My thread on my 'downstairs mixup' got some great feedback and gave me lots to think about so I am going to throw another thing that bothers me out there,

I present full time, private and public BUT I am still afraid to wear skirts and dresses in public. I have been told I have great legs but somehow even though it is blatantly obvious to anyone that looks at me that I am transgender I just can't make the jump from female trousers/leggings etc. to skirts and dresses.

It drives me crazy too because I LOVE wearing a nice dress!

Maybe I am just afraid of being laughed at, or maybe it goes a little deeper than that, I guess it could be a bit of a milestone when I finally manage it.

I think this is a straight confidence issue.

First time you do it - done.

Go and do the grocery shopping wearing a denim skirt, dressed down like all the other woman doing their shopping.

It will all be over.

My only denim skirt is 'trailer park' length lol, might have to find soemthing that covers the bottom of my ass first >.<

dress your age!

you won't be wrong and you will be almost invisible. Look at the women of your
age and your body structure. Copy them. It is not so exciting, because you
may have different opinions on fashion, but women tend to judge other women
on how they adhere to a tacit fashion code.

My impression is that you may also have a beard shadow BUT if you dress and
act correctly for your age you are welcomed with a smile, ever. You can be
face-perfect, good make up, but if you dress like you were a teen, and you are 40,
well, that's a call for trouble.

Bottom line. Dress and skirts OK, but with an eye on your birth date.

Im not full time yet but one thing i found helps get over that in public fear is going out late at night. I have a movie rental place with a 24/7 drop box so ill wait until 2am when most people are sleeping and will go return a movie in something that im really nervous about wearing in public. Granted this really doesn't help with swim wear, but do it a couple of times in a skirt or dress and eventually you will have the courage to do it when the sun is shining and your going to rent a movie instead of return one.

Also one trend that will help with that mini skirt is a pair of capri length leggings under the skirt and either flats or flip flops.

I was terrified even with my awesome self esteem and confidence the first time. I built it up so big, it compared to the Titanic sinking twice! Well, the day came, I did the best I could prepping, used age appropriate clothing, drove to the store and went in. I entered feeling a spotlight was on me the whole time with bells going off like the fuel warning in my helicopter. I told myself what the heck, took a deep breathe and relaxed. The second person I saw looked at me with that long stare (you know what I mean). Well, I looked back the same way like I was curious about him. Then, I don't know why, I winked! That's right, I winked! Don't ask me why it just happened. He looked like a deer in the headlights of a semi-truck on the highway. When he regained his composure he actually laughed and said "you got me with that one (the wink). We then had about an 8 minute conversation and I felt like a weight the size of the Empire State building was removed from my soul. After that we parted and I finished my shopping even staying longer than I planned. Morale of the story, mess with them too! After this happened I breezed through the next visit and the next. Now, I don't get a butterfly one. It is VERY liberating. Good luck baby and give them heck!

I started with a khaki "skort" - I then moved on to a long demin skirt and now I wear skirts/dresses at least 3/4 of the time (mostly skirts since you can mix/match the tops).  As Cindy said, it was just a matter of getting a little confidence.

my best advice, dress you age

Judging by your profile pic, if you wear age appropriate clothing I don't think you will be noticed..

Something to make you feel better..

Legs is something we have an advantage on over g-girls.. as men generally have better legs than woman.. that why they often use male legs on pantyhose packaging. So us transgirls will carry our better legs over as woman...

The first time I wore a skirt it public, it was a long ankle length skirt.. No on really looked at me.. even when I wore a mini skirt in public for the first time, no one really said anything.. one man did check my legs out... but then I was 21 at the time. I love wearing short skirts... as I love showing off my legs

I have to second the other's about dressing for your age and the situation. Sometimes a difficult balance, especially for a beginner to sort out. A task made all the more difficult if you are young. But plenty of other women are in the same shoes as you. Often finding or having in your closet that perfect outfit for ______ is impossible.

In my case I have nearly the opposite problem, trying to lessen my skirt and dress wearing. At 6 ft tall and somewhat big boned I feel I need to present as unambiguous female presentation as I can possibly muster. But over time and with increasing confidence I have found that Joanne can do casual, even slum it at times like just running off to the grocery store.

