I consider myself very emotionally stable now, and I think anything tossed in my way can be handled without worrying about how it's going to effect me.  It's just a very good place to be in my life, and I'm so happy to be me.  Plus, with a few things that I like to do for myself I look pretty good for an old woman. 

BUT, there are a couple days a month when somethings not right, and a little depression settles in.  It's not a lot, but it causes me to reminice about things that used to bother me.  And it can make my whole day move a little slower.  These one or two days seem to come along regularly about every month. 

I know it happens to everyone.  But how often?

It doesn't happen often to me, but yesterday I felt it. (Emotional Rollercoaster topic). In my case I think it was just the newness of the "E" in my system. I have been happier than any other time in my life with my transition progressing, so I have not been really seriously down in a while. We all have days though where nothing goes right, bad hair or rude people and I think it may hit us a little harder with all we have to deal with, but we are all here for each other. There is no reason anyone here should have to go it alone. Feel free to PM if it ever hits you hard, OK? Us sisters have to stick together always. Have a great day today and remember, we are ALL in this together. Help is only a PM away. BIG HUG! 

I am quite swingy recently, but I cant figure out if it is because of the HRT or private life issues, both combined or something else. It goes both ways - I can just drive my bike and suddenly something hits me and I spend remainder of my trip smiling to myself and all those persons I am meeting on the road, or quite opposite, I go to Youtube to find something and end up listening to sad music, almost on the verge of breaking into tears. It does not bother me much, but it can get annoying at times...

Every single second I live without the SRS/FFS is a living nightmare. I struggle each day of my life like climbing the steep mountain of Everest. I wonder if this nightmare would one day even end.

Every day lately. I used to be the most emotionally stable person in the world because...well, I was emotionally dead.

These days I'm all over the place. My horrible job spins me into pits of black depression...the long road ahead of me before I can be a whole person brings me to tears....the amount of my life I wasted trying so hard to be something that I was not meant to be is especially crippling.

So glad I have my Son, my Room Mate, cosmetics, Tai Chi, and Susan's Place.

Quote from: TaoRaven on October 08, 2013, 09:37:01 AM
Every day lately. I used to be the most emotionally stable person in the world because...well, I was emotionally dead.

WOW! That was me identically. A big bad Paramedic/Firefighter seeing chaos, confusion, destroyed lives and death. And not one single tear or emotion of any kind. God bless the Spiro and "E". It is like going from black and white to color. I feel kind of nice joining the human race at last. Of course with all these new emotions it's a little hard on my very patient BFF Gina. Right Gina!

Quote from: Evolving Beauty on October 08, 2013, 09:05:38 AM
Every single second I live without the SRS/FFS is a living nightmare. I struggle each day of my life like climbing the steep mountain of Everest. I wonder if this nightmare would one day even end.

Quote from: TaoRaven on October 08, 2013, 09:37:01 AM
Every day lately. I used to be the most emotionally stable person in the world because...well, I was emotionally dead.

These days I'm all over the place. My horrible job spins me into pits of black depression...the long road ahead of me before I can be a whole person brings me to tears....the amount of my life I wasted trying so hard to be something that I was not meant to be is especially crippling.

So glad I have my Son, my Room Mate, cosmetics, Tai Chi, and Susan's Place.

It does get better girls.  Been there and it really does get better. 

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on October 08, 2013, 09:49:21 AM
WOW! That was me identically. A big bad Paramedic/Firefighter seeing chaos, confusion, destroyed lives and death. And not one single tear or emotion of any kind. God bless the Spiro and "E". It is like going from black and white to color. I feel kind of nice joining the human race at last. Of course with all these new emotions it's a little hard on my very patient BFF Gina. Right Gina!

In addition to being an engineer I was a traffic manager who worked with the CHP at major accidents and disaster scenes.  I always shed a couple tears for the victims in fatal accidents, but I quit that part of my job after being at one with a car carrying six kids and an aunt who all died.  Tears lasted for hours, and it effected me in a way nothing else had.

I praise you and any officer or responder who deals with accidents, and anyone who serves in the military.  Take it from me, you deserve every cent you earn.  Thank you.

Quote from: kathyk on October 08, 2013, 10:21:21 AM
I praise you and any officer or responder who deals with accidents, and anyone who serves in the military.  Take it from me, you deserve every cent you earn.  Thank you.

Thanks Kathy! It sure is nice though to be retired and into transition where I can feel for the first time in my life. PTSD was a real problem before the transition. Not a real bad problem now that I deal with feelings instead of repressing them. Again, Thanks! 

Every time I think about this, I remark to myself on how rare it is unless something traumatic has happened (breakup, death in the family, etc.). It gets better with time and acceptance of who, what, and where you are. Your situation will take a lot more time just because of the particulars of your life right now. Give it time, take walks OUTSIDE, and make sure that you focus on the here and now rather than the past or the future. The more that you really actively work to address the ways in which the depression can get you, the better it gets.

Protip: Meditation FTW.

Quote from: Victoria Mitchell on October 08, 2013, 12:07:44 PM
...  focus on the here and now rather than the past or the future. The more that you really actively work to address the ways in which the depression can get you, the better it gets.

Protip: Meditation FTW.

Yesterday when the depression started I decided to pick wild apples after finishing a concrete block wall, and in the evening I made apple sauce.  It didn't help a lot but the depression didn't get worse either.  But when I was still down this morning I started getting mad at myself for letting it in to begin with.  That's when I did the original post.

So late this afternoon I drove 200 miles round trip to the nearest Menard's and Lowe's to pick up a ton of construction supplies(literally).  I used the driving time to practice my voice and mentally go through the steps to finish two projects.  On the way a brief stop was made at a small lake to take pictures of the fall color.  By the time I got home things were settled out for the most part.  By tomorrow I'll probably wonder what all the fuss was about, and I'll push the last two days aside. 

Oh yes, meditation.  I've practiced a lot in youthful hippie days, but lost interest and only go into it when I've got some anger issue. 
Thanks.