It's hard to believe we're rehashing this again.
A couple of observations about the dialog on this subject: Those who are TS and who have transitioned are Pro-Life and Anti-Choice. Of course I say this tongue in cheek. They have chosen to
live rather than to commit suicide or be unbearably miserable (I'm not sure there's much of a difference.) And they sincerely do not believe there is a
choice in the matter.
I also notice that it is the ones who have transitioned (with or without surgery) who are the ones who are adamant about defining a TS as one who
will transition sooner or later. And their definitions point to the fact that anyone who decides not to transition or cannot for medical or other reasons must not be the real deal. And of course now we have medical standards to give "credence" to this. I really must wonder if some (certainly not all) of those who seem so uncompromising on the transition issue do so because they are still, at some level, rather insecure about their own decision to do so.
My concern with this "who's in the union" mentality is that those who are really struggling, who are trying to decide between the best of multiple evils, may have just as severe (or worse) dysphoria as those who have transitioned. So now they are dissed by everyone: family, friends, co-workers, and even the rest of the TG community because they don't quite measure up for anyone. Even their own bodies tell them that, in some crazy way, they are not welcome. So they are told that if they were really worthy of the grand title of TG (apparently some kind of holy grail to many), they wouldn't care what anyone thought. And herein lies the fallacy of this way of thinking.
Most people do care what others think, and some people care a great deal. They are loved ones: wives, husbands, parents, children, neighbors, church members........ In fact, they would rather die than scandalize those they hold near and dear. It should not have to be that way, but right now, society has made it that way. If they do not physically die, many are living emotionally dead lives, having been denied the core of their happiness. And the TG community consigns them down to some second tier of importance because their own personal happiness is not at the top of their priority list. They are excluded and demeaned, not for their
medical condition, but for their
value system which may put love of and service to others at the very top. So how many people in this camp finally give up on life because they now fit nowhere? If they are not fully accepted by the TG community, who will accept them?
There would seem to be a danger of a peer pressure mentality where some are (perhaps unknowingly) pressured into seeking transition for the sake of validation and acceptance. This is more than disastrous. It is the classic "tail-wagging-the-dog" and it must be the other way around. Else, I submit that the system itself is invalid. It is no longer
descriptive but
prescriptive. In that case the system is, in fact, extremely harmful.
I'll stop the rant, and I know that practically no one on here agrees with these sentiments. And I know most are tired of me making these comments. That's OK, I can duck. So lob away. But before you do, please honestly examine your heart and ask if your actions in perpetuating a caste system just might contribute to the demise of another person who is your soul mate, but in different circumstances.
OK, here come the bricks......
Kristi
