I'm a girl and I'm also a boy who was born a boy but I know what I feel. I also know ill never transition for it wouldn't be 100% natural looking. Thing no one knows is that in heaven I want to spend my eternity as a girl. I don't want to deal with confusion forever. I'm a girl inside sort of. I'd never want to be a girl personally unless it appeared like I was born a girl. I would know it was 100% real. I hope this makes sense. Mentally it's natural, physical no. I've figured out I probably am transgender.

Larissa,

First off, you have to do what feels right. Maybe if you started seeing a therapist and started to express your concerns with him/her than things might be able to become clearer and would take away some of the confusion.

While we're here on Earth, we should be able to do what pleases us to make us 100% happy, and if you're not happy seeing yourself as a guy but more of a girl, than I think that you should start to transition. That's the point in my life that I have reached. Unfortunately when we reach heaven, everything is returned to it's natural place and all our scars will be fixed.

Read Revealtion 21:4
This is what I had recited by memory to my late wife as she had laid on the gurney as she had just passed away. In a way I had read her her last rites, since our pastor wasn't there.

Hi Larissa,
You can do only what feels right for you. Whatever your decision may be, I hope you will be happy forever.
Ciara.

Quote from: Larisa1983 on October 03, 2013, 06:57:53 AM
I'm a girl and I'm also a boy who was born a boy but I know what I feel. I also know ill never transition for it wouldn't be 100% natural looking. Thing no one knows is that in heaven I want to spend my eternity as a girl. I don't want to deal with confusion forever. I'm a girl inside sort of. I'd never want to be a girl personally unless it appeared like I was born a girl. I would know it was 100% real. I hope this makes sense. Mentally it's natural, physical no. I've figured out I probably am transgender.

I thought I could settle for that for a long time Larisa, I know everyone is different but I look back now and I cringe at the fact that I forced the real me into the back seat for a LONG time, if I could go back and talk to myself 20 years ago I would do everything I could to persuade me not to 'settle' for inhabiting the wrong body, and believe me if I ever want to pass as female its going to take a lot but I don't care, I HAVE to try......

I wish you luck with what ever path you walk. But i echo the use of a therapist. I think they can help with many things you are feeling. There is no law that says if you have GID you must transition. Transition is just that you take steps in transiting from one gender to the other.

I am no longer transiting, i have ended mine when i had my GCS done. For me i now feel i am that real women in the mirror.

Take everything as slow as you need and never do anything YOU do not feel inside it right to do. Remember it is your life to live.

Izzy

Quote from: mind is quiet now on October 03, 2013, 11:26:51 AM
I wish you luck with what ever path you walk. But i echo the use of a therapist. I think they can help with many things you are feeling. There is no law that says if you have GID you must transition. Transition is just that you take steps in transiting from one gender to the other.

I am no longer transiting, i have ended mine when i had my GCS done. For me i now feel i am that real women in the mirror.

Take everything as slow as you need and never do anything YOU do not feel inside it right to do. Remember it is your life to live.

Izzy

Great Advice.

Larisa, you should listen to Izzy.  Don't feel bad about choosing one path or another.  As long as you find the right one for you, that is all that matters.  Good Luck!

I don't want to step on your personal beliefs or anything, but if this is the only life you have and there isn't a heaven, wouldn't you want to live it the way you want too and not rely on things turning out better once this life is over.

This is the mortal experience we've been granted on Earth, since our last one was immortal we're experiencing very new (but probably old) things. It's up to yourself, whatever you choose, to make yourself happy and to make this the best days of your mortal life. It's what we've been set as a task to find, happiness. So go for what you feel is right. If it makes you happy then you've made the right decision.

When I came of age some 40 years ago I also felt I could never transition. I grew up in a world full of females, the vast majority no taller than 5'6". I was an even 6 ft. in bare feet. Also throw in rapaidly balding on top of a few other physical issues. Tons of emotional issues also. I also was a big fat target growing up and going through school.

