I have been sometimes, yes.  I'm just more comfortable being myself when I'm out than I am trying to play 'man'.

Quote from: SciNerdGirl on July 29, 2013, 11:18:42 PM
I Know, right.  The first time I bought something girly was a jar of nail polish.  I used a self check-out and my heart was beating like crazy. 
J.

I was in the middle of a dilemma like this when an epiphany hit me at seeing this guy grab a lipstick and nailpolish off a shopping list.  He rolled right through the checkout aisle and I caught myself in envy of him.  "Now that's a fearless one," I thought.  Then it hit me - he probably wasn't buying it for himself!  He was getting it off a list, and despite the fact that the checkout clerk didn't see him with the list, he didn't even think twice about it, because it wasn't for him!

There's a quote I like by RW Emerson (aside from the one in my signature) that says, "Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine."  It occurred to me that the only reason I was so afraid of what I was going to do was because I knew what I was doing!  That guy didn't even realize that what he was doing could be construed as weird, because to him it had a totally "normal" explanation!

I realized that what I was doing was totally normal to me, and finding myself in that moment I realized that no matter what we ever do, people will explain things to themselves based first off what they see, and secondly by how they see us do them.  If we look like we're doing something 'naughty' people will assume we are.  If we look nervous and shifty like we're doing something not normal, then - guess what, they'll look for the explanation as to what that is.  If, however, we look perfectly normal (because it is normal for us) then most people won't even pay attention to the situation, and if they do (and care enough to even register they are) then they'll explain it as having a perfectly normal explanation.

It's like the reverse of the Three's Company effect.  In that sitcom (I'm dating myself I know) a guy was living with two girls and the landlord would always hear something going on in the worst possible context even though what was happening was innocent.  It was the main gag of the show.  Most of our situational cues come from the behavior of the people in them, not from the situation itself.

Since then, I've been not just comfortable buying things for myself, but it's let me be happy doing it!

Quote from: Jaelithe on August 12, 2013, 02:50:24 PM
While there's some truth to that, I'm less concerned about purchases than I am about being caught in the(legally) wrong changing room.  That being said, trans women do need to be aware of what people around them are doing, more than cis women.  There is a lot of trans hate still, and while legal protections are beginning to be more normal, that tends to be an 'after the fact' kind of thing.

I totally agree!  However, I think the reason people have a hangup with changing rooms and restrooms comes down to the fact that there is a sexual connotation to the area.  Men think that they don't want someone who's going to peek at them while they're doing whatever, and women .. well women think the same but I have the sneaking suspicion it has more to do with the waiting for a stall than anything - we have enough girls to fight with, who wants men involved too!

But it never bothered me - since I'm bi, no matter what choice society makes, that kind of thinking means they've made the wrong one and society will just have to trust that I'm on my best behavior.  Frankly I think anything aside from a coed restroom with a bazillion stalls being available only promotes pee dances and sexual repression.

Ok, no laughing ladies.


I went to buy make up once. Told the clerk it was for my grand daughters school play.  Unfortunately, she asked what the play was and I had no clue what to say. I think I made up some story about jungle animals.

Quote from: Debbie55 on July 30, 2013, 04:26:18 PM
For some reason I find it harder to return stuff than to buy it, probably because it feels more like admitting " yeah it was for me, and no it didn't fit" lol.

That reminded me of a couple of times I returned some stuff and got a reaction. Keep in mind that in boy mode I look very Joe average and unremarkable, and both of these happened in boy mode.

The first time I was retuning some bright red "do me" strappy high heels that were too small to a well known retailer. Of course they have to examine the merchandise to make sure that's its not damaged and I had braced myself for that. She pulled a shoe of of the box, gave me a look, said "huh - some shoes!" and gave me my money back. I was glad to have that done and left in a hurry.

The other time happened just a few days ago at the same retailer. I was returning some blouses that I had bought online that i didn't like. The lady processed the return and then said "she put this on her American Express" - why, yes, she certainly did! LOL......

I've returned lots of other stuff and haven't really ever gotten much of a comment.

In the beginning I used to just 'ignore' anyone who had the 'freak' vibe pointed in my direction. Like one time at Walmart I remember distinctly that a man with his daughters was like 'shielding' them from me, like they'd catch something. I felt a little uncomfortable, but mostly because of being embarrassed for his low brained mentality.. I had guys making aggressive gestures toward me all my life, and got beaten up lots etc.. so now as things have mostly disappeared, I've let the 'ignore' blinders down more and more and mostly feel comfortable... Good luck.

Quote from: SciNerdGirl on July 29, 2013, 01:41:07 PM
So, I was at Target today, and I bought some girl clothes.  PJ top, two PJ bottoms and a skirt.  The thing is, I was in "guy" mode (Have never had the nerve to go out in "girl" mode).  I felt like a freak (Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs sort of freak).  The thing is, I usually use the "self" check-out when I buy girl stuff, so I don't need to interact with anyone.   However, Target doesn't have a self check out, and I really wanted that skirt and PJs.   So, after much courage building, I went for it and checked out.  I can only imagine what the girl at the checkout counter was thinking (I'm sure she was thinking the same thing I was...."Freak").

