I went to SSA during my lunch period to update the gender and the name on my social security card. I had been gathering documents for weeks, including waiting most of a month to get a letter from my doctor. Before I went, I reread all the instructions to make sure I didn't miss something. I used to be a software engineer, so I'm really good at reading specifications.
The highlights of my visit there:
* The letter from my doctor has to have his medical license number and the place where his medical license was issued. (These requirements were NOT listed on the social security website).
* They won't accept my legal name change because the seal is not embossed. I need to go to the courthouse and beg them to emboss it for me (don't even know if they do that). This requirement was also not on their site.
* They needed to "research the policy" to determine whether I was eligible for a gender change, since I hadn't had surgery. She wouldn't believe me when I said surgery was not required.
I didn't accept this last one. I was led back into the cubicle farm to speak with "the supervisor".
He spent 40 minutes in my presence, poring over policy document. At one point he informed me that I hadn't "completed my treatment" for gender change. I asked what that meant and he proceeded to tell me how I had to calm down, and that he expected respect from both his employees and the public (I hadn't said anything disrespectful, other than ask him a clarifying question).
I asked him again, what I had to do to "complete treatment." Once again he told me I needed to calm down. He started explaining to me all the requirements one more time.
After listening to the lengthy explanation, I asked him STILL ANOTHER TIME what I needed to do to complete treatment. He said, "Oh, forget about that".
He then proceeded to ask my about my surgical status. I told him he can't ask me that. He said, oh yes he could, but I could refuse to answer (which I did).
In the end they sent me away without making either the name or the gender change.
I can't get my driver's license changed or my name in my employer's payroll records without a change to my Social Security records, so the entire process of changing my id is on hold. I have no confidence that after gathering all this stuff (including hounding my doctor for another month to get a letter with all the necessary documentation) won't produce the same result with some other, equally obscure requirements not adhered to.