In spite of those difficulties I experimented twice with transitioning. Unfortunately the ghosts from the past put and end to both. The main one being a big fat target. I relived those painfull memories with each giggle or long look that came my way. A lifetime of those was not for me.

Being or feeling you are transgendered hardly ever goes away. It never did for me. The feelings of shame and guilt can go away. For me they mostly have. I may still never transition to full time. I will meet God knowing I truely am a woman though I may not have lived fully as one.

Thirty years ago you would have gotten a far far different answer from me. Funny how life works

I have started my transition and I am 47. As long as I feel right, who cares what people think. They have closet's too!

You don't have to decide to fully transition right now. I understand you're a little of one, a little of the other...so play with it.

Put on clear nail polish, see if you like that (nevermind any fears that "what if others see??"...do YOU like it?)

Try on a pair of women's underwear...maybe a bra. Or even some socks, pink or purple ones?

Do simple things like these...see how much and in what direction you'd like to take this. Maybe it's just an exploratory phase...maybe it's not.

Wear girlie T-shirts, maybe get the ears pierced...and proceed from there.

Hmmm well my position is well established, but, for the benefit of the OP, and because I at least know the dogma.....

When you go to heaven as you are expecting to do, you are not taking your body with you eh. Just thought I would remind you for your peace of mind. Only your soul is making the trip, and your soul has no sex, it has no gender, and it will not be relevant what you looked like, as none of that is going with you.

That is the mortal portion of you and that is going back to the dust eh.

It does tend to make me wonder about the Muslim virgin notion. Because in heaven, no one has sex (yeah who thinks up these places ).

Any way Larisa, the only thing going to heaven, is the person, the part of you that is not defined by flesh. You will arrive there as YOU, and you should keep that in mind

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on October 05, 2013, 11:37:45 AM
When you go to heaven as you are expecting to do, you are not taking your body with you eh. Just thought I would remind you for your peace of mind. Only your soul is making the trip, and your soul has no sex, it has no gender, and it will not be relevant what you looked like, as none of that is going with you.

I am going in the other direction, Hell has ALL the best music

Quote from: alex rogers on October 06, 2013, 03:15:03 AM
I am going in the other direction, Hell has ALL the best music

have you never heard bach?
no music will ever get better, just see how much metal copies that style. and bach wrote for heaven, not hell.
there are also many metal fans who worship through the most expressive form of music that they know, and that doesn't sound anything like gospel.

still, if you were talking about the screams of agony, i might agree with you...

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on October 05, 2013, 10:22:38 AM
I have started my transition and I am 47. As long as I feel right, who cares what people think. They have closet's too!

I agree 100% with Jessica. Very good thoughts there BFF!!!

I too thought at one time that I could never be the girl on the outside, that I was on the inside.  I even stopped taking E for three years as it just was never going to work out.  I was so sure too.

But I decided one day that I did not want to die in the wrong body and I would get use to being an ugly woman.   Funny how it all worked out. No FFS either.

Lucky there is no one answer and what you decide for yourself is what's important.

I too felt the same way that since I was not born a woman that I couldn't become one later in life. A lot of this was the feeling that I missed out on growing up as a girl. Never getting to be a princess as a child, not getting to learn about makeup and fashion with friends even not going through puberty as a girl. In the end it came to the point that I couldn't live any more as a man and when it came to the point of suicide or transition it was an easy choice.

Quote from: JennyH on October 12, 2013, 07:09:58 PMI too felt the same way that since I was not born a woman that I couldn't become one later in life. A lot of this was the feeling that I missed out on growing up as a girl. Never getting to be a princess as a child, not getting to learn about makeup and fashion with friends even not going through puberty as a girl. In the end it came to the point that I couldn't live any more as a man and when it came to the point of suicide or transition it was an easy choice.

I'm not quite to that last point yet, but I feel the same way as you do.
Ciara, just do what you think is right, and what will make you happy. Often you'll find the two coincide.