As I work for a San Francisco company, they had a coming-out process at work; to accomplish this, I wrote up a 'Transition Plan' and was assigned a mentor, another woman who had transitioned at work a couple of years ago.
As The Day approached, I practised in front of the mirror, crammed voice exercises and made a nervous nellie of myself.
The Day dawned cold with driving rain, trees down. 'Good cover' I thought. Woke at 5:30, breakfast at 6, bath 6:30, dressing and redressing. Enormous run in stockings. Put on the black instead, even though it was more appropriate to evenings, not the office... back and forth in front of the mirror... 7:30 now.
Placed my hand on the doorknob of the hotel room, took a few deep breaths, opened it.... and came home.
Work was uneventful. Got some compliments, someone said it was nice to see my smile finally. There were a few people who seemed to avoid me; I never saw them; lol. But otherwise it was business as usual. A few things I learned: in the consulting profession we have to let our confidence show to an often nervous, sometimes negative customer. So it also applies to coming out: just relax and let your confidence show. Sure people are going to read you: especially people who knew you before. So just be positive, enjoy yourself and have fun... and the world will follow along. Oh, and this sounds trite... but be a woman. We cooperate, sit closer, groom each other... you will run into this wherever you go. If you participate, you will be accepted by women at large.
Friday rolled around and I flew to San Francisco, and took advantage of an extended layover to have lunch with Ann of Romantasy Corsets and a mutual friend: a ladies lunch, yakking for hours. They noticed the lost kitten look on my face when we were walking up and down the San Francisco hills... I learned the hard way that 4" heels are fun on level ground but maybe not for strolling in the City. They took me to a shoestore and helped me pick out some Sensible Shoes... ahhhhhhhhhh.
Dinner was with the lovely Connie McEntee, (author and fellow geek who posts to Susan's), at a nice Italian Mom n' Pop restaurant near the airport.
Home on the red-eye... thank goodness I sleep well in airplanes. Warm smiles from the ladies who see me every week in the airline lounge in Boston; freshen up in the ladies room, a light breakfast and then on home.
The weekend was similarly paced. Picked up my son and brought him to my aunt's house for the weekend. With my mom many years gone, my aunt has assumed that protective role. She's had a couple of months to adjust to the idea of Karla; the only difference this weekend was a dress instead of jeans and an androgynous plaid flannel shirt. Oh, I should say dresses... I modelled everything I had... everything. She gave me a lot of tips and adjustments, condemned a couple of blouses to the goodwill, gave me a jacket and a scarf. We played scrabble, drank wine, cackled and had a day of girl fun.
Wow.
I'm back at work, still digesting everything. Just about every moment is rich with sensation and meaning. I could never go back.
