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How to choose a therapist?

Started by Gina_Z, October 05, 2013, 12:50:50 AM

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Gina_Z

How does a girl like me find and choose a therapist? What credentials should they have? Is your therapist a man or a woman?
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Xhianil

I'm wondering this too for in a year or two when i can get one, never thought to ask though, good question!
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Cindy

This seems to vary from place to place. Where I am the therapist is a psychiatrist with an interest in gender issues. In the USA it seems to be all sorts of things.

The gender of the therapist makes no difference to therapy, it is purely your preference. My initial therapist was male, he was great. My current therapist is female, she is great as well. Then again they are professionals in their field.

What do you need therapy for? Be careful here. The role of the therapist is to help you. If you have issues that need dealing with they need to help you deal with them.

If you have a psychiatric co-morbidity they need to help with that. It is often overlooked but the suicide rate in post SRS MtF is essentially the same as in pre, that implies there are is a significant group of gender dysphoric people who need help dealing with their lives beyond straight gender issues.

I had and have no issues, I needed letters to change name, gender ID etc on legal documents and of course to access HRT and surgery.

Good therapy is something to help you, not to hinder you.

Make sure they have experience with gender dysphoria, that they are aware of the WPATH standards of care. They are qualified to treat and refer you.

On meeting them that you are comfortable with them, yes you will be nervous.

A good therapist can probably be picked by an opening statement from them. Along the lines of: "Hello, what name would you like me to call you? I do not care how you present for our meetings as far as presentation clothing is concerned. Please dress in whatever clothing you are comfortable to present publicly in"

After a session ask yourself if YOU are comfortable. You may feel confronted, but are YOU comfortable.

What are your expectations, set the boundaries that you want, ASK.

Where I am for an adult it will take a total of one hour and forty five minutes to be recommended for HRT if there are no issues to be dealt with. One 45min and two 30 min discussions. This may of course take several weeks to get the appointments, so in practice it is about 3 months.

Where I am (South Australia) I have to keep seeing a psychiatrist by law until after I have surgery. I see her for 20 mins every 3 months. Last time we talked about Game of Thrones, this time probably the finale of Breaking Bad. I have nothing to be treated for and she knows it, we have meetings to cover the law so I can have surgery.


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Jenny07

I was lucky but did my homework.

My GP who I knew had experience and I had been seeing for years was the starting point. I used to live in the heart of Sydney's alternative scene even though I had nothing to do with it.
I asked for a referral to a therapist as I needed to discuss sensitive issues. I didn't have the courage at the time to speak up.
She gave me a name and a referral that I sat on for 8 months while I procrastinated.
We connected, this is very important and I raised the gender issue at the end of the first session. I have seen therapists who were nit so good.
Any descent therapist should know or at least be able to guide you to someone who can help.
Lucky for me she had had experience and knew exactly what to do.
Last week I saw a gender therapist and now have E. It took a few sessions all up from the start but it seemed almost too easy.
Fear was my biggest issue, but being able to talk about it made such a difference.
Medical professionals can't read our mind, so have confidence and don't be afraid to open up to them if you trust them.

I hope this helps

Jen
So long and thanks for all the fish
  •  

Eva Marie

I had recently moved to a new area and I knew nothing about the therapists here. I asked a new friend who is local to the area and is undergoing therapy who she used and she made a recommendation. I had also earlier gotten some pointers from another trans friend that seen many therapists in her past and she told me what to look for and what to avoid. I went to this therapist's website and ran down my checklist and she had everything that I was looking for, especially WPATH.

The next step was to make an appointment and see if I liked her. On the first appointment she said exactly what Cindy wrote about what name did I prefer and that I could come dressed as I wanted to. She made me immediately feel comfortable, which I really needed in order to open up and feel safe about it.

So mining my trans friends for information worked for me.

And yes Cindy, I usually leave her office feeling a bit confronted but that's what I pay her for  :laugh:

~Eva
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mrs izzy

Quote from: Cindy on October 05, 2013, 04:24:35 AM
This seems to vary from place to place. Where I am the therapist is a psychiatrist with an interest in gender issues. In the USA it seems to be all sorts of things.

The gender of the therapist makes no difference to therapy, it is purely your preference. My initial therapist was male, he was great. My current therapist is female, she is great as well. Then again they are professionals in their field.

What do you need therapy for? Be careful here. The role of the therapist is to help you. If you have issues that need dealing with they need to help you deal with them.

