering this myself and thinking I may resign to the gel anyways if possible. I have a blood injection injury phobia. All needles have the same effect. I don't feel afraid at all or have racing thoughts or anything. My body just... reacts.  My heart rate drops. I get hot with cold clammy skin. My limbs start to fall asleep because of the lack of blood-flow. I get dizzy and nauseous and sometimes have "digestive issues" or may throw up. I haven't passed out yet, but the chance is definitely there. Needless to say, I'm not sure it's a good idea for me to self-administer shots. All that said, there are therapies that can help people get over phobias. This might be something I will look into. It's an expense, but may save money over time if it's a similar issue for you as it is for me. Best if one of the above suggestions help though. They all sound like really good ideas if it's something that might work for you. Just wanted to add in that therapy is also an option if it comes to that.

There are two things to do about this short therapy to deal with needle phobia, which seems a bit much imo.
1. You can get someone to give you your shot. There is no law (and yes, you are "trans enough") if you don't want to do this. There is no kind of problem getting someone (such as a nurse at the doctor's office) else to give your shot.

2. You could also take t-cream or t-gel. It is more expensive. The t-cream is a cheaper. I pay $80/2 months for t-cream, which is I don't maybe triple or quadradruple what the shots might cost. Still, to me, it isn't horrible. I don't mind applying the cream. There are SOME people who do not absorb it but there are people who are transitioning who never take the shots ever and still do ok.

Sorry Devlyn, not going with my own advice. LOL


--Jay

Hey everyone, thanks for the advice! I think I'll have a good strategy ready when the time comes.

Quote from: Si on September 19, 2013, 05:50:20 AM
The first time I sat on the couch and refused to put down the syringe until I did it. I held onto it for 3 hours to the point the numbers and lines were rubbing off the tube, lol.

Though I can definitely see this happening in my future..

I have a terrible needle phobia, I had cancer a few years ago, have tattoos and facial piercings, but by the gods if I'm getting blood taken I wig out completely. It's just a thing that I have, I'm not entirely sure why, but I absolutely hate them despite the fact that I should be well used to them by now. I'm five months on T but I'm using the gel rather than the injections. Some people told me the gel isn't as good as the injections (plus you have to apply it daily) but according to my doctor, my T levels are very good and he'd rather keep me on the gel than move me onto injections at all. So the gel could be an option for you if you think the needles will be too much

I'm only terrified of them when they're in my hand and I have to stab myself. How did I cope? I had a temper tantrum and then drove to the doctor and told him to put me on cream. I LOVE rubbing cream into my shoulders and upper arms after a hot shower. It's just another 'beauty' routine for me, now instead of this fear inducing, panic attack triggering event.

Now that I've settled in after moving and have made a few friends, two of them have medical training and know how to give intramuscular injections. I feel confident letting them do it if it came down to shots being my only choice.

hypnosis - worked like a charm, cost me 12 USD.

Phobias are subconscious and hypnosis works on the subconscious level.

http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/fears-phobias/needle-phobia