I hate that damn thing and I want it gone.
The act of intercourse before my "rebirth" always seemed unnatural, awkward, and wrong....like trying to paint a picture with mechanic's tools (Even though I was apparently pretty good at it).
But it has been many, many years now since I have even tried. I don't have any desire to use what I was born with at all...even satisfying myself is impossible.
I won't even consider a relationship, or sexual satisfaction again until I have the proper parts. I realize this will be a few years from now, and I'm fine with that, if a bit impatient. I want to live as a whole person, and I bitterly regret not realizing or admitting to myself what was wrong with me years ago. So much of my life wasted trying to be something that I am not.
I only hope that it is not too late to live a normal life now, once this deformity has been corrected. I would rather die in surgery than live like this.