I had a breakdown , and rang the doctor who im seeing later anyway  :/
urgh im so stupid , i lost the plot

OK. Slow down and run that by me again. I kind of didn't receive that clearly. And for God sake, Breathe.

Don't be embarrassed about it.
It's the way the body copes with things.

I should know as I had a really bad one a few years ago after a terrible accident to my partner but I came out of it a much stronger person and have now been able to cope better with difficult situations.
I was scared, very scared about what my body was doing.

Have a good talk with the doctor as they can really help, they did for me.

You're only human so nothing to be ashamed of.

Hugs Jen

I made an appointment for this afternoon for my depression and to come out as well , urh
then I rang up again to get a earlier appointment
they got the dr to ring me back
I had a breakdown and she was trying to get me an appointment
i said iv got one , and then felt stupid 
im so dumb

im such a f'''' up 

Quote from: ukftminneed on October 09, 2013, 05:58:19 AM
im such a f'''' up 

No, you're not. You're young, anxious and very nervous about discussing with your GP a very private matter. You know what all that adds up to?

You're human.

So just take a deep breath and go chat to the doctor later. They won't judge you: they're there to help you.

Did you read that info I posted in your other thread last week, about what to expect at the GP?

yeah its just hard im everywhere I feel so ill :/

You'll be OK, try the ten deep breaths trick! Hugs, Devlyn

its just so insane one min im ok the next its like im stuck on a train track and the trains coming , i feel so stupid for doing that

That's the anxiety talking: make yourself a cup of tea, have a sit-down and take a deep breath. Heck, put on some Jeremy Kyle and yell at the chavs for a couple of minutes if that takes your mind off things. You're going to be okay.

One of the beauties about coming out is that once the truth is out in the open, you don't have to feel so anxious about hiding it any more. I used to tie myself up in knots of anxiety about how scary it would be if people knew the truth about me; the instant I told someone I started to feel slightly better. Now, a year after I came out to everybody, I couldn't give two hoots.

Yes, that first discussion with a GP is nerve-wracking. But just get it out the way. When you get there, tell them you're feeling anxious and depressed because you're struggling with your gender identity, and you need an urgent referral to a GIC. That's all you need to say to open the conversation.

Quote from: FTMDiaries on October 09, 2013, 06:20:59 AM
That's the anxiety talking: make yourself a cup of tea, have a sit-down and take a deep breath. Heck, put on some Jeremy Kyle and yell at the chavs for a couple of minutes if that takes your mind off things. You're going to be okay.

One of the beauties about coming out is that once the truth is out in the open, you don't have to feel so anxious about hiding it any more. I used to tie myself up in knots of anxiety about how scary it would be if people knew the truth about me; the instant I told someone I started to feel slightly better. Now, a year after I came out to everybody, I couldn't give two hoots.

Yes, that first discussion with a GP is nerve-wracking. But just get it out the way. When you get there, tell them you're feeling anxious and depressed because you're struggling with your gender identity, and you need an urgent referral to a GIC. That's all you need to say to open the conversation.

omg , thankyou so much I had no idea what to say buts thats perfect ,which might sound stupid cause its so simple but , i find it hard, will I get a urgent referral ? cause I cant cope waiting weeks anymore , iv been waiting weeks for anxiety therapy and I cant do it any more I feel incapable 

Nothing is lost with a little embarassment! Don't feel bad about it and don't dwell on it. The Dr's office probably won't even remember or notice.

Good luck!! Hope you come out successfully. It definitely gets easier the more often you do it and I think there are very few doctors who will deride you for being trans*. Family doctors tend to be very open to a lot of different things - especially the young ones.

I am not a doctor... but if you're feeling that anxious, your GP may well prescribe some anxiety medication to help you get through this rough patch. It never hurts to ask your doctor to refer you urgently, but please bear in mind that pretty much everyone who asks for a referral to a GIC feels just as desperate as you do and all of them want to be seen yesterday.

There are only 7 NHS GICs for adults in England (London, Sheffield, Leeds, Sunderland, Nottingham, Norwich and Exeter) and they all have a lot of patients on their books already, as well as people who are waiting to see them. So the harsh truth is that you're not going to get to a GIC within weeks; that simply doesn't happen in the NHS. It's more like a wait of a couple of months (for the quieter GICs) or even a year or two (for the busier ones). This is due to two reasons: 1) there are far more trans* patients than clinics, and 2) gender dysphoria isn't routinely funded in the NHS, so the GICs have to apply for special funding from your local health authority before they can see you - and like any government bureaucracy, this takes time. So a little patience is required, and if you don't think you can cope with the wait, you need to say this to your GP so that they can try to help you with medication and/or counselling.

