Somebody said this to me the other day. I had no idea what to say. She kept misgendering me even though I introduced myself as a guy and then she said that. I mean what the hell? Why would somebody ask that? I'm completely full time now, and it's made me really paranoid about passing. I'm aware I probably don't pass, but I'm really trying. I don't know what else I can do. Everyone is probably thinking it, she's just the only one who had the guts to say it. 

Quote from: Joey. on September 20, 2013, 06:39:00 PM
I mean what the hell? Why would somebody ask that?

Because, some people are jerks who have to make others feel bad in order to feel better about themselves.

Some people might be questioning your gender, but I guarantee you, if anyone else heard that, they were probably more thinking "what a ******" instead of "yeah, she's right".

Just keep doing what you're doing Joey, I know you're working on getting your medical transition rolling, so for now, just think about what a horrible life she's going to have if she doesn't learn some etiquette.  It's hard to get a good job if you lack the ability to censor yourself.

I am sure you handled yourself well in this encounter, don't let her get to you.

The world's a sad, sad state when people are so disgusting that they actually ask others those kinds of questions.

A security guard made a big deal out of sir? madam? sir? erm? Madam? -ing me. :-( In front of a group of people. I was very embarrassed. He then went on to get very angry with me about it.

I dont know. Lack of sensitivity I suppose? No empathy? Inability to understand the thoughts and feelings of others or to value them? Douche? :-P

Quote from: Akira21 ♡♡♡ on September 20, 2013, 08:59:35 PM
I dont know. Lack of sensitivity I suppose? No empathy? Inability to understand the thoughts and feelings of others or to value them? Douche? :-P

I'd go with Option F - All of the above.

Joey, don't mistake tactlessness and flagrant belligerence for guts. They're very different things. Keep going. There will come a point where you can walk by confidently, happy and secure in yourself, and people who make those kinds of comments will be worth little more than your sympathy and perhaps pity. *hugs*

The more telling question in such scenarios, and one which it's not a bad idea to arm yourself with, is: "Why do you care so much?"

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on September 20, 2013, 07:34:16 PM
The world's a sad, sad state when people are so disgusting that they actually ask others those kinds of questions.

Yeah, precisely.

She's an idiot, and I'd make some effort to distance yourself from her as much as possible.

Yeah, I have found that this helped me a bit as I walked into a room, scared stiff about the stares and reactions.... I thought 'ok, brain, show me the peoples who's opinion of me I really value in this room (which was often a room full of strangers I will never see again, but not always)  ... Hmmmmm exactly.... nobody'.

People can be stupid mean sometimes. You don't deserve that treatment but I don't have the faintest clue about how to avoid it. I'm read as male pretty consistently but because I'm often openly trans I get it occasionally. It's not legitimate questioning, it's just boorishness.

I used to flirt - hit on women who tried that on me 

Say something like, "Why? You like that?"

It's because some people really don't believe you can be born with the wrong body, I confused for a stud lesbian from my own family it happens

I always say that unless you are trans* yourself or are super close (and accepting) to someone who is, it's almost impossible to understand.