The Moment I Finally Came to Understand and Accept Transgender People
Mehrac Aliyari, The Huffington Post, 10/15/2013 4:10 pm

I'm gay-friendly. Always have been. And proud of it.

When I was a little girl, I lived in Orléans, France, and our neighbor L was an Army pilot. We -- and by "we" I mean the people residing in the "Village S... J..." -- all knew that L was gay. And the good thing was that he never actually had to come out to us...

So, yes, I'm really open-minded when gay people are concerned. But I am ashamed to say that until quite recently, this wasn't the case when it came to transgender people.

For a very long time I saw trans people as gay people who were ashamed or afraid to be themselves. It was something that I thought was insulting homosexuality. I respected trans people but didn't understand them. "There's no shame in being gay," I thought, "so why can't they understand it?" I, like a lot of other people, was confusing sexuality with gender.

Thanks Amelia. It helps to highlight how even progressive and open minded people don't get trans people. It's assumed by many that, in my male persona, I am gay because I'm not masculine, manly or interested in most things men seem to be. If they ever find out that I've had a trans history that usually clinches the gay theory... and it's true only in so much as I am deeply attracted to women... so of course if I were in my female persona then technically I am homosexual. Easy enough to see how it confuses people, heck it confused me the first time around. The fact I felt attracted to women whilst transitioning made me deeply doubt my trans status. Fortunately I feel a lot more clarity about it these days!

I still love this conversation, another trans*woman and I were talking to a straight male colleague.

So Cindy you are a woman and your sexual preference is for men, doesn't that make you gay? No that makes me straight. 'Oh'

And you M are a woman who likes women, so you are straight? No I'm a lesbian. 'Oh'

I don't understand any of this I love you both, can I buy you ladies a coffee.

Sure, and as the three of us held hands with him in the middle we asked. Oh, are you now Bi, Straight or Gay?

I think I'm beginning to understand.

I don't think he did

Unfortunately everybody kind of fits into their own catagory. Men who like men are gay, women who like women are lesbian , those that enjoy both are bi, etc. Now that's just the way that I see things. I thought that after watching that video of the young couple that are transitioning together was very touching. And when they are complete, I hope that the world sees them as a normal couple, and dosn't label them as being gay. Because in my outlook, they've both changed their sexes to match what was in their brains in the first place and now everything is anatomically correct.

I'm transgender and hetero. Trans people can be gay, lesbian or bi. This surprises some folks. The gender binary system we currently have is very restrictive and flawed. It's sad that some GLB people defend the same binary system that was used against them.

Thank you for sharing that article... I'm totally stealing it and sharing it on my FB wall! 

*hug*

It shames me to admit it, but for a long time I had issues with transgendered people, at the same time I was fascinated by them and learned everything I could about them and their transition.  It wasn't until I was truly honest with myself, coming out to myself as trans, that I truly accepted it.

Sure, I was an advocate, but every expressed thought of "Congratulations on being courageous enough to take that path, I support you" was always internally clouded with a negative litany "I can't do that, I would never pass, I could never do that to my family, etc."  That's when I also began to understand why so many homophobes are closet homosexuals.  "Sour grapes" indeed.

For a long time I thought of myself as gender-queer, thinking that spending some time in "female mode" would scratch the itch, and that would make me so much better off than transsexual people who needed to transition.  And, the more I realized how much happier I was in "female mode" and the more I thought about it, the closer I got until finally, one day, memories came flooding back of a lifetime of denial. 

It's nice to know non-trans people have similar epiphanies...

It's nice to get uplifting articles such as this. Thanks for sharing Amelia!