Now everything makes sense.  I had my appointment today with my PC physician this morning.  After a thorough and humiliating exam,  she said she could not feel any testis in the scrotum or in my abdomen where they might be undesended.  She said she didn't think I have any at all.  Not even undecended but she has refered me to a urologist for further tests.  More humiliation.  However, it make a lot of sense to me now why I look female with male genitals.  That has always baffled me, my parents and close friends. I'll update as I find out more.

Wow!  What a revelation!

*hug*

I hope this gives you some understanding and peace... it will certainly make transition easier/easy to justify to family and relations.  I can only imagine...

Woo human stuff. Don't let the doctors appointments get to you. It's just part of the process of figuring out what's going on. Sounds like you have a pretty strong form of a congenital condition. Here's hoping that you're just on your way to an awesome outcome!

Quote from: robinmack on October 08, 2013, 12:08:24 PM
Wow!  What a revelation!

*hug*

I hope this gives you some understanding and peace... it will certainly make transition easier/easy to justify to family and relations.  I can only imagine...

I guess now I will find out if I need estrogen.  It's a relief though to know my body isn't producing T.

Your face looks amazingly as female without feminizing effect of estrogen. So will they investigate why. Its good because you may only need a low dose of estrogen if you wish to go further or none at all if you wish.

Quote from: Tatyana on October 08, 2013, 12:51:57 PM
I guess now I will find out if I need estrogen.  It's a relief though to know my body isn't producing T.

Absolutely... this gives you a great benefit; all the time you need to determine the path you wish to take without having to worry about T changing your features irrevocably.  Although I imagine it was not easy at all for you when all your peers were going through "the changes". 

*hug*

I wish you joy and happiness in whatever direction you choose to take in life.

I'm kinda curious - did nobody notice this before? Doctors doing physicals? Parents?

That said, I don't think you have to worry about T running wild in your system.

Quote from: Tatyana on October 08, 2013, 11:18:58 AM
Now everything makes sense.  I had my appointment today with my PC physician this morning.  After a thorough and humiliating exam,  she said she could not feel any testis in the scrotum or in my abdomen where they might be undesended.  She said she didn't think I have any at all.  Not even undescended but she has referred me to a urologist for further tests.  More humiliation.  However, it make a lot of sense to me now why I look female with male genitals.  That has always baffled me, my parents and close friends. I'll update as I find out more.

Don't feel bad or humiliated.  No one likes invasive exams, but it is for your well-being.

From what you say in you post, you may very well have an intersex condition.  You might want to look up "anorchia."   It will be okay.  I am proud of you for taking control of you life and seeking answers.

There is nothing to feel humiliated about.  Defects are much more common than people usually realize or are willing to discuss.  Just remember that there is nothing wrong with you or your body.  It's okay.  Don't let yourself get humiliated by this.  It's good you discovered this and are going to look further into this.  My best wishes to you.  Stay strong!

Quote from: ZoeM on October 08, 2013, 01:00:02 PM
I'm kinda curious - did nobody notice this before? Doctors doing physicals? Parents?

That said, I don't think you have to worry about T running wild in your system.

Only thing anyone noticed was my female appearance.  My parents are layed back hippies from the 70s.  They didn't see a problem with it.  I'm sure doctors noticed but with my parents layed back attitude they probably brushed it off.

Quote from: Jamie de la Rosa on October 08, 2013, 01:05:29 PM
Don't feel bad or humiliated.  No one likes invasive exams, but it is for your well-being.

From what you say in you post, you may very well have an intersex condition.  You might want to look up "anorchia."   It will be okay.  I am proud of you for taking control of you life and seeking answers.

I guess the next step will be looking into SRS.  Does anyone know if insurance would pay for it since this a birth condition?

Quote from: Tatyana on October 08, 2013, 01:47:21 PM
I guess the next step will be looking into SRS.  Does anyone know if insurance would pay for it since this a birth condition?

It really depends on the insurance policy.  I would imagine that some would argue that since you have the other bit, you don't physically need SRS, and would probably argue instead for hormonal therapy to make your body match you appendage.

Some insurance companies actually cover SRS for anybody as long as it is deemed medically necessary.  Here's hoping yours is one of those... you can ask for a copy of your policy and go through it yourself, or you can call the insurance company and ask.  I wish I could give you an unconditional "yes"... if I had my way, it would be flat out covered for everyone who needed it.  :\

*hug*

Quote from: Joules on October 08, 2013, 02:05:21 PM
Hugs Tatyana.

That must be quite a revelation indeed, I can only imagine.

Can I ask a question?  Have you been to a gender therapist?  I see by your gender flag that you are identifying as female.  It would likely be very helpful to any insurance claims to have a well supported professional opinion of your inner gender.  I think it would be painful and aggravating to argue with "those people" about your real gender.

I've never seen one.  I absolutely do identify with the female gender.  Always have.

Quote from: Joules on October 08, 2013, 02:18:39 PM
Have you always presented as female?

Yes but then I couldn't pass as a boy even if I wanted to. 

Quote from: Tatyana on October 08, 2013, 01:47:21 PM
I guess the next step will be looking into SRS.  Does anyone know if insurance would pay for it since this a birth condition?

I've had corrective surgery for a genital defect that I was born with.  Insurance covered it for my family, but it was not to change my assigned gender at the time.   Fixing a genital defect as best as possible is a bit different from having a sex change.  If you were born and assigned as "male" at birth, it would probably only be covered f they offer transgender care and SRS.  Genital defects and intersex conditions, I believe, are usually covered, but you are now looking to transition which means you likely fall into the same coverage dilemma that trans people face.  I could be wrong, but I believe this is the case.

Quote from: Tatyana on October 08, 2013, 01:47:21 PM
I guess the next step will be looking into SRS.  Does anyone know if insurance would pay for it since this a birth condition?

If this is a congenital condition, perhaps your insurance will cover it.  You really need to talk to your insurance plan and doctors.  It might help to find out what your genetic karyotype is too.

Quote from: Jamie de la Rosa on October 08, 2013, 02:38:54 PM
If this is a congenital condition, perhaps your insurance will cover it.  You really need to talk to your insurance plan and doctors.  It might help to find out what your genetic karyotype is too.

What is a karyotype?

Poor you for all that poking a prodding.

How are you feeling in life, happy, depressed, concerned? 

A karyotype is like if your XX, XY, XXY etc.  I am 46XY which is 'normal' male karyotype...

Quote from: Emmaline on October 08, 2013, 02:47:56 PM
Poor you for all that poking a prodding.

How are you feeling in life, happy, depressed, concerned? 

A karyotype is like if your XX, XY, XXY etc.  I am 46XY which is 'normal' male karyotype...

Oh that's another issue then.  I have no idea what my karyotype is but I will find out that's for sure.

There are some rare conditions in which a person with 46 XX genes has the appearance of a male at birth.

And there is always the possibility of chimerism or mosaicism.  Both of these are the result of a "mixture" of XX and XY chromosomes in one individual.

It would just be good for you to have that knowledge, for your own peace of mind.