Hi, I'm a 26 years old MTF in the process of finding herself, which is hard because I'm married and I don't want to lose my wife at all. I moved to her country just so I could be with her, my old life is in other continent, here I only have her.

When I decided to leave my country for her, I probably thought subconsciously that being loved and happy would make my dysphoria go away, and after a year of marriage it has been the opposite; I am as loved and happy as I could be, but the dysphoria is still there, and I know that I couldn't hide it any more so a month ago I told my wife about my "problems", pretty much in this way: "I don't know what really happens to me, and I need to find out".

The more open and honest that I am with myself, the more I realize that I need transitioning, that this is not a fetish that I can fulfill just by wearing a bra while having sex once a week. This is scary both for me and my wife. I'm sure that she never planned to be in a lesbian marriage. Although she tries hard to be accepting, in some days she has very hard time with all the idea. I hope this will change gradually.

I would like to find the strength and the wisdom to make everything work without having to choose between her and my true self, and I'm sure that you guys will help me with that.

Welcome baby! Start by letting her know that you love her and this is not a reflection of anything she did or caused. Next, get her on this forum, especially in the Significant Others section. My story seems like yours to a "T". I married thinking it would "cure" me also. What we and others do not realize is we do not need a "cure". We have gender dysphoria and it cannot be hidden or controlled. It is an inner conflict that science is starting to recognize. They are finding out new things about the brain every day. One study indicated a possible higher neural count sent from the Amigdala to the Medulla via a special neurotransmitter. It is not a choice to be transgender. It is not a choice of choosing which gender we want to have relations with. It is science plain and simple. All of us have things in common such as: A brain not compatible with our outside sex, feelings of shame or confusion, attempting to be who we simply are not, an overwhelming desire to modify our outside body to match our inner feelings, fighting our feelings without success and where to start or how to deal with it. This forum has saved my life and sanity and gave me the strength to start my transition. I am on HRT and progressing slowly. There are very valuable people, resources and stories and logs of people in all stages of transition. Use them and tell us about the good days and bad. If you are depressed help is only a key board away. People here are caring, honest and reliable and will help however they can. We are family now little sister and family helps family. So start educating yourself, let your wife study if she elects to and take charge of your life. It is not easy, but it is easier than living with dysphoria by yourself. I would also strongly suggest that you find a good gender counselor and start seeing them. Good luck baby. Help is only a PM away.

Quote from: la_paciente on October 08, 2013, 08:52:47 AM
I would like to find the strength and the wisdom to make everything work without having to choose between her and my true self, and I'm sure that you guys will help me with that.

*hug*

Congratulations... both on taking the bold steps you have taken, and on finding this community.  It is a great forum for thousands of wonderful, supportive, open and friendly people.

Welcome.

Quote from: robinmack on October 08, 2013, 12:44:54 PM
*hug*

Congratulations... both on taking the bold steps you have taken, and on finding this community.  It is a great forum for thousands of wonderful, supportive, open and friendly people.

Welcome.

Thank you Robin 

Hi la paciente 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here

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Hugs

V M

Hello and welcome to our family!

Hi la_paciente, welcome to Susan's Place! You'll meet lots of new friends here, I'll see you around the site.  Hugs, Devlyn

¡Bienvenida, la Paciente!  Estoy encantado de conocerte.   

Welcome to Susan's, la paciente!

Amy

Hi La Paciente,

Welcome to our little family. Over 7914 members. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.


Janet  )O(

Hello and thank you to V M, Darkie, Devlyn, Jamie, Amelia and Janet!

To the ones who didn't,  I would really love if you could do me this huge favor and suggest a name for me in this thread, I'm super curious about it!
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,150326.0.html

Hugs!