I'm sure my experience is not unique, I guess I'm just looking for a little support.

On a plus side, I had enough adrenaline flowing through my blood that I was able to jog a full 3 miles today (instead of my usual two) at a solid 6mph clip.

J.

One thing that sales and checkout employees are typically taught is that money is money no matter who it is coming from and stores are usually about making a profit.  For all the checker knew you were paying for your girlfriend's, daughters, etc. purchase.  Typically people are too busy with their own lives to notice however if someone who looks like a guy is trying on women's clothing, that is going to be more noticeable.  This is one area where you can't care what other people think and like I mentioned earlier, stores typically are about profits and money talks, and bad store employees walk.

I've worked in retail, and I've actually seen transwomen and transmen in the stores and yes I've served them at times.

I had a Transwoman who was about my age when I was working at dichmanns shoe store, She was midway transition I think she might have been passable at some point in the future but at the time she wasn't. I doubt she knew about me I was stealth at the time.
Personally what I thought was "D'awww she's gonna be such a cutie!" careful not to smirk because it might be misconstrued as you laughing at her.

While you want to say something and compliment her or say how she isn't alone, I remember from the roles begin reversed that the best ego boost you can give her is to simply smile and say.
"Hello Miss, Would you like these in a bag?" Make no big deal at all. and see her eyes light up.

So yeah you don't know what the clerk is thinking.

One of my coworkers asked later " OMG Was that a man or a woman you just served?" I played the trans-ally thing. "I think she was transgender, but so what? it's not a big deal these days."

I finally worked up the nerve to go buy some new girls jeans, and I went to the little store that I buy my boy jeans from (as male) and it was so funny I was the only customer so like all four of the ladies there where helping me they even helped me figure out what size I would need in girls from the boys size and opened up the dressing room for me! It was so great, so you never know when the employees will just not care or sometimes they surprise you and are crazy nice and helpful.

And they have different little name things for the dressing rooms, like rock star, runway model and princess. And when I have gone there to buy boys jeans they always open the rock star one, but that time she opened up the princess one I was sooo happy but I didn't say anything.

Quote from: Blastradius on September 21, 2013, 12:38:05 AM
I finally worked up the nerve to go buy some new girls jeans, and I went to the little store that I buy my boy jeans from (as male) and it was so funny I was the only customer so like all four of the ladies there where helping me they even helped me figure out what size I would need in girls from the boys size and opened up the dressing room for me! It was so great, so you never know when the employees will just not care or sometimes they surprise you and are crazy nice and helpful.

And they have different little name things for the dressing rooms, like rock star, runway model and princess. And when I have gone there to buy boys jeans they always open the rock star one, but that time she opened up the princess one I was sooo happy but I didn't say anything.

Awwww.. I love this!!! YES!!!

I love love loved that feeling of being taken under any girls' wing and getting to feel like a member of the girl club. SO GOOD! Geez, I may have to de-transition just so I can re-transition I miss those days!

Quote from: Jennygirl on September 21, 2013, 04:16:40 AM
Awwww.. I love this!!! YES!!!

I love love loved that feeling of being taken under any girls' wing and getting to feel like a member of the girl club. SO GOOD! Geez, I may have to de-transition just so I can re-transition I miss those days!

LOL  Good luck with that.

Ain't gonna happen, hon'

Quote from: Jennygirl on September 21, 2013, 04:16:40 AM
Awwww.. I love this!!! YES!!!

I love love loved that feeling of being taken under any girls' wing and getting to feel like a member of the girl club. SO GOOD! Geez, I may have to de-transition just so I can re-transition I miss those days!

Yes total!.

Ahh  de-transition? Forget it it Sis!!!! You have not a hope in hell!

One day this will happen to you, it has for me recently

You go in to buy a really expensive gown, and you are the customer.

You just stand as they dress you, make sure the heels are the right height for the dress, the look, the temp hair do is OK ish ( do we need to bring someone in? "No, she is tall enough for us to see the concept": THE CONCEPT.

That's me! Gulp Me I'm a Concept

Guess what no one mentioned anything about my past, a Hell of a lot of dirty stories about the soon to be future though!!!!

Ahh girl talk.

And no it wasn't a wedding dress



Relax ladies

Quote from: Jennygirl on September 21, 2013, 04:16:40 AM
Awwww.. I love this!!! YES!!!

I love love loved that feeling of being taken under any girls' wing and getting to feel like a member of the girl club. SO GOOD! Geez, I may have to de-transition just so I can re-transition I miss those days!

I would love for this to happen to me.  Don't think it ever will, but it is such a wonderful thought and it warms my heart when I hear stories like this.

J

What a hoot

Of course I'm not going to de-transition!