I just found out one of my close friend is death. he comitted suicide.
I feel very angry and sad and confussed on it all, I feel I cant do anything, and disgusted for my nation cause I belive his death is due to how transgender are threated in my countrys.
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to get the story
We got to know each other on a chatsite around a year ago. we talked everyday more or less. he where mtf and I ftm He where from Norway and I from Denmark, during the time he decided he wanted to detransition.
In Denmark and Norway the only option for transgenders to transition is to go thought something called SK. its a threatment-center who deals with people of sexual problems. like people having problem with there sexlife, hypersexuals, people who are attracted to children and such things. for some strange reason transgender has to seach for permission there where we are to show up to various conversations and be jugded on everything. if we are lucky we may get permission and if not its too bad, the whole procces may take years.
its a very binary procces, where you can be refused for not being "trans enough" if your too femenine, maculine, had a diffrent kind of sexualety and all kind of stuff. many are being refused and many simple refuse to go there because they feel the threatment is humiliating or too binary to even fit them.
He had already been there as he transitioned into mtf and he hated it, We agree that insteed of him going there again he should go to a doctor I knew in Denmark which where very proffesional and nice. He helped alot of transgender people who had been refused by the SK and felt lost.
He came to Denmark a few times to get homones he been very happy. I where in doubt if detransition where the right thing to do, but after seeing his happyness I where sure it was the right choice and I knew the doctor where the right one for him.
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last month I got a mail from him that the Norwegian SK had sended him a message that he should have a meeting with them.
they gave him all kind of bull->-bleeped-<- about "NOW you are a woman! I made you a woman, you cant go back and forth, you cant be both, look how bad it can turn out" as they knew he took homones in denmark.
they said if he followed there threatment he may get the homones at there place. it would take 4-6 years of therapy maybe. He said it where ridiculous and he couldnt even be sure if he would get this permission.
I told him it where ->-bleeped-<-ed up and he shouldnt do it, but later in his mail he said he had to do it cause he feared he never would get the permission to get the homones and it would be a nightmare to be illigal for him.
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I didnt hear anything from him since them even when I kept sending him message. Last week a guy from one of the transgroups sended a message that the doctor in Denmark had been cursed with "witch-hunting" that means, the SK in Denmark wanted him to stop his threatment of transgender patients cause they dont like any doctors doing that exept themself. He been one of the last doctors in denmark who where to help, but now he also got into troubles and its indeed a big problem.
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I remember how he wrotte in his mail that he where so depressed going thought SK middleage system who where build for people with sexual issues and NOT transgenders. But he also said this doctor where his hope and how gratefull he was that he helped transgender even when he knew it where risky and the goverment may put him in trouble for it.
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after those messages I got worried and called his dad he told me the sad news that he had comitted suicide.
his dad said it happent after he got the message from SK and he probably couldnt see any hope.
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I feel so angry I feel like the goverment in my country killed my friend because the good doctors who help us transgender are previewed as criminals, and the bad guys who only care about getting money dont care about there patients at all. there only job is to see if you're man or woman enough to fit there decribtion not if you need help or not.
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I couldnt come to his funural, and I dont think I could give him the help he needed. in one message I wrotte I where sick of Denmark and just wanted to leave he said he also felt stucked in his place and he wanted to go somewhere than where he was.
I told my mom insteed of birthday present I wanted to travel. I know he liked like new york and so, I thought when he writte me again I ask him if he want to come to new york with me. unfurtunatly he never wrotte back.
=(