If you have a psychiatric co-morbidity they need to help with that. It is often overlooked but the suicide rate in post SRS MtF is essentially the same as in pre, that implies there are is a significant group of gender dysphoric people who need help dealing with their lives beyond straight gender issues.

I had and have no issues, I needed letters to change name, gender ID etc on legal documents and of course to access HRT and surgery.

Good therapy is something to help you, not to hinder you.

Make sure they have experience with gender dysphoria, that they are aware of the WPATH standards of care. They are qualified to treat and refer you.

On meeting them that you are comfortable with them, yes you will be nervous.

A good therapist can probably be picked by an opening statement from them. Along the lines of: "Hello, what name would you like me to call you? I do not care how you present for our meetings as far as presentation clothing is concerned. Please dress in whatever clothing you are comfortable to present publicly in"

After a session ask yourself if YOU are comfortable. You may feel confronted, but are YOU comfortable.

What are your expectations, set the boundaries that you want, ASK.

Where I am for an adult it will take a total of one hour and forty five minutes to be recommended for HRT if there are no issues to be dealt with. One 45min and two 30 min discussions. This may of course take several weeks to get the appointments, so in practice it is about 3 months.

Where I am (South Australia) I have to keep seeing a psychiatrist by law until after I have surgery. I see her for 20 mins every 3 months. Last time we talked about Game of Thrones, this time probably the finale of Breaking Bad. I have nothing to be treated for and she knows it, we have meetings to cover the law so I can have surgery.

Well put. Ditto to all of this.

All i would add is check you local LGBT centers in the area you are, this will give you the best insite to who to stay away from. Also check forums like this for any list's of possible therapist in your area.

Good luck, they are out there, you just need to do like others say "do your homework"
Izzy
Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
  •  

Gina_Z

Quote from: Cindy on October 05, 2013, 04:24:35 AM
This seems to vary from place to place. Where I am the therapist is a psychiatrist with an interest in gender issues. In the USA it seems to be all sorts of things.

The gender of the therapist makes no difference to therapy, it is purely your preference. My initial therapist was male, he was great. My current therapist is female, she is great as well. Then again they are professionals in their field.

What do you need therapy for? Be careful here. The role of the therapist is to help you. If you have issues that need dealing with they need to help you deal with them.

If you have a psychiatric co-morbidity they need to help with that. It is often overlooked but the suicide rate in post SRS MtF is essentially the same as in pre, that implies there are is a significant group of gender dysphoric people who need help dealing with their lives beyond straight gender issues.

I had and have no issues, I needed letters to change name, gender ID etc on legal documents and of course to access HRT and surgery.

Good therapy is something to help you, not to hinder you.

Make sure they have experience with gender dysphoria, that they are aware of the WPATH standards of care. They are qualified to treat and refer you.

On meeting them that you are comfortable with them, yes you will be nervous.

A good therapist can probably be picked by an opening statement from them. Along the lines of: "Hello, what name would you like me to call you? I do not care how you present for our meetings as far as presentation clothing is concerned. Please dress in whatever clothing you are comfortable to present publicly in"

After a session ask yourself if YOU are comfortable. You may feel confronted, but are YOU comfortable.

What are your expectations, set the boundaries that you want, ASK.

Where I am for an adult it will take a total of one hour and forty five minutes to be recommended for HRT if there are no issues to be dealt with. One 45min and two 30 min discussions. This may of course take several weeks to get the appointments, so in practice it is about 3 months.

Where I am (South Australia) I have to keep seeing a psychiatrist by law until after I have surgery. I see her for 20 mins every 3 months. Last time we talked about Game of Thrones, this time probably the finale of Breaking Bad. I have nothing to be treated for and she knows it, we have meetings to cover the law so I can have surgery.

Thanks Cindy. That was a wonderful response. I don't think I need help beyond gender issues. I think I need encouragement and support for making a transition. I don't want someone who tells me to dress like a barbie doll. I think good chemistry would be nice. I have a long list of therapists and their credentials vary a lot. Like some are like social workers or counselors and others are psychologists and very few are psychiatrists. Does that matter? I know psychiatrists can prescribe HRT. But I guess the others can refer me to an endo? What's an example of 'boundaries'? I too would like to get letters, HRT, and SRS. I do have an issue with getting rejected while I transition, but who doesn't?
     None of the short statements by these therapists mention WPATH standards, so I guess I can start by sending them emails about that. They all state that they treat transsexuals. Thanks again for the insight. Gina
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Gina_Z

Quote from: Jenny07 on October 05, 2013, 05:04:48 AM
I was lucky but did my homework.