The first time is ALWAYS the hardest

You always could wait till St. Patrick's day and wear a kilt....so many others will be wearing one that no one will notice lol

Best ice breaker for me was to get dressed, go out to the car (hey, no harm in that, right?)...Go to a small "mom and pop" gas station when no one's around (like at 4am)...and buy two items, like a pop and candy bar (you decide the items before going in).

In 3 minutes it'll all be over, and you're safely back in your car (don't lock yourself out, though...I *always* carry a spare set with me, once is too many times LOL!) After that, it'll be no problem to go into an actual grocery store and buy a loaf of bread and butter...Lather, rinse, repeat as needed.

I had to dress smart and do some public speaking today at work, and I decided to wear a skirt to work for the first time.

I was also scared, which is silly considering how I dress anyway.... It was good. I wont worry toooo much next time, so.... :-)

Quote from: Akira21 ♡♡♡ on October 05, 2013, 10:57:40 AM
I had to dress smart and do some public speaking today at work, and I decided to wear a skirt to work for the first time.

I was also scared, which is silly considering how I dress anyway.... It was good. I wont worry toooo much next time, so.... :-)

Public speaking *and* wearing a skirt for the first time!?! OMG, where's my chill pills...LOL

Quote from: Beth Andrea on October 05, 2013, 11:03:37 AM
Public speaking *and* wearing a skirt for the first time!?! OMG, where's my chill pills...LOL

:-)

Gotta walk before you run

Like many are saying, pick options that are low impact, a walk at night and on a Sunday when activity is dead will help. Go to a donut shop and enjoy a coffee and just sit there and enjoy the experience. Most people will come and go and be too interested in getting in and leaving.

Pick supportive locations if you feel a need to ease into it.

Wearing a dress in a woman's fashion store would be logical, and only females will be there routinely.

Then again, the reverse might hold true, going to a hard ware store will mean fewer females who will not be easy to fool will be fewer.

Either way, picking the time of day is key. Going out precisely at dinner time on a slow day means the streets will be a lot more quiet.

But you are suffering the same problem I deal with. I am over critical. Likely seeing things that are not there. Presuming everyone I pass will even give a damn. Picturing people laughing that hadn't even noticed me at all.

And besides, I find myself all the time looking at cis females and thinking to myself, 'does she even own a damned mirror?'. You might be looked at as a women and still looked at negatively in some cases. We women are a very judgmental lot

I'm still a dress virgin, but I wear skirts all the time. I have great legs and look fabulous.

All women are beautiful. (Really. I promise. If you saw a picture of me you'd say "meh," but I can look at myself and see beauty). Get in touch with your own beauty. It's there. All you need to do is find it.

I also second the dressing your age and dressing to blend (the ass-short skirt is, as you noticed, a bad idea ).

There's a cashier at our grocery store who's over 6 feet tall, big hands, receding hairline, and actually has a bit of *beard* (not just shadow), but because she has the attitude that she'll be 100% accepted as a woman, there's no question from anyone. (I don't actually know if she's trans, but the odds seem against it.) So the trick is to at least fake confidence; if you act edgy and keep staring around looking for a bad reaction, you'll attract more attention than if you just act like you own the place and *of course* you're a woman in a skirt. I know, easier said than done. But I swear paranoia got me clocked more often than anything else.

I like to say that for me "passing" is like spending a fake note.

If you have a fake 20 Euro bill and you want to spend it you must be confident. If you are scared that it will be found fake you are asking for trouble.

Poker face, dress your age, do not stare into others (but notice if they stare at you: they
are the most honest judges), and you're done.

I been living full time and going out wearing skirts for at least a year before starting HRT now I don't even think about it when going out in a dress or skirt my experiences  no one will look at you twice and give a dame and after you have done it you your think to self what was I worried about I travel on public transport all the time in a skirt
just do it your be fine

Quote from: Akira21 ♡♡♡ on October 05, 2013, 10:57:40 AM
I had to dress smart and do some public speaking today at work, and I decided to wear a skirt to work for the first time.

I was also scared, which is silly considering how I dress anyway.... It was good. I wont worry toooo much next time, so.... :-)

Reminds me of my first week FT. I had to give a lecture to 200 medical students with my new name and new me. The week before I had given a lecture to them dressed as a guy.

I survived, there was no bolt of lightening and the Earth did not open and swallow me.

Never had a problem ever since!

Congrats on giving your presentation, I do know what it took!