Above all, please bear in mind that gender reassignment is a long, slow process that will have lasting effects on the rest of your life. It's a marathon, not a sprint. But your GP - and the NHS - will help you get there. It seems perverse, but GICs are actually wary of people who seem desperate to transition as quickly as possible, because they worry about us making rash decisions. So finding some patience will serve you in the long run.

unfortunately the only way to fight anxiety is to defy it. if you have any stubbornness in you, take it all out and do the exact opposite of what your anxiety tells you to do. anxiety says to not tell the doc, treat anxiety as another person who is out to harm you and place hinders in your way, and defy it by telling your doc.

i've many times thought that okay, this might just end up killing me, but i'll do it anyway (since there isn't any other way i can get forward in my life). doing it anyway has never hurt me thus far, and experiencing this fact has given me a pretty good tool to cope with bouts of extreme anxiety.

Quote from: FTMDiaries on October 09, 2013, 07:08:18 AM
I am not a doctor... but if you're feeling that anxious, your GP may well prescribe some anxiety medication to help you get through this rough patch. It never hurts to ask your doctor to refer you urgently, but please bear in mind that pretty much everyone who asks for a referral to a GIC feels just as desperate as you do and all of them want to be seen yesterday.

There are only 7 NHS GICs for adults in England (London, Sheffield, Leeds, Sunderland, Nottingham, Norwich and Exeter) and they all have a lot of patients on their books already, as well as people who are waiting to see them. So the harsh truth is that you're not going to get to a GIC within weeks; that simply doesn't happen in the NHS. It's more like a wait of a couple of months (for the quieter GICs) or even a year or two (for the busier ones). This is due to two reasons: 1) there are far more trans* patients than clinics, and 2) gender dysphoria isn't routinely funded in the NHS, so the GICs have to apply for special funding from your local health authority before they can see you - and like any government bureaucracy, this takes time. So a little patience is required, and if you don't think you can cope with the wait, you need to say this to your GP so that they can try to help you with medication and/or counselling.

Above all, please bear in mind that gender reassignment is a long, slow process that will have lasting effects on the rest of your life. It's a marathon, not a sprint. But your GP - and the NHS - will help you get there. It seems perverse, but GICs are actually wary of people who seem desperate to transition as quickly as possible, because they worry about us making rash decisions. So finding some patience will serve you in the long run.

im all ready on meds :/
thats terribly long wait , how will I stay alive that long awh gosh

you were right calm down and drink tea , sometimes I have irrational moments , sorry guys for being negative yen

Quote from: ukftminneed on October 09, 2013, 08:17:23 AM
you were right calm down and drink tea , sometimes I have irrational moments , sorry guys for being negative yen

A nice cup of tea can solve pretty much anything.

Quote from: ukftminneed on October 09, 2013, 07:38:00 AM
thats terribly long wait , how will I stay alive that long awh gosh

You can stay alive that long in exactly the same way we all have to do: by accepting the fact that some delays are inevitable, but that's the price we pay for not having to go into enormous debt in order to transition.

It's also worth remembering that you've been struggling with gender dysphoria for some time now and you've survived thus far... so you already have what it takes to achieve your goals.

You could also phone the GICs in your area and ask what their waiting times are between receiving a doctor's referral and offering the first appointment. Then ask your GP to refer you to the GIC with the shortest queues.

just knowing that you'll get an appointment can be enough to give you the strength needed to wait it out.
do what you can to get counseling for your anxiety while you're waiting, not having too many other problems to deal with can speed up the process when you finally get there.

Quote from: FTMDiaries on October 09, 2013, 08:30:51 AM
A nice cup of tea can solve pretty much anything.

You can stay alive that long in exactly the same way we all have to do: by accepting the fact that some delays are inevitable, but that's the price we pay for not having to go into enormous debt in order to transition.

It's also worth remembering that you've been struggling with gender dysphoria for some time now and you've survived thus far... so you already have what it takes to achieve your goals.

You could also phone the GICs in your area and ask what their waiting times are between receiving a doctor's referral and offering the first appointment. Then ask your GP to refer you to the GIC with the shortest queues.

I just feel so mentally ill , its hard , I know it should in theory get better , im afraid of asking to be referred to a GIC incase she doesnt know what one is , I dont know the system , what if she doenst :/

argh god my appointments soon