My GP who I knew had experience and I had been seeing for years was the starting point. I used to live in the heart of Sydney's alternative scene even though I had nothing to do with it.
I asked for a referral to a therapist as I needed to discuss sensitive issues. I didn't have the courage at the time to speak up.
She gave me a name and a referral that I sat on for 8 months while I procrastinated.
We connected, this is very important and I raised the gender issue at the end of the first session. I have seen therapists who were nit so good.
Any descent therapist should know or at least be able to guide you to someone who can help.
Lucky for me she had had experience and knew exactly what to do.
Last week I saw a gender therapist and now have E. It took a few sessions all up from the start but it seemed almost too easy.
Fear was my biggest issue, but being able to talk about it made such a difference.
Medical professionals can't read our mind, so have confidence and don't be afraid to open up to them if you trust them.

I hope this helps

Jen

I agree that trust is a really important ingredient. How did you get E? Didn't you need to see a endocrinologist?  Is your therapist a psychiatrist?
  •  

Gina_Z

Quote from: Eva Marie on October 05, 2013, 07:39:30 AM
I had recently moved to a new area and I knew nothing about the therapists here. I asked a new friend who is local to the area and is undergoing therapy who she used and she made a recommendation. I had also earlier gotten some pointers from another trans friend that seen many therapists in her past and she told me what to look for and what to avoid. I went to this therapist's website and ran down my checklist and she had everything that I was looking for, especially WPATH.

The next step was to make an appointment and see if I liked her. On the first appointment she said exactly what Cindy wrote about what name did I prefer and that I could come dressed as I wanted to. She made me immediately feel comfortable, which I really needed in order to open up and feel safe about it.

So mining my trans friends for information worked for me.

And yes Cindy, I usually leave her office feeling a bit confronted but that's what I pay her for  :laugh:

~Eva

Unfortunately I cannot mine my friends. I do not know any transsexuals. The people I know are here at Susan's Place. I am so happy that her website exists!! I'll add a few more exclamations !!!!!!!  What did your friend tell you to look for or avoid? Gina
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Jenny07

Gina

My Doctor, GP and therapist knew the right person to send me too.

He is a gender therapist and has a PhD so knows his stuff. Turns out looking at his card he is also an endo.
He wrote the prescription then and there in the session, as blood work had already been done prior to the session.

I guess I was lucky having the support I stumbled across, it was all too easy. Well not really stumbled across as I knew they would all be more than helpful which is how it turned out.

Once I had the confidence to talk about and been able to know what I wanted, things have moved so fast.

That last bit is the hardest. :(
So long and thanks for all the fish
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Eva Marie

Quote from: Gina_Z on October 05, 2013, 11:53:25 AM
Unfortunately I cannot mine my friends. I do not know any transsexuals. The people I know are here at Susan's Place. I am so happy that her website exists!! I'll add a few more exclamations !!!!!!!  What did your friend tell you to look for or avoid? Gina

Gina-

Making trans friends has always been difficult for me too. I made all of my trans friends online first by participating in threads and finding out who was local to me and then arranging to meet them locally in a non-threatening setting when possible. It's an uncomfortable and lengthy process but that's the way I did it. Another thing that I did was to set up a facebook page for my female self and once I had made some friends I looked them up on facebook and added them.

To answer your question I searched through several years of old email I had saved and I can't find "the" email where my friend made the recommendations. I do remember most of what I was told to look for however. The #1 thing is that the therapist follows WPATH. #2 applied to how I thought that I was back then but it's relevant now to genderqueer folk and that is to find out if the therapist had ever worked with someone that needs help but isn't transitioning. Some therapists seem to have a one size fits all box and they think that the solution for everyone is transitioning. #3 was to find a therapist that was a psychologist with a PHD. #4 was to run if they pushed me in any direction that I was not comfortable with. And it seems like there was some other advice about the methodology used by the therapist but I really can't remember much about what was said about that.

I also had a requirement of my own which was to work with a female therapist. Telling a man all of my secrets was just seemed uncomfortable to me (no offense meant to those of you with male therapists - that's my own personal issue I have to deal with).

Once you have vetted the therapist's qualifications then the next step is to have an initial consultation and see if the two of you "click". You will be spending a lot of time on that couch and will be navigating through some very uncomfortable things so your trust must be there.

Good luck with your therapist search!

~Eva



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Megumi

I searched online for any therapist that specializes in LGBT issues. I only found 1 about 40 miles away so fingers crossed I hope she is a good fit for me and my needs!

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